Hmmmm...

Well Sir, the 2010 Masters Tournament has been cancelled. Sorry Tiger..


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A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the old lady pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food.

On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Twenty-four," she replied.
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Well Sir, it seems that my friend "Chicago Charlie" hired a German handyman to do some repair work around his home, and he took this here video to show the results.



Ya, but can he chew gum as well?
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First they closed & locked the meeting room doors in Washington, NOW THIS!

I am completely "fed" up (pun intended) with our government representatives and all their bullshit. To those of you who are sitting on the sidelines watching, get active! To those of us who are active, keep the pressure on mates.

Friday.

Tom retired in his early 50's and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time.
Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. Finally, one day, his boss called him into the office for a talk.

"Tom, I must tell you, I truly like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job, but being late for work nearly every day is quite annoying to me as well as your fellow workers."

Tom replied, "Yes, sir, I know. I'm sorry, but I am working on it."

"That's what I like to hear," his boss said. "However, the fact that you consistently come to work late does puzzle me because I understand that you retired from the United States Marine Corps, and they have some pretty rigid
rules about tardiness. Isn't that correct?"

"Yes. I did retire from the Marine Corps, and I'm mighty proud of it!" said Tom.

"Well, what did they say when you came in late?" asked his boss.

"They said, 'Good morning, General'."
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Q: What was the best thing about the Cash for Clunkers program?

A: It got rid of a lot of Obama Bumper Stickers !!!!
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Louisiana Ghost Story

This happened about 6 months ago on Louisiana Hwy 57,just
outside of Dulac, a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock
tale, it’s real.

An Ohio businessman, Saul Rubins, abandoned his
disabled vehicle on the side of the road, and attempted
to hitchhike. The night was pitch dark in the middle
of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by.

It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face.
Suddenly, through the sheets of rain, he saw a car moving
slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the
rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Desperately needing a ride, Saul jumped in the car and closed the door. Only then did he realize that there was no one behind the wheel and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept silently forward and Saul was
terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and
running.. He saw that the car was approaching a sharp
curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to
pray and beg for his life; he was sure the ghost
car would go off the road and into the bayou and he would
then drown!

But just before the curve, a shadowy hand appeared at
the driver's window, reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and Saul was alone again.

Paralyzed with fear, Saul watched the hand reappear every time they reached a curve.

Finally, scared nearly to death, Saul had all he could take, jumped out of the car, and ran to town..

Wet and in shock, he went into Schmoopy's. Voice quavering, he ordered two cups of coffee, black, and then told everybody about his supernatural experience.

The room became silent and everybody got goose bumps
when they realized Saul was telling the truth (and not just some drunk).

About 30 minutes later two Cajuns, dripping wet, walked
into Schmoopy's and one says to the other,

"Look, Boudreaux, ders dat idiot what rode in our car
when we wuz pushin' it in the rain!!!"
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Gotta Thanks "Charlie The Cop" and Susan G fer t'days submissions.

Your voice for the unborn is needed.

Although Cookie prefers to post humor, comedy and recipe's, there is one thing that will ALWAYS take precedent to any of that, and that is to protect our most vulnerable of population, the unborn. Just take a two minutes and watch this video regarding what Obama, Pelosi, Reid and others are attempting to do regarding government sponsored abortions in the upcoming Health Care bill(s). Cookie thanks you for your time.


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Well Sir, so much fer doing any future business with Home Depot

Home Depot fires cashier over 'God' button



Posted Oct 28th 2009 4:00PM

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
A former cashier for The Home Depot who has been wearing a "One nation under God" button on his work apron for more than a year has been fired, he says because of the religious reference. The company claims that expressing such personal beliefs is simply not allowed.

"I've worn it for well over a year and I support my country and God," Trevor Keezor said Tuesday. "I was just doing what I think every American should do, just love my country."

