Sunday sundries....

Being Sunday, lets start with some "Cute Critters"...

________________________________

An English speaking cab driver in India.

My good neighbors Cletus and his brother Cletus (he's the friendly one) recently went to India to see Bollywood hoping to see Dolly Parton, and while there they saw a sign on the back of a Taxi that said : "English speaking Taxi driver."

Cletus (he's the smart one) told me they thought, "What a great idear, why don't we have them back in our country?"

Now sir, although they may be slow at times (thanks to the fact that their older brother Cletus is also their father and uncle) but sometimes they do come up with a good idea every now and agin. BTW, their older sister, Clecia is also their mother/sister.

**COOKIE'S NOTE**  Truth. Back in the day when Cookie was an Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselor in one of New York State's very rural and sparsely populated counties, Oswego County, one of the things every counselor had to do during an initial evaluation was a family "Geno-gram".  A geno-gram is basically a drawing with names and connecting lines showing all the family members and how they are related to each other. On one occasion, I had a client who had family relationships very much like those facetiously described above. His father was in fact his older brother who'd had sexual relationships with his mother and the old sister had sexual relationships with their father thus producing his "brother".BTW, the brother and sister had been fool'n around also, thus resulting in yet another sibling. Now Sir, after I got done adding all the Grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, WOW, my geno-gram wound up looking like a plate of tangled spaghetti. It should also be noted that as a cop, I also ran into incestuous families several times. They didn't have a "Gene Pool", theirs was much more like a very shallow gene puddle.

One of my regular readers and feller blogger,  "Signal 94",  whom I worked with for many years, also had far too many dealings with this inbred family of complete thieves, idiots and nere'do'wells.

Also, you should know that snowfall totals for many small towns and villages in Oswego County are off the charts in that they receive very heavy "Lake Effect Snow" off Lake Ontario. In February of this year the small town of Redfield, NY officially had over 310 inches of snow on the ground AT THAT TIME. I can't wait to see what the entire seasonal snow fall will be for Redfield.

Hmmmm, I wunder if'n there be a connection between those long hard winters and all the reported familial incest in that county??

Now Sir, in other news, yesterday, at The Oswego County Fair at the cattle judging contest.....

__________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Sig 94" said; " Cookie - the Bidwells were the most famous of the inbred niners. There were a few other familes (all originally up from Redfield way and thereabouts) but none as well known as the Bidwells - especially the brothers Albert and Emmet. I think their sister also had kids by both her brothers. I had more dealings with Emmet as he lived right on Merriman and Albert lived in 68 territory."

COOKIE said; THAT'S IT! The Bidwells. Couldn't recall their names, although after all the dealings we had with that family I shoulda remembered. I recall one time, Mike M. and myself, in a very obvious unmarked police car with the police radio blaring, parked next to the sidewalk, sat there and watched as one of them physically stole (robbery) a bike from a 10 year old kid who was crying his eyes out. The incident happened only about 10 feet from Mike as he watched in disbelief, and Bidwell looked at Mike (who was sitting in the passenger seat) and said " if you call the police I'll hunt you down and kill you." DUH!! Unbelievably stupid.
Thanks "Sig"!

Saturday sundries....

BOMBS AWAY!!! This is about the only action that Obama will ever take against Ghadafi, if he does anything at all. The man is simply all talk, and no action, and every country in the world knows it and laughs at the fool (and us as well for having elected this inept, procrastinating fool to office). Just look back at all the various statements and ultimatums he has made in different world situations and you'll see what I'm talk'n about. When, if ever will Obozo and all his little appointed Bozo's realize that folks are not stupid?

This is one of the few WWII aircraft that Cookie has never had a ride in or sat "Right Seat" fer a spell. Who knows what type of aircraft this is?
____________________________

____________________________________

Ya just gotta love British honesty and humor

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.

8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES. 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY ! Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE. Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.


Statement of the Century
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a husband?
_________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Cookie, I first thought B25, but the plane in the pic doesn't have the twin tail. So, B26?
And that Illinois: where Dems go to hide out...is very nice. I think it applies to Dems other than those in Wisconsin, I think that in 2012 the Dem in the White House will be going back there to hideout too."

