Saturday, January 22, 2011

Here's sumthin Y'all need t'know! Now THIS is a gun show!!

Progressive Insurance (Shoulda guessed this from the name Progressive)

Have you seen and smiled at the Progressive Insurance TV commercials?

Well . . . we all need to know the rest of the story:

You know their TV commercials...they’re the ones featuring the perky actress all dressed in white. What you might not know is that the Chairman of Progressive is Peter Lewis, one of the major funders of leftist causes in America .

Between 2001 and 2003, Lewis funneled $15 million to the ACLU, the group most responsible for destroying what’s left of America’s Judeo-Christian heritage. Lewis also gave $12.5 million to and American Coming Together, two key propaganda arms of the socialist left.

His funding for these groups was conditional on matching contributions from George Soros, the America-hating socialist who is the chief financier of the Obama political machine.

Lewis made a fortune as a result of capitalism, but now finances a progressive movement that threatens to destroy the American free enterprise system that is targeting television shows on Fox News.

Peter Lewis is making a fortune off of conservative Americans (who buy his auto insurance) so that he can help dismantle the very system that made him wealthy.

Be EDUCATED about who get’s your hard earned dollars!

Let’s STOP funding Progressive campaigns against America!

Peter Lewis;

DO your part and PLEASE pass this information on to your like-minded friends.

I checked this story out on two "Fact or Fiction" sites and found it to be true. Gotta thank "Brownie" frum Oswego, NY fer sending me this.

Oh, Be still my heart!! God Bless America and the Second Amendment.

From the looks of this video, this is also the site of a future lead mine.

Verrrry Interesting! From Chinese TV; "UFO contact disclosure coming shortly frum Obama."

As Arte Johnson frum Laugh-In used to say, "Verrry Interrresting!

Well Sir, I found this article from Chinese National TV stating that in the very near future Obama will begin full disclosure about UFO's and alien contact with earth. My amigo David Brown, a retired HS Biology teacher and an acquaintance of the now deceased famous astronomer Carl Sagan sent it to Cookie.

David is an AVID (to say the least) believer in UFO's and alien civilizations. Now, I must admit that I find this topic most interesting and years back, did in fact observe several UFO's in the sky across the lake which I live on, Oneida Lake. There were also many other persons who witnessed, and video taped these anomalies.

Before proceeding further let me state on fact. UFO simply means an "Unidentified Flying Object"! It DOES NOT mean extraterrestrial spacecraft or alien craft. It simply means an object that is not identifiable at that moment. These two terms (UFO and Extraterrestrial Craft) have, over the years become synonymous with one another and that is a mistake.

Since my teen and pre-teen years the UFO topic has fascinated me. I not only subscribe to the MUFON( Mutual UFO Network) Journal to keep abreast of new sightings and information, but also watch all the HISTORY Channel specials regarding "Ancient Aliens" and recent documentaries, HOWEVER, being an old detective, I require concrete and tangible proof of their existence, not just photos (that could be doctored), conjecture and anecdotal accounts (people lie).

The "Drake Equation" would suggest that there are indeed MANY civilizations out there, and when one thinks about it, given the scope and breadth of the Universe, it would egotistical and elitism for mankind to think otherwise.

There is indeed volumes of "circumstantial" evidence to suggest both past and present contact by UFO's and Alien civilizations, but like in a court of Law, one CANNOT be convicted on "circumstantial" evidence ALONE. There must be solid corroborating evidence.

Has there been government(s) coverup over these past 60 years or so since Rosewell, NM, I suspect yes, but again, where is the absolute bedrock evidence. Show me an actual captured extraterrestrial craft I can put my hands on or an Alien body (living or dead), you know, sorta like Obama's Birth Certificate.

So, if there is anything to this Chinese news report, things should get interresting over the next few months. We'll just have to wait and see.

COOKIE'S NOTE: If you have comments you'd like to make, type your comment into the "Comment Section" at the end of each post, and although I CANNOT directly post, edit or manage your comment from that area, I can still see it, and if worthy, I can copy and paste it to the article through my dashboard by hand.