The American flag button Keezer wore in the Florida store since March 2008 says "One nation under God, indivisible."
Earlier this month, he began bringing a Bible to read during his lunch break at the store in the rural town of Okeechobee, about 140 miles north of Miami. That's when he says The Home Depot management told him he would have to remove the button.
Keezer refused, and he was fired on Oct. 23, he said.
"It feels kind of like a punishment, like I was punished for just loving my country," Keezer said.
A Home Depot spokesman said Keezer was fired because he violated the company's dress code.
"This associate chose to wear a button that expressed his religious beliefs. The issue is not whether or not we agree with the message on the button," Craig Fishel said. "That's not our place to say, which is exactly why we have a blanket policy, which is long-standing and well-communicated to our associates, that only company-provided pins and badges can be worn on our aprons."
Fishel said Keezer was offered a company-approved pin that said, "United We Stand," but he declined.
Keezer's lawyer, Kara Skorupa, said she planned to sue the Atlanta-based company.
"There are federal and state laws that protect against religious discrimination," Skorupa said. "It's not like he was out in the aisles preaching to people."
Keezer said he was working at the store to earn money for college, and wore the button to support his country and his 27-year-old brother, who is in the National Guard and is set to report in December for a second tour of duty in Iraq.
Skorupa noted the slogan on Keezer's pin is straight from the Pledge of Allegiance.
"These mottos and sayings that involve God, that's part of our country and historical fabric," Skorupa said. "In God we trust is on our money."
Michael Masinter, a civil rights and employment law professor at NOVA Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, said any lawsuit over religious discrimination might be a tough one to win.
"Because it's a private business, not one that's owned and operated by the government, it doesn't have to operate under the free speech provisions of the First Amendment," Masinter said.
"But we're not talking about religious displays here," he said. "This sounds more like a political message ... Wearing a button of that sort would not easily be described as a traditional form of religious expression like wearing a cross or wearing a yarmulke."

Wednesday Wanks

Well Sir, my old bud John Keating frum out Michigan way sent me this here story about a real heroic Cowboy.



A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and mo st heavily tattooed biker and smacked him in his face .... Kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off!! Or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!'
St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago'
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...and "Chicago Charlie" sends me this....

Subject: Conversation in a Kentucky Bar

A guy walks into a bar in Kentucky and orders a white wine. All the
rednecks sitting around the bar look up, expecting to see some pitiful
Yankee from the north.

The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"

The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada ."

The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada ?"

The guy says, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender says, "A taxidermist? What in tarnation is a taxidermist? Do you drive a taxi?"

"No, a taxidermist doesn't drive a taxi.. I mount animals."

The bartender grins and hollers, "It's okay boys. He's one of us."
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...and an old good buddy Marine sent me this'n...

LITTLE KNOWN TIDBIT OF NAVAL HISTORY...



The U. S. S. Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers).

However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the U.S.S. Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."

Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores , arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England . In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland . Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.

The U. S. S. Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky, and 38,600 gallons of water.

GO NAVY!!
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Man, could we use a man like this. Hey mister, wanna job??

America, Canada, all Europe need a President like this.



Prime Minister Kevin Rudd - Australia

Muslims who want to live under Islamic Sharia law were told on Wednesday to get out of Australia, as the government targeted radicals in a bid to head off potential terror attacks.

Separately, Howard angered some Australian Muslims on Wednesday by saying he supported spy agencies monitoring the nation's mosques.

Quote:

"IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It. I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians."

"This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom. We speak mainly ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, Learn the Language!"

"Most Australians believe in God. This is not some Christian, right wing, political push, but a fact, because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture."

"We will accept your beliefs, and will not question why. All we ask is that you accept ours, and live in harmony and peaceful enjoyment with us."

"This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every
opportunity to enjoy all this. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our Christian beliefs, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great Australian freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE."

"If you aren't happy here then LEAVE. We didn't force you to come here. You
asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted."

Maybe if we circulate this , American citizens will find the backbone to start speaking and voicing the same truths.
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Gotta slip this in fer Y'all...

Our 23rd Congressional District race has really gained momentous national attention. Doug Hoffman, a Conservative with strong conservative values has surged ahead big time in the polls. Why? Because he stands for what you and I stand for and represents OUR values! Here's a brief ad that Fred Thompson made for him.