COOKIE said; Yupper Dan, a Martin B-26 Marauder. I've only ever seen one in my life and that was back when I was a young'n, maybe 10 or 12 years old and at the old "Hancock Field" here in Syracuse, NY, back when a goodly part of it was an Air Force Base.

"The Chief" said; "Cookie! Cookie! Is it a B-26? Huh? I always get my "B's" a little mixed up: 24-26. I preferred the B-25's the most. I guess it's because of Billy Mitchell and the old "Thirty Seconds Over Tokyo" movie; I was brainwashed, don'tcha know?"

COOKIE said; Yupper, that it is mate. The first book I ever read from cover to cover was "Thirty Seconds over Tokyo", and like you have always had a fascination with the Mitchell B-25. BTW, I've flown out of Billy Mitchel field up your way in Wisconsin.

Have Amelia and Noonan been found? A Quiz. Important Heads-Up for Vets. Irish Stew Recipe fer t'day, St. Paddy's Day.

But First, an important Heads-Up for ALL Veterans.

Subject: WARNING TO ALL VETERANS - Concerning "Veterans Affairs Services"

--- On Tue, 3/15/11, PatriotSupport@aol.com wrote:

From: PatriotSupport@aol.com
Subject: WARNING TO ALL VETERANS - Concerning " Veterans Affairs Services"

Date: Tuesday, March 15, 2011, 7:45 PM

Team, If you are a Veteran, have friends, family members who are Veterans, please share the information with them, to help protect them too. These criminals, are very well versed, and convincing. Help protect all our Veterans. Sherri

(Sent from Will)
WARNING TO VETERANS
Forwarded by Kevin Secor, VSO Liaison, Office of the Secretary of the Department of Veterans Affairs.

An organization called Veterans Affairs Services (VAS) is providing benefit and general information on VA and gathering personal information on veterans. This organization is not affiliated with VA in any way.

Websites with the name "vaservices"immediately after the "www" ARE NOT part of the Department of Veterans Affairs, the US

Government agency. Do not go to them or if approached or called, do not offer them any information concerning yourself or data on other veterans. Keep in mind that the real VA website ends in .gov.

**Also, be aware that the Department of Veterans Affairs does not randomly call veterans, nor does it ask veterans for information which it does not already have--like Social Security Numbers. In particular, if you have not dealt with the VA previously--and in person--and all of a sudden, you receive a call from someone saying they are with the VA or something similar sounding, hang up the phone. Also, do not respond to emails which suggest that they are from the VA. The VA never conducts official business nor asks for personal information by email. **

VAS may be gaining access to military personnel through their close resemblance to the VA name and seal. Our Legal Counsel has requested that we coordinate with DoD to inform military installations, particularly mobilization sites, of this group and their lack of affiliation or endorsement by VA to provide any services.

In addition, GC requests that if you have any examples of VAS acts that violate chapter 59 of Title 38 United States Code, such as VAS employees assisting veterans in the preparation and presentation of claims for benefits, please pass any additional information to Mr. Daugherty at the address below.

Michael G. Daugherty
Staff Attorney
Department of Veterans Affairs
Office of General Counsel (022G2)
810 Vermont Avenue, NW
Washington, DC 20420

Cookie's NOTE: It should also be noted that I attempted to verify this e-mail itself at 2 "Truth/Fiction" sites and could find nothing, HOWEVER, I did find a website named Veterans Affairs Services, and it does state that it IS NOT affiliated with the United States Government.

To be safe, I personally would not have any dealings with this site in that it very well might be an elaborate "phishing Scheme".
_________________________________

Cookie, like a great many other folks, just loves an unsolved mystery. That's why I loved Detective work so much. Below is a link to a new 11 minute YouTube video regarding the archaeological search team that have found many very promising items and bones that may have once been those of Earhart and Fred Noonan, her navigator. This is a relatively new video and is chocked full of very interesting and excellent photos of the many items found on Nikumaroro Isl, about ??? nautical miles from Howland's Isl, Earhart's last destination before she was last heard of.

**See below map as to their geographical location to each other.**  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZDWOqPZ23A

_______________________________

Quiz.

1) Approximately how many miles are there between Nikumaroro Isl. and Howland's Isl?