Vigilis Commented:

"Cookie, over 3 decades ago, I had come to a conclusion that disclosure of an alien race would more than likely be used as a "last resort" political tool by unscrupulous leadership to retain power indefinitely and invoke unpopular (and no doubt unconstitutional measures). Also, i am not afraid of aliens and willing to fight for our rights.

In recent years world governments acting in concert through the U.N. have attempted to instill one kind of grim fear after another into the public. You must remember nuclear proliferation in the cold war, the impending Ice Age in the 50s, Global Warming (climate change currently), collapse of the U.S. dollar as the world's most stable currency, bird FLU, swine FLU, and this year's UKF (unnmaed killer flu).

The Chinese story lacks credibility. Many Chinese can speak excellent English, yet where's the translation. Where was the announcement during the recent Chinese state visit?

Now, unless the aliens in question were Harvard professors (quite possible), or were partners in a major law firm, even a 'popular' president like Obama would be out of line inviting them to the White House and trying to get a treaty worked out with them without congressional approval.

If, on the otherhand, Obama received advice from the aliens that the U.S. should disassemble its nuclear weapons, turn its sub fleets into razor blades, open its borders, offer more enitlements, impose stricter environmental regulations, takeover the foreclosed homes to give away as it sees fit, and generally turn us into an East Germany type of regime, I am looking forward to hearing his speech."


Friday, January 21, 2011

"The Deadwood Stage"

Got a couple a E-mails this morn'n that caught my attention. The first was frum me old blog mate "the Chief" frum out Illinois way and was about Deadwood So. Dakota and Stagecoaches and gold miners from that era.

The real "Calamity Jane" (Martha Jane Cannary Burke).

Hollywood's version of Calamity Jane and "The Deadwood Stage".

Historic photos of the actual "Deadwood Stagecoach", Gold minors, Deadwood So. Dakota itself, Indian fighters etc...

The town of Deadwood So. Dakota.

...and "Comanche", the ONLY survivor from Custers Last Stand.


My good friend Susan Gertson from Eagle Lake, Texas, and also an avid deer hunter herself, sent me this video this morning entitled "Thanks for Waiting". When I watched the short 30 second video I had to immediately respond with an E-mail to her because of something extremely similar that happened to Cookie while deer hunt'n back about 25-30 years ago.

Now Sir, this is the E-mail I sent back to Susan.

"Susan, when I saw this I almost fell outta my chair laughing, tell ya why.

TRUE STORY!! Really. About 30 years or so ago, I was standing in my favorite tree stand down around Cuyler Hill, NY, next to an open field when a doe came out from the woods. I had a "Doe Permit" and was about to take her when she turned around and looked back into the trees. Being an experienced hunter, I knew that this generally indicated that there was a buck back in the trees who had "pushed" her out into the open first (smart old bucks would do this, that's why they managed to get old).

I waited and sure enough this good sized 9 point buck came out and looked around. As I raised my shotgun and took aim at the buck, he mounted her. Now, they were only about 70 yards away and had no idea I was there. Damn!! Being a guy I just couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger while he was "In Flagrante dilecto". I lowered my sights and decided I would wait until he was finished.

I guess I badly misjudged 1) how long it would take him, and 2) I musta thought that after he was finished he woulda sorta stuck around and had a cigarette or two and maybe woulda exchanged phone numbers or something with her. Before I knew it, he not only finished quickly but immediately high tailed it back into the safety of the trees. It was literally "Wham, Bam, Thank You Maam".

I began mentally kicking myself in the ass for have'n been such a nice guy, and I was so pissed off, that I immediately dispatched the doe to my dinner table. Honest to God, true story so when I saw this video it was like "Deja Vue all over again" (as Yogi Berra used to say).

Lessons learned, 1) regarding me, "Nice guys finish last", and 2), regarding the buck, "Some guys finish FAST" (no surprise to women)."


...and "The Chief" commented; "I've been to Deadwood a few times; really do like it out there. The cemetery where Wild Bill Hickock & Calamity Jane lie is dug into a hillside. And, there's a guy named Potato Creek Johnny, who lies right by them. It's really neat. The old HBO tv series "Deadwood" tells the story very well; quite gritty."

