Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sunday Sundries....

Borrowed these first 3 pictures frum "JungleMom"....each one has its own message.


...and here be some appropriate Bumper Stickers fer me and "The Chief"...


Believe it or not, this doll is outselling the new Elmo doll...**Sigh**....


Hmmm, any number of potential humorous captions fer this one. If'n ya feel like it, leave yur caption in the "comment section", and use a little decorum mates...

_________________________________ move Sherlock...really...a cool move...


Now Sir...this new game makes a great stockin stuffer.....

________________________________ this don't look good at all...No Sir...not good at all....


Uh Oh! This is gonna hurt her chances fer 2012....


Saturday Sundries....

UPDATE: How to be romantic with yur wife.....NOT!


This is TOO good!

In 2007, 5 million of our older Americans had Not signed up in the given time,
For their Medicare, Part D, drug plan--

They are old and confused.

YET they were NOT Granted an extension.

However, the 12 million illegal aliens in our
Country were allowed to stay, protest, procreate, receive support monies, attend schools, Avoid paying income taxes, Have our teachers take 300 hours of Spanish as a Second Language And training at our expense, etc.



Let us see how the government will
Handle the program for the 2009
Year for our senior citizens.

If it ticks you off, pass it on!!

OH! Don't forget to pay your taxes.
12 million illegal aliens
Are depending on you! !!





Some "Motivational" posters


...and of course...the end result!


The "Grandpa Phone"...

Gotta thank "FishinMagician" fer some of the above funnies....

Friday, December 19, 2008

The TSA truth comes out.....and... "Christmas in a Beer Joint"

Havin once wurked fer the most dysfunctional government agency in this country, The TSA, I can really relate to the fact that some of the folks they been hire'n lately aren't exactly the brightest bulbs on the tree....

....and here be a little sumthin fer "Gert" over across the pond...

"Christmas in Beer Joint"



Havin more damnedable problems with Blogger. Just lost two hours work because I can't save articles. Sonofabitch!!!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

A Traditional Irish Breakfast fer me wife....

Well was my wife and myself's 42 Anniversary, have'n been hitched on this date in 1966, so, t'celerbrate, I decided to surprize me Irish lass of a wife with a real, traditional Irish Breakfast (she's been t'Ireland so she knows what they are). I had found a great Irish Food store on-line and placed my order about 2 weeks ago.

So, fer the breakfast, I prepared and cooked "Rashers" which is a type of bacon, White Pudding, Black Pudding, Irish Sausages, Scones, a toasted Wheaten bread and fried eggs...WOW! Talk about a high salt content...but what the hell, this only comes once a year so we'll just take some "water pills" tomorrow.

For those of you not familiar with Irish food, "Rashers" are somewhat similar to Canadian Bacon..BUT, the trick is to cook them until they are nicely browned..AND chewy. Do not overcook as past experience has taught me that they do not taste good when crispy.

Now Sir, some of Y'all might be askin, "What is Black and White Pudding?" Well, some of ya might just wanna stop readin right c'here. Black Pudding is really called "Blood Pudding" and is made from various pig components...and...Pig's blood. White Pudding is pork based (and has NO blood), and contains several different fillers. BOTH ARE VERY DELICIOUS!! If you serve the Black Pudding someday to an unfamiliar guest and they inquire "Whats this made of?", don't tell em! It might put em off their appetite. The Irish sausages are also very delicious and are pork based. Cook the Puddings and the Sausages in a "Knob" of good Irish butter...and the key is to cook GENTLY. BTW, most grocery stores now carry real Irish Butter. Also, add a quartered Tomato to the fryin pan with the cooking Puddings, and Sausages and cook that till browned. Let me tell y'all, the flavors meld very nicely.

Fry your eggs in the remaining butter with the Puddings, Sausages and Tomato...Mmmmmm Mmm!

And then, while all this is a cookin, warm up some good Irish beans and place those on the plate as well

Toast the scones and the Wheaten Bread....and ENJOY!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Mohawk Chieftan goes swimmin, An African Laxative, and Ya can't fix stupid!

...BUT be an example of an African Laxative about to work...

....and...This c'here's proof that, like Ron White always says, "Ya just Cain't Fix Stupid"....


Well Sir...this amazin video has been goin around the internet as of late and was sent to me by several good folks, "Charlie The Cop" frum Chicago and "FishinMagician" frum out Buffalo way.

Now Sir...this old Sailor's been to sea many times, both as a Navy man and 5 various cruises throughout the world, and, although I've seen many, many schools of Dolphins (and swum with them in the Sargasso Sea), I've Never seen anything like this stampede. It aroused my curiosity so much as to why this occurred when it did, and after a little investigation, I learned that "The Mohawk Chieftan" had just gotten in the water (for the first time in several months) at the beach behind the Dolphins. The cause of the stampede now becomes obvious....


Some real Caulk Comedy...

Well Sir...fer those of you who havent't "Winterized" yur house be some real valid and good tips fer some a you guys(and women-folk) out there.....

THANKS "FishinMagician".....

More funnies in the below Post.....

Wednesday Wanks....

The ULTIMATE in Women's Body Piercing...

Biggest turn on for guys!

Men all over the country are urging their wives and sweethearts to get this 'chic'

The going rate on the east coast now exceeds $10,000. Many men feel it is well worth the investment (beats the Stock Market...that's fer sure).

Gotta THANK my buddy "FishinMagician" frum up Buffalo way fer that one....

Well Sir...its about 5:30 AM, and outside its snowing & blowing t'beat the band. Yupper, this here storm came in from out the midwest way directly frum "The Mohawk Chieftan's" direction. Ain't No doubt he sent it here cause he told me he went outside yesterday and let loose with the longest, biggest and smelliest fart he could muster up, thus, affectin & influencin Global Warming, thereby exacerbating the weather conditions....

Now Sir...speakin of large amounts of Methane Gas bein added to the atmosphere (somethin all those supposed experts says helps cause Global Warmin), here in the Land of Taxes...New York State, we've actually had legislation proposed through our fine and vastly intelligent NYS Representatives to start taxing Farmers $175.00 per cow to help fight Global Warmin.

There are Soooo many comments that can be made regardin this here farce and the "Gas-Bags" that proposed it...I'll leave the comment to y'all....

Well Sir....some "Blago" toons are in fashion right here be some...


....and now...a little sumthin fer the guys out there...


Hmmm....Well Sir, Now fer a drastic change of pace frum the above photygraffs. The truth be known, I think if'n I wasn't a drinker back in 1919 when this c'here photygraff was taken, I probably woulda become one after see'in it...simply as a matter of self-protection.


Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?" Mabel answered, "I have a suppository in my ear?" She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, "Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid."


When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.

No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea." Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was."


An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000! . ! please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."


A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out,

"Watch that wall!"


When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee."

I said, "Well, then why are you crying?" She said, "He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon."

I said, "Well, why are you crying?" She said, "For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to m! e ! until 2:00 a.m." I said, "Well, why in the world would you be crying?"

She said, "I can't remember where I live!"


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me....I know we've been friends for a long time.....but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.

Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"


Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Thanks "MightyMom"....