2) Why does the location of Nikumaroro Island lend itself to the possibilty that this is where Earhart and Noonan spent their last day?

3) Were partial skeletal remains ever found on Nikumaroro Isl, and if so, by whom and when?

4) If human skeletal remains are still on this island, where (specifically) might they be located even to this day?

5) What item was located that might have belonged to navigator Fred Noonan?

Good luck mates!
__________________________________

Traditional Shamrock Stew Recipe Photo by: Taste of Home
100% would make again

You don't have to be Irish to enjoy this savory stew. Homemade dumplings make it extra special.

This recipe is: Contest Winning

8 Servings. Prep time: 20 min. Cook: 1-1/4 hours.

Ingredients;

1/4 cup all-purpose flour
3/4 teaspoon salt, optional
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1-1/2 to 2 pounds beef top round steak, cut into 1-inch cubes
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 can (8 ounces) Hunt’s® Tomato Sauce
2 cups water
1 large onion, sliced
1 teaspoon dried marjoram
1 bay leaf
1 pound carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces
1 package (10 ounces) frozen peas

DUMPLINGS:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 cup milk
1 egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley, optional

OR

Do like Cookie does and use Bisquick.

Directions;

In a large bowl, combine flour, salt if desired and pepper; set aside 2 tablespoons. Add meat to bowl and toss to coat.

In a Dutch oven (preferably Cast Iron if'n y'all have one) or large soup kettle, over medium heat, cook the meat in oil until no longer pink; drain. Stir in tomato sauce, water and reserved flour mixture. Add onion, marjoram and bay leaf; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Add carrots; cover and simmer for 45 minutes. Stir in peas. Cover and simmer for 15 minutes for until the vegetables are tender. Remove bay leaf.

For dumplings, in a large combine flour and baking powder. Stir in milk, egg, oil and parsley if desired. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto simmering stew. Cover and cook for 12-14 minutes or until done. Do not lift the cover.

Serve immediately. Yield: 8 servings.
___________________________

_______________________________

COMMENTS:

"Vigilis" said; "1) About 420 NM, but I am no navigator.
2) Because Earhart had said she was flying on a “157/337” line and such a line passing through Howland also passes in visual range of Gardner per chart.
3) British records document discovery in 1940 of the partial skeleton of a castaway who perished while attempting to survive on Nikumaroro sometime prior to the island’s settlement in 1939. in 1946 a “native” had Coast Guardsman Floyd Kilts of finding human bones and a “woman’s shoe, American kind” on the island.
4) A place near the southeast end of the island, associated with fire, bird, and turtle bones in the so-called Seven Site.
5) With the bones were found a sextant box bearing a stencilled number that is similar to a number written on a sextant box known to have belonged to Fred Noonan".

COOKIE said; Spot on Vigilis, excellent research. The answer to the #4 question is indeed correct, in a broader sense than what I wanted. Where, in and around the "Seven Site" might the bones still be discovered. Has to do with certain critters on the island.

"ABNPOPPA" said; "Cookie, An interesting recipe to say the least. Thanks for adding me to your blog roll. You are also listed on my now as a place to go for good Grub & Gab."

"Dapper Dan" said; "I second what you said about Vigilis' research. Well done. The Earhart case has always interested me. Will you be tackling Judge Crater and Jimmy Hoffa now that this one is almost solved?"

COOKIE said; LOL, I doubt I'll be tackling the Hoffa case any time soon. Back in the day, I knew some of the "bent nose" crowd and from what I've heard (and it has to be taken with a HUGE grain of salt, pun intended as you'll see), Hoffa's body will never be found because....

..are ya ready....

he was probably devoured as sausage. That was the word back then. Butchered, ground up and served up as sausage meat, so if'n ya had some Italian sausage fer breakfast or in yur spagetti back then, and it gave you more heartburn than usual you mighta had a real case of "Italian ageda".

Sometimes this is the only thing that works with a Bully (short video). Another quiz.

When Cookie was growing up back in High School, like practically all schools, ours had our share of Bully's, and one particularly nasty one named "Noah".