Cookie; Unfortunately I missed the entire "Deadwood" series. Would have enjoyed watching that.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

This ad went viral.

My understanding from what I have read is that this ad took off and went viral almost immediately. Hmmm, wonder what that says?

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Obama's openly disrespected by Chinese President. A heads up regard'n yur cell phone photo's.

At the State Dinner that The Obama's held for the Chinese president at The White House, the Obama's (and our country) were openly disrespected by the Chinese President who kept the Obama's waiting. Don't get me wrong, if anyone SHOULD be disrespected it's Obama and ilk, however, this slight also splashed over onto all the rest of us.

There is video of the Obama's being kept waiting but it seems the "Lame-Stream" media are very busy disabling the "embed" codes so the videos can't easily be shown on the blogs (at least at this writing). The best I could find was this link.

Diss? Chinese President Keeps Obamas Waiting at State Dinner.


OK, now fer somethin "lighter".... Always enjoyed this one!!


What John Wayne wanted for his daughter. We lost one hell of a man, a patriot and a hero when "The Duke" passed on.


Gotta give a big old Cookshack THANKS to Richard frum down Kentucky way for making us all aware of this. Your cell phone pix are giving the exact location each photo is taken at, like your home, where your kids are, where ya work, where ya are at any given moment etc..


Often wundered how the Irish dance got started.....


Hmmm, nice extras...


WOW! This is the best pool shot ever made by a naked white chick.




Monday, January 17, 2011

Failed predictions from the past. Interesting.

But First.....

How cool is this!!?? The guy that invented this is goin t'be RICH!!


...and second.....

Charlie's wife Lucy had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet. Finally, he got around to doing itwhile Lucy was out. After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned.

She came in and undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat.

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts.

Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room.

The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her.

Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying,"Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before."

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them. I just never saw one mounted and framed."

Failed Predictions.

Not a joke, but somethng to think about when we close our minds to other possibilities.

–> “We will bury you.”
Nikita Krushchev, Soviet Premier, predicting Soviet communism will win over U.S. capitalism, 1958.

–> “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
Charles H. Duell, an official at the US patent office, 1899.

–> “I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.”
Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869.

–> “Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.”
Irving Fisher, economics professor at Yale University, 1929.

–> “If anything remains more or less unchanged, it will be the role of women.”
David Riesman, conservative American social scientist, 1967.

–> “It will be gone by June.”
Variety, passing judgement on rock ‘n roll in 1955.

–> “Democracy will be dead by 1950.”
John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

–> “A short-lived satirical pulp.”
TIME, writing off Mad magazine in 1956.

–> “And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam”
Newsweek, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.

–> “Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.” -– British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774.

–> “In all likelihood world inflation is over.”
International Monetary Fund Ceo, 1959.

–> “This antitrust thing will blow over.”
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

–> “Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop - because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.”
TIME, 1966, in one sentence writing off e-commerce long before anyone had ever heard of it.

–> “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist-”
Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.

–> “Our country has deliberately undertaken a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and far reaching in purpose.” -– Herbert Hoover, on Prohibition, 1928.

–> “It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister.”
Margaret Thatcher, future Prime Minister, October 26th, 1969.

–> “Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES.”
George Bush, 1988.

–> “You will be home before the leaves have fallen from the trees.” Kaiser Wilhelm, to the German troops, August 1914.

–> “This is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace for our time.” Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30th, 1938.

–> “That virus is a pussycat.” Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988.

–> “The case is a loser.” Johnnie Cochran, on soon-to-be client O.J.s chances of winning, 1994.

–> “Reagan doesn't have that presidential look.”- United Artists Executive, rejecting Reagan as lead in 1964 film The Best Man.

–> “Capitalist production begets, with the inexorability of a law of nature, its own negation.”
Karl Marx.

–> “Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.”
Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905.

–> “Man will not fly for 50 years.”
Wilbur Wright, American aviation pioneer, to brother Orville, after a disappointing flying experiment, 1901 (their first successful flight was in 1903).

–> “I am tired of all this sort of thing called science here… We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped.”
Simon Cameron, U.S. Senator, on the Smithsonian Institute, 1901.

