Saturday, November 22, 2008

S'More Saturday and Sunday Sundries....

"Nordakota Cow"

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears
about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota
for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches
under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls...the
cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then
reaches under to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out
however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides
to buy the cow.

When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and
says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her
teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota,
didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole
replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota too.'

Saw this over at "Sig's" and just had t'steal it. Although several titles or captions immediately come to mind, feel free to make any appropriate comments at the end of the post....


The new transfer student frum India.....

It was the first day of a school in USA and a new Indian student named Chandrasekhar Subramanian entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said,

"Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his hand up: 'Patrick Henry, 1775' he said.

'Very good!'

Who said 'Government of the People, by the People,
for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?'

Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar.
'Abraham Lincoln, 1863' said Chandrasekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, 'Class, you
should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.'

She heard a loud whisper: 'Fuck the Indians,'

'Who said that?' she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up.
'General Custer, 1862.'

At that point, a student in the back said, 'I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks 'All right!
Now, who said that?'

Again, Chandrasekhar says, 'George Bush to the
Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.'

Now furious, another student yells, 'Oh yeah? Suck this!'

Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand
and shouts to the
teacher , 'Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!'

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said 'You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you.'

Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, ' Michael Jackson to the child witnesses testifying against him- 2004.'

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, 'Oh shit, we're screwed!'

And Chandrasekhar said quietly, 'I think it was the American people, November 4th, 2008".


Hmmm.... anyone ever seen one like this before???




It turns out to be...... a new born baby Panda Bear....

...and just, pray tell, were Y'all thinkin??

Well Sir, I just happen to find out that many, MANY years back, before "The Chief" frum over at Smolderin Embers was married, he placed an ad in a local newspaper hoping to meet that special someone. Here be that ad....

...and, here's a great Christmas gift fer that special Asshole in yur life....

It's only a guess mind ya, but I gotta feelin this here venture might be doomed to failure....


A differant image representing the stages of our lives.....


Ladies and Gentlemen, The Cookshack is very proud to present, The Great Flydini...


Saturday Sundries....

OK Mates, just some toons, photygraffs and NEWSBUSTED t'day.

We'll begin with our Education System at wurk in Alabama......


....and, my buddy "FishinMagician" has a Thanksgiving Thought fer us....

Just think ..................... if the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we all would be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving dinner!!

Got a couple of NEWSBUSTED fer Y'all.....


Friday, November 21, 2008

Friday Fabulous Flashback's.....

Well Sir, on a couple of the blogs that Cookie visits on a regular basis, "My Wonderfull Life", and "prh...A Day In The Life", both "MightyMom and Patrick have put a music playlist into their sidebars so's folks can listen to some great tunes whilst readin their daily posts.

Now Sir, the Cookie also wanted to do this but just can't seem to figure out just how in the hell its done, even following the directions at the website, so, the best this old "puter illiterate Bubblehead" can do fer Y'all at this time is to post some great music video's I scarfed frum YouTube.

Enjoy mates.....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Thoisday Thuds....

OK Mates...Time fer S'More "Kodak Moments" as sent to us by "Nikki of the North" from up around Fort Drum, NY....


Photobucket WARNING!! Adult Content and Partial Nudity Ahead!!

Yupper...this photygraff is gonna look real great in the Weddin Album.... dog....

Now here be sumthin I'd do to "The Chief" if'n he was around....

...Ahhh...No Comment! Where's Jerry Falwell when ya need him?

Now Sir....this last one brings t'mind all kinds of I'll let Y'all just make yur own remarks...


Whos says women don't make good business-folk....

Ya gotta admit men, if'n ya had one a these here Barbershops in yur community, Y'all would probably be the most fastidiously groomed men around.....

Hey Tom! I hear this is near a Management School somewhere... had yur hair cut yet?

Gotta THANK "FishinMagician" frum up Buffalo way fer sendin us that one.....


A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says,

'Do I know you?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.'

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,

'My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

Thanks Agin Missy Nikki....

...and finally, my good amiga frum down Eagle Lake, Texas way sends us this NEW map of the United States....

Well as many of you may or may not know the Republic of Texas is the only State in the Union that reserves the right to secede at anytime from the United States of America .

Due to unfortunate events on November 4th, 2008 we felt that it is important to provide you with the new map of the United States . Thank you for your understanding.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Special Commemorative Post

Today would have been the birthday of my life long best friend, Bob Snogles, who passed away earlier this year. Bob, among his many other life accomplishments, also played with The Syracuse Kilties Pipe & Drum band. He played this song at many a funeral for many others, now this is for him.


Wednesday Wanks.....

Well Sir, my amiga "Upstate Nikki" sends along some rather humorous "Kodak Moments" to share with us....

Photobucket WARNING!! Adult Content, Partial and Full Nudity Ahead!!

Hmmm...I've heard of havin a "Woody" before, but not like this one...

...and this last one...Gee, How Original!!


Well old Seabee buddy "FishinMagician" sends along these next two posts...

WTF! Over....

Hmmm...a "Monumental" one....

"'s time to sell the car!


A Story bout "Change"....

Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his marines and told the 'gunny' that they smelled bad.The lieutenant
suggested that they change their underwear.

The Gunny responded, 'Yes, sir, I'll see to it immediately'.

He went into the tent and said, 'The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with
Witkowskie, Brown, you change with Schultz. Get to it'.

The moral: A candidate may promise change in Washington, but don't count on things smelling any better.