Friday, January 30, 2009


Well Sir, I know at least one a my "troll" readers that needs this....AND NO, it's NOT "The Chief"....

Now here's a good example of a "Clever" Asshole.....

Gotta Thank "Fish" frum Kentucky fer that gem.....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thoisday Things....

ADDENDUM: Now Sir, this here little village is a few miles north of where Cookie lives, and although we didn't get as much snow as Redfield, we still got our more than fair share.

I know that me good buddy Patrick frum over at "prh....A Day in the Life." will most certainly recall photygraffs like these as he had the unfortunate privilege of havin been stationed with the Air Farce...Oooops...Force not to far frum here...

Sooo...if'n yur a bitchin about some snow y'all mighta gotten recently, remember, "Things could always be worse."...

REDFIELD, N.Y. — The snow squalls that have buried Redfield and its neighbors up to their stop signs finally tapered off Monday, but forecasters warned that another storm system was on the way.

Unofficially, the past week of lake-effect storms dumped 12 feet, 2 inches of snow at Redfield.

If that number checks out, it would break the state record of 10 feet, 7 inches of snow that fell in nearby Montague over seven days ending Jan. 1, 2002, said Steve McLaughlin, a meteorologist for the National Weather Service in Buffalo. A weather service representative was sent to Redfield on Monday to verify the total.

Residents of this hardy upstate New York village seem unfazed by the weather, and a bit surprised by all the attention. Their economy thrives on snowmobilers and cross-country skiers, and they usually average 270 inches of snow for the season — more than 22 feet.
"It's snow. We get a lot of it. So what?" said Allan Babcock, owner of Shar's Country Diner in this Oswego County village of 650 people.


Some Wisdom frum The Cookshack

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2 . It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


S'More Military humor.....


God lives in the Post Office

God lives in the Post Office

This is one of the kindest things I've ever experienced. I have no way to know who sent it, but there is a beautiful soul working in the "dead letter office file" of the US postal service.

Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her. You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith , ' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven.

Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.



Now Sir, I've posted this before, but in light of the massive stimulus package about to be passed with all the various entitlements in it, I thought this might be a good time to review...cause it is Soooo True!

A chemistry professor in a large college had some exchange students in the class. One day while the class was in the lab the Professor noticed one young man (exchange student) who kept rubbing his back, and stretching as if his back hurt.

The professor asked the young man what was the matter. The student told him he had a bullet lodged in his back. He had been shot while fighting communists in his native country who were trying to overthrow his country's government and install a new communist government.

In the midst of his story he looked at the professor and asked a strange question. He asked, 'Do you know how to catch wild pigs?'

The professor thought it was a joke and asked for the punch line. The young man said this was no joke. 'You catch wild pigs by finding a suitable place in the woods and putting corn on the ground. The pigs find it and begin to come everyday to eat the free corn. When they are used to coming every day, you put a fence down one side of the place where they are used to coming. When they get used to the fence, they begin to eat the corn again and you put up another side of the fence. They get used to this side and start to eat again. You continue until you have all four sides of the fence up with a gate in the last side. The pigs, who are used to the free corn, start to come through the gate to eat, you slam the gate on them and catch the whole herd.

Suddenly the wild pigs have lost their freedom. They run around and around inside the fence, but they are caught. Soon they go back to eating the free corn. They are so used to it that they have forgotten how to forage in the woods for themselves, so they accept their captivity.

The young man then told the professor that is exactly what he sees happening to America . The government keeps pushing us toward socialism and keeps spreading the free corn out in the form of programs such as supplemental income, tax credit forunearned income, tobacco subsidies, dairy subsidies, payments not to plant crops (CRP), welfare, medicine, drugs, etc.. While we continually lose our freedoms -- just a little at a time.

One should always remember: There is no such thing as a free lunch! Also, a politician will never provide a service for you cheaper than you can do it yourself.

Also, if you see that all of this wonderful government 'help' is a problem confronting the future of democracy in America ; you might want to send this on to your friends. If you think the free ride is essential to your way of life then you will probably delete this email, but God help you when the gate slams shut!

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take away everything you have."

Thomas Jefferson

...and John Yowan frum out Kansas way has figured out just how Tequila wurks...


Hmmm...this guy musta been a Marine....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Wednesday Wanks....

ADDENDUM: Well Sir...ya knew it just had to happen...**sigh**

Copied frum "Ace of Spades HQ"...

The Unkindest Tort

You're in a plane that hits a flock of geese over the most populated city in the United States. Against all odds, your pilot keeps the plane under control and does what no other commercial airline pilot has ever successfully done. You and everyone on that plane with you survives the ordeal.

What's your response? Gratitude to the pilot and the airline who hired him? A rethinking of life's priorities?