Now Sir, I stood 5'11" and weighed in at about 180 back then. I preferred not to fight if possible, so I intentionally walked away from a few situations were Noah and his buddies were looking to mix it up. Of course Noah and his crew thought me to be a coward, or weak, however, there came an evening were Noah and friends saw a different side of me.

After having been confronted on the street by this crew, and eventually being shoved and swung at, I responded with the same pent up rage as that of "Ralphy" in the movie "Christmas Story". I've always really loved and related to that scene.

After I literally beat (and kicked), the living daylights out of Noah and one of his loyal minions, they limped off into the night licking there wounds. After that evening, Noah not only gave me a wide berth but was eventually friendlier than hell with me from there on out. Most often, the only thing a bully respects is PAIN!

Cookie has a grand-son with Aspergers Syndrome, a form of autism. He's a big hefty lad weighing in at near 200 pounds. Like most folks with Aspergers, he wouldn't harm a fly...TRUTH! When he was in High School a few years back, like most poor kids with disabilities of some kind, he was being bullied by several assholes in the school. Some kids can be very cruel. One day he told me about what what happening to him and he asked me what I thought he should do.

I told him that violence should always be the last resort, but there are times when dealing with Bully's that it becomes necessary. I showed him a few police moves that although painful, were harmless. I instructed him to only use these when it became absolutely necessary, otherwise the bullying would simply continue.

You guessed it, there came a day when he fought back and, long story short, was never bullied again throughout the remained of High School. 

Someone just sent me this video of a kid who was being bullied and looked a lot like my grandson did when he was a little older than this kid.

Watch this bully get the shit kicked out of him with just one move. If you look at the video closely I think the bully's ankle may have been broken, or at least badly sprained. I'm certain he'll never bother the other lad ever again. As my grand-daddy woulda said, "I love it when an asshole gets their 'come-upins.'"  

GOOD FER YOU KID, GOOD FER YOU!!!


_____________________________________



Quiz:

1) Who/What were "The Molly Maguires?

2) Who stared in the movie?

3) What state were The Molley Maguires active in?

4) Where, and approximately when did The Molly's originate?

"Bob Winston" said; "** I'm trying to reach back on old memory of watching this Movie only once (long ago) and only partially... Movie Name "the Molly Maguires"... Ans. #1, Coal miners (?)... #2, Richard Harris... #3, Pennsylvania (?)... #4, Ireland.... When... (Guess) early 1900's... That's my best guesses... See 'ya... Bob **

COOKIE said; All of the answers are correct except for one. See if you can figure out which one Bob.

Hey Dad! What's fer breakfast? Hobo Skillet!

I was recently visiting over at that old cranky curmudgeon, "The Chief", and he had posted an article about a meal he had in a diner recently, HOBO SKILLET. It got me to think'n bout sumthin I used to make many years back when all four youngin's was a grow'n up.

I broke our my recipe collection and sure nuff, there it was Hobo Skillet. Now, I'm not sure if its exactly the same thing "The Chief" had but they sure do look alike. Here be the recipe if'n ya don't mind eat'n a real cholesterol bomb! 

Hobo Skillet

Prep Time: 15 min

Cook Time: 15 min

Serves: 4 servings

Ingredients
• 12 ounces country style bulk sausage OR sliced link sausage.
• 3/4 cup chopped yellow or Vadelia onions
• 1/2 cup sliced fresh mushrooms, and 1/2 cup sliced green pepper
• 4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 3 cups fresh hash browns OR 3 cups uncooked home fries.
• 6 scrambled eggs OR 3 fried eggs-over easy.
• 1 to 1 1/2 cup(s) shredded Cheddar cheese.

Directions

In a large skillet over medium-high heat, brown the sausage, drain most, but not all of the fat.

Add onions, mushrooms and sliced peppers and cook until tender, set aside in a separate bowl.

In the same skillet, add the oil and hash browns/home fries over medium-high heat and cook until golden brown on 1 side. Once golden brown add the scrambled eggs, mushroom, peppers & onion mixture. Scramble together until desired consistency and top with cheese.