–> “The Americans are good about making fancy cars and refrigerators, but that doesn't mean they are any good at making aircraft. They are bluffing. They are excellent at bluffing.”
Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, 1942.

–> “With over fifteen types of foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big share of the market for itself.”
Business Week, August 2, 1968.

–> “The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no limit to this fever for writing; every one must be an author; some out of vanity, to acquire celebrity and raise up a name, others for the sake of mere gain.”
Martin Luther, German Reformation leader, Table Talk, 1530s(?).

–> “Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.”
Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.

–> “There is no doubt that the regime of Saddam Hussein possesses weapons of mass destruction. As this operation continues, those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them.”
General Tommy Franks, March 22nd, 2003.

The most recent list of "The World's Shortest Books"

by Barack Obama

by Tiger Woods

by Jane Fonda, Cindy Sheehan, Michelle Obama
Illustrated by Michael Moore


by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton

by Hillary Clinton

By Bill Clinton

by Bill Gates

by Dennis Rodman

by Al Gore & John Kerry


by Dr. J. Kevorkian

by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell

by Mike Tyson


by O. J. Simpson

by Ted Kennedy
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by the
Rev. Jesse Jackson


My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy
by Nancy Pelosi


How to be Financially Responsible
by Barack Obama and the US Congress.

If'n yur plan'n a trip to Iceland any time soon....

Well Sir, every day I make it a point to visit another Submariners (Vigilis) blog named "Molten Eagle". His postings are almost always either Submarine or Navy related.

Today however, in a story definitely NOT his usual kind of posting, I found the below story. I'm pretty sure that most of y'all will either have a slight smirk on yur faces as you read this one or be shaking yur head while thinking WTF.

Before I proceed any further, I know fer sure that "The Chief" will absolutely have some ball bust'n comments and opinions regard'n the connection between this rather "unique" museum and "Squids/Bubbleheads". Even though I cannot respond (in the Comment Section), I can still read yur comments and then place them by hand at the end of the post through my dashboard.

Sorry ladies, no pix included in my post but if you hit the link back over the "Molten Eagle" and read the original story, you'll find some photo links.

Organ Donation First-of-a-Kind (at least voluntarily)

An Iceland museum, named the World’s Second Most Horrid, currently displays 209 penises in part or in whole from 46 different animal species in the native section, including 55 whale specimens and 23 specimens from 19 different animal species in the international section.

As tourist attractions go, the Icelandic Phallological [Penis] Museum outranks a mummy museum in Mexico and a museum dedicated to women’s menstruation but does not top the horror of a museum in Pennsylvania which exhibits skulls, skeletons and pictures of deformed people, according to At least not until now...

The museum’s director Sigurdur Hjartarson said, “I have the testicles from one person and the foreskin from another but I’ve been waiting for a perfect specimen for a long time. This is the only thing missing.”

Páll Arason, 95, who 14 years earlier in the interest of advancing advancing phallological knowledge had bequeathed his penis to the Icelandic Phallological Museum in Húsavík, passed away on January 5th.

The museum does not yet have a human specimen, but Araosn's will be the first of four (4) legally-certified gifts of specimens belonging to Homo Sapiens.

Doubt this is a serious museum? Here is a tourist review for you. Visitors can view a 5-1/2-foot tall penis from a sperm whale or a hamster penis of 8/100ths of an inch.

Questions: Is this display the ultimate in exhibitionism? If so, are its patrons really tourists, or are they voyeurs?

Well Sir, I definitely gotta get me both of these new (and unauthorized) Submarine pins. These pins are representations of the much coveted "Dolphins" worn by submariners. They can only be worn by a submariner who has "Qualified" on the boats. During qualification, which can take as long as a year in some cases, the submariner MUST learn every operating system on the entire boat so he (and now she) can do everyone else's job if need be, i.e., a radioman must be able to fire a torpedo, a cook must be able to navigate, etc.,etc..

The first pin is called " a bush" pin. Look closely and you'll see why. The second one which is the one I really must get is "the DBF" pin (Diesel Boats Forever).

The "bush" pin.

The "DBF" pin.

Actual Regulation "Dolphins" insignia.


