I done been tagged agin... 6 unusual things about the Cookie y'all didn't know...

Well Sir...here I was...just a pickin my nose, scratchin my butt...and mindin my own business, and good old Sig over at Signal 94 tagged me to post 6 unusual and unknown things about myself....humph.

I guess this here tag originated in Australia by one of the writer/contributors to The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler, went to Taxes-Stupidity-and Death...and eventually got to the Cookie....

So....Here they be...6 unusual things y'all didn't know bout this here Cookie.....

1) I started takin flyin lessons in the famous J-3 Piper Cub at age 12. Now Sir...if'n yur unfamiliar with this great old aircraft, they are a two seated (tandem) plane that was/is, really simple and easy to fly. However, at age 16, while soloing fer my second or third time, I crashed just after take off, crashing into a Polish Cemetery. Luckily for me, I only received a large laceration over my left eye, but I sure did rip up a bunch a grave stones and monuments. Being a Polish cemetary, the Polish caretakers who also responded to the crash site recovered about 113 bodies and were still findin bodies four days later... ;-). Only kiddin bout the bodies...but I did crash in a cemetary....

Oh..and P.S., my flight instructor (who had been one of the famous Flying Tigers of WWII) told me as I stood there bleeding all over myself and him, "Hey kid...any landin ya walk away frum is a good landin."....

2) Now Mam...sumthin I ain't proud of, but tis true never-the-less, between the age of 13 and about age 16, I was a burglar (mostly businesses) and a car thief. This, BTW, is how I paid fer some a my flight lessons. Fortunately (by the grace of God, fast feet and slow cops), I never got caught. I wouldn't admit this ceptin fer the fact that the Statute of Limitations has long run out...

3) Because my life of crime was in the late 50's and early 60's, before drugs were really in vogue...I never did do drugs, but I could drink a sailor under the table. Hardly a day went by that I wasn't in a fight with someone, and usually won (I fought dirty). On weekends, the gang I was in would go to the local roller-skating rink (in Mattydale, NY) and get into "Gang fights" or "rumbles" with other gangs who were on our turf....I loved it.

4) I had a permanent seat reserved for me in the Principals Office of the high school I went to, North Syracuse Central High. Myself and the Principal were on a first name basis. I called him Bob and he called me "God-dammit". Our conversations would always begin with Bob sayin, "God-Dammit...you again."....

5) In spite of all my shenanigans in school and out, I managed to somehow graduate with Honors and a New York State Regents Scholarship Award. Wonder what I coulda done with my life if'n I had applied myself to my studies back then.....

6) After my tour of duty in Uncle Sam's Yacht Club (United States Navy), I became a Police Officer...and found I was very good at law enforcement...after all...it takes a thief to catch a thief. I retired as a Sergeant after 21 years....

OK, now I'm gonna tag the follerin folks fer their turn at self revelation...

A Geezers Corner

Shooting the Messenger

Blowing San #1

The Dread Pundit Bluto

Hillbilly White Trash

Myron's Random Thoughts

OK ladies...the ball's in yur court.....and fer you three old Bubbleheads...Aoooooggaa...Aoooogga

Fer all you Conservative folks out there....

Well Sir...fer all you conservatives out there who enjoy a good bit of puns and punditry...get on over to The Peoples Cube.... below is a very small sample of some a their stuff....

I know I'm gonna be a postin this here blog in my blogroll post haste....

A bald Brittany...

Well Sir...I normally don't bother much with followin such idiotic behaviors (and the idiots behind them)...but the thought came t'mind that...we now all know that this ain't the only area of her body that is shaved.....

Wonder if'n she's got some kinda phobia bout body hair...???

Just a Saturday PotPourri..... some a the photygraffs be R-Rated...

Well Sir....still snowed in...and I still got a ton of shovelin t'do...so just some quickies fer y'all...and be warned...some a these pix be R-RATED....

Make sure you ain't in the reflection when takin that photygraff...

..."Tent....what tent???..."

See if'n ya can spot "Little Johnny" ..

HAT TIP: Fish...thanks mate....

The Fwench Army Knife...

Hey Guys...watch out fer this here Scam..... R-Rated

Well Sir....I been a bit reluctant to share this here scam info with all you others guys out there...but since I'm a nice guy...I thought I'd be lettin ya in on it...

Y'all be careful now ...ya hear....

Hard to believe you can even get scammed at Home Depot.

Home Depot Scam

A "heads up" for you and any of your friends who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the past Summer... I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping items into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the back seat.

On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I've had my wallet stolen August 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, three times just yesterday, and very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more wallets.

S'more winter photos of upstate New York... and more snow on the way t'night...

Well Sir...a picture's worth a thousand wurds...and BTW...the last photygraff is Oswego Harbor on Lake Ontario.....

Just fer chuckles... Some funny photo's and a good joke...and "Tip of the Day"..

Well Sir...thought I'd just post a few humorous photygraffs...one of which ya gotta look close to see whats going on in the picture.....

Teachers Help

The Urinal Is Too High

A group of 3rd, 4th and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack (Churchill Downs) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other. The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one helping to direct the flow away from their clothes. As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed.

Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade?"