**NOTE-** A Variation: Like in the above photo, Cookie prefers NOT to use scrambled eggs. After I've added the mushroom, pepper & onion mixture to the cooked sausage and hash browns/home fries, I remove from skillet while its still hot and place it into a bowl and top with the shredded cheese and stir around long enough for cheese to melt through the hot mixture. Then I place servings on plates top each serving with 2 or 3 recently fried eggs (OVER-EASY--that way the yoke soaks through the entire dish).

Cover with a lid until cheese melts and serve.
_____________________________________________

**SIGH** A mothers wurk is never done....


_________________________________

Quiz!

Watch short video first. BTW, Cookie actually saw a few of these Constellations while growing up, even flew on one when I was a real young'n (that gives ya an idear how old this type of plane was).



1) What is the name of the theme being played in the Video?

2) Who was the main star of the Movie?

3) Which Airline had the most of this type of aircraft?
__________________________________

Yupper, my kinda Cops!

Actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….

16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”
_____________________________________

COMMENTS:

"Deke" said; Now that is a breakfast.

"Northwoods Doc" said; "The High and Mighty starring John Wayne - TWA

"Dapper Dan" said; "Man, that hobo skillet is mouth watering delicious. We've got to try that!

The movie them is "The High and Mighty." The star was John Wayne (I knew it, but confess I checked wiki to make sure). I would guess Pan Am or TWA, but since I need to go with one, I'll say TWA. The Constellation was one of the most beautiful airplanes ever manufactured. I saw one land at Berry Field in Nashville when I was a kid. In 2005, we took a trip to the Grand CAnyon and on the road leading to it, stopped at an air museum. They had a "Connie" outside and the guides explained that it was the one that was MacArthur's personal ride for awhile before Pres. Truman fired him."

COOKIE said;  Well looks like we got two folks who got the quiz spot on. Good on ya both mates! Guess I'll have to begin making the quiz's a touch more difficult.

"The Chief" said; " Heck, I dunno, but I'll guess: 1. "The High and the Mighty"; 2. John Wayne; 3. TWA. What do I win?"

COOKIE said; Hey, we've got yet another winner. BTW Chief, you winn my respect and admiration!

Paddy's Award, a food review and a few jokes.

Paddy O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wonderful wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

Paddy thought about it and finally said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, Paddy!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of Paddy's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Paddy won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

Paddy is now look'n fer a new Pub t'hang out in.
_________________________________

Results of The Traditional Irish Lamb Stew!

A few posts back I posted a recipe (that I hadn't tried yet) from "Taste of Home" magazine for Traditional Irish Lamb Stew.

I made it this date, Sunday, and its very easy to see why it was rated in that publication as a 5 STAR recipe! It was outstanding!

I would however make three small changes for the next time I make (and there will definately be a next time), first, add 2 tsp's of salt instead on one, second, add 3/4 tsp pepper, and third, 1/2 tsp dill.

Other than those minor changes, it was very delicious and enjoyable.
_______________________________

Irish golfer


A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his
drive into the woods. Looking for his ball,
he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back,
a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball
beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
the cart and poured it over the little guy,
reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.
'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.
'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whadd ya want?'


'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer
answers in relief. 'I don't want anything,
I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'

And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself.
I have to do something for him. I'll give him
the three things I would want... a great golf game,
all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back.
On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into
the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,
' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye,
how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers.
I'm an internationally famous golfer now.'
He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're
all right'

'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer
golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money
situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states.
'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket
and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.'
And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment,
and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun,
'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job.
How many times aweek?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,
'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock.
'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a
Catholic priest in a small parish.
_____________________________________

The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.

It is half black, half white, and everything he does STINKS!
___________________________________

A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

It was their 50th Anniversary

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one, "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we each worked two jobs and were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," said the father. " And cheap ones too ."
_________________________________________

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady

At the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells

Her that her hair smells nice.


After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her

Complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks

To file a sexual harassment grievance against him.

The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks:

"What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"







The woman replies, "It's Frank. The midget."
_______________________________

COMMENTS:

"Dapper Dan" said; "Gotta watch those little guys. They do have certain advantages!

"Dapper Dan" said;  "I was laughing so hard at the midget joke I forgot to comment on the others. I liked 'em all, especially Paddy's toast. Glad the Irish stew turned out good. Joyce and I wanna try that when she's felling better. "