If you're Joe Hart, it's lawsuit time!

Joe Hart, a salesman from Charlotte who suffered a bloody nose and bruises, says he “would like to be made whole for the incident.”

It’s too soon after the accident to determine what emotional distress he has suffered, he says.

...In addition to recovering losses, Hart says he's concerned about having trouble flying. He's flown on six planes since the accident, and each flight has gotten "progressively more difficult."

He says he was tense, sweated and "felt every bit of turbulence" on a Los Angeles-to-Philadelphia flight last week, though it wasn't that turbulent a flight.

Hart says he has talked to a lawyer in North Carolina but hasn’t decided whether to take any legal action.

“I want to see how things play out with US Airways,” he says. “I’m hopeful US Airways understands the significance of the incident.”

The significance of the incident? The significance of the incident, you ungrateful doofus, is that you and everyone on that plane is alive. I'm not sure what disgusts me more - that Joe Hart sees his brush with death as nothing more than the opportunity for a payout, or the fact that some catfish-like law firm is willing to actually take his case.

What holy bleeding hell is wrong with these people? Are they going to argue that the airline has liability because they did not use reasonable care in avoiding a flock of geese that randomly flew in front of an airplane?

I agree with Rachel Lucas on this one. If you want to sue someone, sue the geese who flew in front of that plane.

Heh - From the comments:

I'm channeling the geese right now... They're speaking through me...

"Honk! Honk!", you say? The big airplane ran into you? It didn't even try to turn?

Ladies and gentlemen! Justice must be done! And I must receive 20 percent!

Posted by: John Edwards at January 28, 2009 10:10 AM (7dXKM)

You morons crack me up.

posted by Slublog at 09:18 AM

We'll begin with some good old fashioned Military Humor.....


Finally!! Here t'is men, the long awaited for 2009 Hooters Calendar.....





Muslim Quarterback

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.


He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.


Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.


"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

I don't want to talk to you, the old Muslim woman says. "You deserted us. You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit !"


Even if you don't own a dog at present, you'll appreciate the efforts of this owner to sell her puppy. Read her sales pitch below...

Puppy For Sale

Excellent guard dog. Owner cannot afford to feed him anymore;
as there are no more thieves, murderers or molesters left in the neighborhood for him to eat.

Most of them knew him as,



"Holy Shit !".

Subject: Ben & Jerry's New Ice Cream???

Ben and Jerry's is coming out with an unbelievable new ice cream in honor of
their messiah.

It is being churned in Washington DC and appropriately being named:

Baracky Road --- half chocolate and half vanilla and surrounded by fruits and nuts.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tuesday tidbits....

Well Sir, "The Chief" sent this along to Cookie, and I strongly suspect that last two items are really about me...


(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man and a
grandmother is a lady!

Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks,
they slow down past things like pretty leaves and

They show us and talk to us
about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

They don't say, 'Hurry up.'

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'

When they read to us, they don't skip.
They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack time before bedtime and they say prayers with us
and kiss us even when we've acted bad.




It's funny when he bends over, you hear gas leaks and he blames it on their dog, "Czarina".


Now Sir, although "Charlie the Cop" sent me this here one, and knowin this other blogger like I do, I suspect that the "Old Indian" mentioned in the story was actually a past relative of "The Chief".... frum "Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire"...


Irish Prostitute

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....Dad....I became a prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family."

"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a $5 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club......................... (takes a breath)............. and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and... ..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.....a prostitute Daddy! Sniff, sniff."

"Oh! By Jaysus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old Dad a hug."

Thanks to "FishinMagician" frum up Buffalo, NY way fer that one

....and Clint Griffin frum San Diego sends us this one...

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our laws."

The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion, I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.

Finally, the rabbi said, "Sure beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"


Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale , Arizona:












Gotta thank "Chicago Charlie" fer that one.....


Monday, January 26, 2009

Thomas Jefferson...The wise prophet. "Snopes" vs "Truth or Fiction"

Well Sir, me good buddy Patrick from over at "prh....A Day in the Life" sent me these here quotes that are allegedly made by one of our greatest founding fathers, Thomas Jefferson.

Now Sir, before I post certain things on my blog, I'll generally attempt to verify the veracity of an article or story, and this is no differant.

As a matter of experience, and various articles I have read by several other authors, that "Snopes.Com" may not always completely(operative word) factual regarding their information, especially if'n it has somethin to do with present day politics involving Democrats or present circumstances surrounding Democrats. In some cases, they simply opt not to print anything about certain topics, or what they do say is alleged to be "questionable". It's my understanding, and I haven't verified this, that the folks running and operating "Snopes" contributed heavily to Obama's campaign, so, in the future, if'n yur gonna use "Snopes" regarding some political issue or another, be wary of it's veracity, and/or, use "Truth or Fiction" as a main or second source.

