Thursday, November 12, 2009

Some Cookshack PotPourri


And you're worried about squirrels getting into your bird feeder?!?!


This letter was sent to the Lions Bay School Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Lions Bay School,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the West Vancouver Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone and I want to thank you for the kindness shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to fuck off.

Thank you for that opportunity.



The Old Man and the Ring

An elderly, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young blonde at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his new girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," he said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By check. I know you need to make sure my check clears so I'll write it now, and you can call the bank on Monday morning to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon," he said..

On Monday morning, the jeweler 'phoned the old man and said, "Sir, there's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man, "but let me tell you about my weekend!"

"All Seniors Aren't Senile...!"

Man, times are really get'n tough, especially fer car companies....


Gotta THANK John Keating, "North Country Nicki" and "Chicago Charlie" fer t'days humor.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The Warrior Song.

My old pal John Keating sent me this today, "The Warrior Song". I guess if'n yur an old warrior you'll probably like this. I do and I think you will as well.


WTF!! If'n this don't piss Y'all off, absolutely nuthin will !!!

Forget about the dead 3 year old child, where's my food stamps?

"Charlie The Cop" frum out Chi-Town way sent me this, and now if you'll excuse me, I have to take some more blood pressure medication.

If you've ever doubted the moral decay of our society, the "dumbing down of America" and complete loss of our "Moral Compass", watch this. BTW, this is the kind of oxygen waste'n piece of whale shit that wants Government Health Care and anything else free that they can get their hands on. Next time some liberal Senator or Representative is spouting their diatribe about enacting some "entitlement program" or another, think of this poor excuse of a human being.

I gotta say this though, although I'm a staunch pro-life person, this woman makes a very strong case for being someone who shoulda been aborted way back.

OK, now that I've vented that ire, on to more pertinent issues of the day.

I hope all you Vet's out there have a wonderful and prosperous Veterans Day. Thanks ALL of you for your service to our great country.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Time fer some "Uncle Jay explains the News."

This week....

Last week....

I couldn't help but notice that he always talks about helping "little minds" understand whats happen'n. I think he's talk'n bout liberals...


....and, "North Country Nicki" asks this puzzling legal question...

Is this statutory rape???

Or is It just a moosedemeanor....

I imagine he's probably think'n, "Man woman! You is one frigid Moose!!"

Monday, November 09, 2009

Monday Mania.

Hmmm, never thought about this before....

Waffles have a tough life.


Well Sir, I'm sure any of my regular readers have heard me talk about my good neighbor "Clem". Well Sir, last summer (what little we had of it), Clem had some home video's shot of himself "Turtle hunt'n" in a few of our local ponds.

Kidd'n aside, although we may laugh and mock "Clem" about his redneck ways and mannerisms, I don't care what y'all say, just look how happy the man is. He's not caught up in all the political bullshit and problems of this world today. **Sigh**, I guess ignorance IS bliss...

Hey "Chief", here be sumthin y'all might be interested in mate!!



A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled,

"You Can Be the Man of Your House."

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on,
you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm done eating
my meal, you will serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you
are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex
that I want!”

“Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe..

Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress
me and comb my hair?"

The wife replied, "The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess."

Gotta give a big H/T to John Keating from out Michigan way fer that one.