Those of You Born
1930 - 1979

At the end of this article is a quote of the month by Jay Leno.. If you don't read anything else, Please Read what he Said. Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!

First, we survived being born to mothers
Who smoked and/or drank while they were

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing,
Tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles,
Locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode
Our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats,
No booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick-up truck on a warm day was always a special treat

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon.
We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar.
And, we weren't overweight.

Because we were
Always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
As long as we were back when the
Streetlights came on.

No one was able
To reach us all day. And, we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps
And then ride them down the hill, only to find out
We forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes
a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes.
There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable,
No video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's,
No cell phones,
No personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.
And we went outside and found them!

When we were outside and did something wrong and got
into trouble, the neighbors would call our parents about what
we had done and Mom and/or Dad would usually be waiting
for us with a "switch" or Dad's belt to administer a spanking.
Although our ass's might be a little red and sore for a day
or so, our feeling and pride were usually hurt more than
the ass whoop'n we'd gotten, but not always. BTW,
they also didn't wind up get'n arrested by the Child
Protection Agency for Administering Corporal Punishment.

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth
And there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt,
And the worms did not live in us Forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays,
Made up games with sticks and tennis balls and,
Although we were told it would happen,
We did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and
Knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just
Walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.
Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law
Was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best
Risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them?
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the
lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know
how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

The quote of the
month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks. Are we sure this is a good time
to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

...and some personal beliefs....

God determines who walks into your's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person whom you care about.


God bless my friend in whatever it is that You know they may need this day!
And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity, and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.

...and "The Chief" commented; "gotta admit, that Bush pin made me think of our former president, right off. You guys oughta design one for the present glorious leader: maybe call it the "Nappy". Can I say that?"

Cookie; Actually Chief, I beleive the same "bush" pin would also apply to Obama. A pussy!

the Chief responded (as I knew he would); "And, I'm stil puzzling over why anybody would waste time & effort, either maintaining a museum dedicated to animal dicks, or actually visiting same? I can understand one devoted to animal vaginas... since so many rednecks, mountain folk, New Yawkers and other perverts seem to like 'em, but...? Do they remind some guys of periscopes?"

Monday mania.

Well Sir, about 20 miles north of where Cookie is sit'n right now there is an area called the "Tug Hill Plateau" up in Oswego County, NY. A New York Times article, "8 days, 10 feet of snow, and NOT done yet!" ( ), relates what I'm about t'talk about.

The Tug Hill area is nationally known fer its absolutely HUGE quantities of snow that it gets frum "Lake Effect" snow off Lake Ontario. Just ask "Patrick" who was stationed near here back in the day. Sometimes when this happens the roads become completely impassable and supplies haveta be air-lifted into the area. Here be a great example of their #1 priority fer that area.


...and once the beer is air-lifted in and consumed, they've got some time on their hands so why not do some sculpturing.

...and of course usually they lose power so they haveta use their imaginations..

In fact I just got off the phone with a friend who lives up on the Tug Hill. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window.

He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.


...and speak'n of mania! I don't think I ever would a done this even back in my drink'n days.

...and this is the result of parents having sex when the momma is a pot smoker and the daddy is a drunk.


Sunday, January 16, 2011


**Click to Enlarge if'n ya have to.**


Oh Boy! What a great Christmas present!! (3 parts)


His request approved, the CNN News photographer quickly used a cell phone to call the local airport to charter a flight.

He was told a twin-engine plane would be waiting for him at the airport.

Arriving at the airfield, he spotted a plane warming up outside a hanger.

He jumped in with his bag, slammed the door shut, and shouted, 'Let's go'.

The pilot taxied out, swung the plane into the wind and took off.

Once in the air, the photographer instructed the pilot, 'Fly over the valley and make low passes so I can take pictures of the fires on the hillsides.'

'Why?' asked the pilot.

'Because I'm a photographer for CNN, he responded, 'and I need to get some close up shots.'

The pilot was strangely silent for a moment, finally he stammered, 'So, what you're telling me, is ... You're NOT my flight instructor?'

"Life is short. Drink the good wine first"

An old Irish family Tradition

Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,

"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the Lake is Frozen, and , you were born in August Dip Shit