"No, ma'am," he replied. "I'm the jockey riding Silver Arrow in the seventh.

TIP O THE DAY: Avoid having oral sex with a person who has been drinkin and has Epilepsy...

Five great reasons t'play Golf.....

Well Sir....let me give a big ol Cookshack

Hat Tip: to Nikki Galante frum Cicero, NY fer sendin me this....thanks amiga....

Hey Fits....ain't that you in the Golf Cart in the last photygraff...???

...but this first photygraff very strongly illustrates what happens when ya mess with the bull..

I'm cringin while I'm postin this.... somthin fer all you Testicle Connoisseur's out thar..

Well Sir...I gotta thank my good ol amiga, Missy Buster out in Chanute, Kansas fer this here...er...ah...recipe?

Now Missy Buster...knowin ya like I do...I just knows that you was just a laughin, gigglin and a snortin the whole time you was sendin me this here..questionable delight..

By the way...give my regrets...er...I mean regards to yur hubby John fer me....

Crabby Bull's Balls

2 pounds bull testicles
1 cup flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
1 cup red wine
salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste
Louisiana Hot Sauce
hog lard (cooking oil can be substituted)

Split the tough skin-like muscle that surrounds each "oyster." (use a sharp knife) You can also remove the skin easily if the "oysters" are frozen and then peeled while thawing. Set into a pan with enough salt water to cover them for one hour to remove some of the blood and drain.

Transfer to large pot. Add enough water to float "oysters" and a generous tablespoon of vinegar. Parboil, drain and rinse. Let cool and slice each "oyster" into 1/4 inch thick ovals. Sprinkle salt and pepper on both sides of sliced "oyster" to taste.

Mix flour, cornmeal and some garlic powder to taste in a bowl. Roll each slice into this dry mixture. Dip into milk. Dip into dry mixture. Dip into wine quickly (repeat the procedure for a thicker crust).
Place into hot cooking oil.

Add Louisiana Hot Sauce to cooking oil (it'll sizzle some, so be careful!). Cook until golden brown or tender, and remove with a strainer (the longer they cook, the tougher they get).

I'm still squeezin my legs t'gether and wince'n....

Cookie....

Avast maties.. Thar be a plague ship on the horizon..Man yur Battle Stations..

Aye mates...her name be the Black Pearl...and she's blighted good she is...carryin all sorts of nasty liberal diatribe...

...Fer instance...her skipper, a man well noted fer sailin the Liberal Lee's and the Moonbat Sea's...said that the lives of all the military members or her Home Country that were lost in previous battles for Freedom and Democracy..." WERE WASTED... "

Aye maties...makes me sick it does...and this ship will eventually make our own beautiful , free country even sicker....

So take heed me hardies....steer clear of her...or sink her where she sails....

Send this infected, scurvy ridden scow and her skipper, Captain Obama....right t'the bottom......

...and with respect....I now call upon the Admiralty of the Pirate Armada to activate all our fine ships and prepare fer battle..... GENERAL QUARTERS....

It's the "Cookshack's" 1st B'Day......

Well Sir...it almost slipped by me t'day...but I just recalled that it was one year ago today (or thereabouts)...that I posted my first post....

In that time...the Cookshack has gotten about 17,500 hits...somethin I gotta thank all a my bloggin buddies fer...and especially...my "Blog-Father"...THE DREAD PUNDIT BLUTO....

I happen to know Bluto personally...and one day he sent me an E-mail that I completely disagreed with....so...I sent him an E-mail back with my counter-point....

He responded by stating that since I felt so strongly about the issue...that I should start my own Blog....

I thought he was bustin my balls...but...turns out he was serious and frum that point on...the Cookshack came inta existence....

THANKS BLUTO....

"Shrinkage"...Buzzin Undies... an exhausted Guinea Pig... and OUCH!!!..

Well Sir...this here Cookie thought y'all might just get a kick outta these here news stories....

HAT TIP: Sue frum Eagle Lake, Texas...thanks amiga....

The perils of playin the "Pipes"....

Well Sir...yesterday I learned that my buddy "Lem" over at Hillbilly White Trash was learnin how t'play the Bag-Pipes".....

Now Sir...this old Cookie used t'play the Pipes many years back...and a course...marched in a parade or two....but I ain't gonna tells ya which one of these "Butt's" might be mine...but it does answer the age old question now don't it....

Cookie....

Here be anuther glimpse of upstate New York...

Well Sir...let see how long these here photygraffs stay around....Blogger somehow "lost" or took off, the last pix I put up...

...anybody want some extra snow...???

Anuther HEADS-UP fer all you Vets....

Well Sir...fer all you old Vietnam Vets (an any other good patriotic folks), try to get there if'n ya can to keep the Wall from being desecrated....

...and If'n ya need more info...get on over to Bill's Bites...

Sunday Sundries...... a question fer other blogger's.. and a joke...

Well Sir...here be somemore artwurk done by...of all things...CRAYONs...wow....

...and...is any other blogger out thar who uses the NEW "Blogspot" having trouble with his/her posted pictures disappearin frum yur posts????

My Daddy, the dancer

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up -- fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. Little Justin, however, was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."