As of late, I have been using "Truth or Fiction" as a better source, so with this in mind, I checked out these alleged prophetic quotes from one of our greatest Statesmen, Thomas Jefferson, and here they are mates...

Jefferson in some cases could be called a prophet.

1) "When we get piled upon one another in large cities, as in Europe, we shall become as corrupt as Europe." TRUTH
Thomas Jefferson

2) "The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." UNPROVEN but has long been attributed to Jefferson.
Thomas Jefferson

3) "It is incumbent on every generation to pay its own debts as it goes. A principle which if acted on would save one-half the wars of the world." TRUTH
Thomas Jefferson

4) "I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." TRUTH
Thomas Jefferson

5) "My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from too much government." UNPROVEN but has long been attributed to Jefferson.
Thomas Jefferson

6) "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." TRUTH
Thomas Jefferson

7) "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government." UNPROVEN but has long been attributed to him.
Thomas Jefferson

8) "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." TRUTH
Thomas Jefferson

9) "To compel a man to subsidize with his taxes the propagation of ideas which he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical." MISQUOTED but the point is the correct.
Thomas Jefferson

Very Interesting Quote

In light of the present financial crisis, it's interesting to read what Thomas Jefferson said in 1802:

10) "I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered." Slightly MISQUOTED but TRUE

WOW! Talk about great insight, wisdom and prophetic abilities....

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A great reason to buy a Mercedes....

But First...a little political toon.....


Now Sir, if'n Y'all live in the north country like upstate New York, the Mohawk Valley region, or any other state where it tends to become snowbound durin blizzards and/or "Lake Effect" storms in the winter months, ya jusy gotta have a "Benz"...

...and along those same expensive automobile lines....

...and of course ya cain't ferget the classic "Vette"....

Sunday sundries....


Obama can't be bothered to visit the military...again!

Posted by Cassy Fiano
Published: January 22, 2009 - 6:09 PM

Color me unsurprised. Of all the celebratory balls Obama attended for his historic inauguration, he didn't feel it necessary to attend the 'Salute to Heroes Inaugural Ball', which was started by President Eisenhower and attended by Presidents for 14 straight inaugurations. Here we are 56 years later and Obama broke that tradition. Apparently his efforts to mingle with all the celebrities was more important than spending a few minutes with the 48 Medal of Honor recipients at the 'Salute to Heroes Ball'. That's right, 48 Congressional Medal of Honor winners! Every President since that particular ball was started was able to find time on Inauguration Day to attend; but not Obama.

Yeah, this guy loves the troops all right. Real respect for our military there. But hey, he did run on a platform of change and after all...that sure was a change. For the first time in American history, we have a Commander-in-Chief who can't even fake respect for our heroes who have fought, sacrificed, and died for their country...even Clinton managed to fake it.

Oh, and remember -- "Don't ever question his patriotism or his respect for our troops. Not ever." Those are his hollow words.

OK mates, let's continue with some humor regardin Gender Priorities....



1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC .

" Because I said so, ! that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY .

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .

"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY .

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .

"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP .

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS .

"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE, or, "The Mothers Curse".

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Great Orators of the Democratic Party...

'One man with courage makes a majority.'
- Andrew Jackson

'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.'
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

'The buck stops here.'
- Harry S. Truman

'Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.'
- John F. Kennedy

And for today's Democrats...

**Note** I found Nancy Pelosi's quote most interesting.

'It depends what your definition of 'IS' is?''
- Bill Clinton

'Those rumors are false .... I believe in the sanctity of marriage.'
- John Edwards

'I invented the Internet.'
- Al Gore

'The next person that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads up their ***.'
- Joe Biden

' America is--is no longer, uh, what it--it, uh, could be, uh what it was once was...uh, and I say to myself, 'uh, I don't want that future, uh, uh for my children.'
- Barack Obama

'I have campaigned in all 57 states.'
- Barack Obama

'You don't need God anymore, you have us Democrats.'
- Nancy Pelosi (said back in 2006)

'Bill is the greatest husband and father I know. No one is more faithful, true, and honest than he.'
- Hillary Clinton (said back in 1998)


Yupper, I can just it now about 5 years frum now.....


A great answer to stupid question.....

Katie Couric, while interviewing a Marine sniper, asked:

"What do you feel... When you shoot a Terrorist?"

The Marine shrugged and replied,

"A slight recoil."


A Democratic "Wealth spreader", courtesy of John Deere.....

** Fer all a you "City Slickers" out there, this here piece of equipment is a Manure Spreader.