Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Company begs Tiger to endorse their product! How to remove an embedded fish hook.

Because I'm still having many problems with both my computer (after the virus I caught) and my comment section, this will be a very short post.


Any of you fishermen out there who have ever gotten a fish hook stuck into yur hand, or any other part of yur body can relate to this. I know I can. However, I've never had such a large hook stuck in me.

How a real man has a fish hook removed...


Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Even back then...

Well Sir, that erasable, yet lovable old jarhead, "The Chief" sent me this apropos set of photygraffs and commentary.

This is very interesting, scroll down through the three pictures...

the last one is right on target.

...and remember, this guy died over a hundred years ago!!

"You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it."

I will make one correction or concession if you will, to his final epitaph and that is this. He stated that "all the misfortunes of our nation have come through the Democratic Party.", and although there is a basketful of truth to that statement, I would change the words "Democratic Party" to "politicians"...period. I do not like, in any way, shape, form or manner, the Democratic party and its beliefs, platforms and policies, and with what is happening to America today because of Obama and his merry band of inept (Janet Napolitano as just one example) czars, henchmen and self-serving lying crooks, that the bulk of his statement regarding Democrats is true, but lets be honest, the Republicans have had their fair share of inept idiots and ne'er-do-wells.

A great remedy fer Constipation.....

(Y'all might have to Click to Enlarge)


Monday, January 04, 2010

Monday Mania...

Voted The Top Ten Country Western Songs of 2009.

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With A Few
8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'
6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win
5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She's Lookin' Better with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song fer 2009 is...

**1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day!**



The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, "I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible golf cart wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him."

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced..

"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.

"Now," she announced in a quavering voice, thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.

He said, "I'm Tom."

The entire congregation held its breath.

"I just want to tell my wife that the correct word is 'sternum'."


Bubba and Billy Joe are walking down the street, and they see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each. Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Joe, Look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to Ft Payne sell 'em and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin', 'cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and not wanna sell that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Ohio drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Ohio drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and....."

"The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba. "How come ya'll knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry-cleaners."

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Just a brief, but accurate post. Anuther winter's day in Upstate, NY

My buddy "Patrick" sent this here sign found in the mensroom at one of the Washington's airports.

I saw this handwritten sign
posted over one of those
hot air hand dryers:

"Please push button and listen
for a short message
from the President!"

There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of fresh crap to give you that feeling of being in the presence of "The One"!!!!

Ah Yes, just anuther winters day in Upstate, NY