If'n you're a New Yorker in his district that wants someone to represent your value system, vote for him on election day, or donate if'n y'all can. If'n you're from outta state and want to help shift the power balance and get control out of the Democrats hands, donate at the link I've provided below. This election is important on a National level.

https://www.doughoffmanforcongress.com/donate3.html

Tueday Tidbits

Grandma is 80 yrs old and still drives her own car. She writes:

Dear Granddaughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw
a “Honk If you Love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling pretty
sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir practice,
followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So I bought the sticker
and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed. I
was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good he is. I found lots of people that love
Jesus! While I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking
like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed,
“For the love of God! Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ GO!” What an
exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking! I leaned out my window and started
waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my
horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I
heard him yelling something about a sunny beach. I saw another
guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up
in the air. I asked my young teenaged grandson in the back seat
what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian sign for good
luck or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the
window and gave him the good luck sign right back. My grandson
burst out laughing. Why he was even enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they
wanted to pray or ask what church I attended. It was a good thing
someone else loved Jesus because if they hadn’t honked, I’d have
never noticed that the light had changed! So, grinning, I waved to
all my brothers and sisters, and drove through the intersection.

I did noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned
out the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one
last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!!!

Will write again soon, Love, Grandma
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Well Sir, its almost time fer my annual medical exam at the VA, and here's the part I've always hated...


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**SIGH**, A NEVER ENDING SOURCE IF COMPLETELY IGNORANT PEOPLE!!


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ADULT CONTENT AHEAD!!


Saying goodbye can be hard to do...


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I am very sorry, but America simply cannot afford your expensive ailments anymore. So your "End of Life Guidance Counselor" has selected you to participate in an all-expense paid cruise! I hope you enjoy your cruise!

Your Counselor in Chief, Barack Hussein Obama


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If'n Y'all believe in our Constitutional Rights, this is IMPORTANT!!

If'n you believe in our Constitution, and in particular the 2nd amendment, please watch this important video by Congressman Broun regarding Obama's plan to completely infringe on the rights of ALL gun owners in these United States. I've been watching this proposed H.R. 45 bill for sometime now and NOW is the time for us to act. I'm 65 years old and never, EVER dreamed I would see times like these in "the land of the free". This is the most audacious attempt by Obama and his band of power hungry scoundrels to take away our weapons and our 2nd amendment rights I've ever witnessed. Enough is ENOUGH!!

After watch'n this short, but important video, please go to the link I have provided and complete a very short survey. Thanks mates.

http://www.nagr.org/brounsurvey1.aspx?pid=3

The WSJ knows who to endorse! and, some Sunday "NewsBusted" fer Y'all.

The GOP's New York Fiasco
Republicans try to lose a House seat.

"Republicans are telling themselves that a political wave is building that could carry them to big election gains next year. Judging by their performance so far in a special election in New York, however, they deserve to wander in the minority for another generation or two.

The November 2 contest will replace nine-term Republican John McHugh, who resigned to become Secretary of the Army. President Obama carried the district along the Canadian border with 52%, but George W. Bush carried it twice and Republicans outnumber Democrats by 45,000 or so. With voters alarmed about the economy and runaway spending, this ought to be an easy GOP retention.

Yet party bosses have managed to nominate a rare Republican who could lose: Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafava, whose liberal record has caused voters to flee to Doug Hoffman, a business executive who is running on the Conservative line. Mr. Hoffman has more than 20% support in the latest poll, which is only a few points behind Ms. Scozzafava, who is only a little behind Democratic lawyer Bill Owens.

Democrats want to portray this race as a familiar moderate-conservative GOP split, but the real issue is why Ms. Scozzafava is a Republican at all. She has voted for so many tax increases that the Democrat is attacking her as a tax raiser. She supported the Obama stimulus, and she favors "card check" to make union organizing easier, or at least she did until a recent flip-flop.She has run more than once on the line of the Working Families Party, which is aligned with Acorn. Her voting record in Albany puts her to the left of nearly half of the Democrats in the assembly. She also favors gay marriage, which is to the left of Mr. Obama.

GOP county chairmen pushed Ms. Scozzafava for the job in July at the behest of GOP state party chairman Joe Mondello, who has since (and blessedly) stepped down. Mr. Mondello also hand-picked loser James Tedisco in another special Congressional election earlier this year. Our sources tell us the backroom boys picked Ms. Scozzafava because she is a woman with high name recognition who could appeal to Democrats. Too bad she doesn't appeal to Republicans.

One lesson of the Democratic gains in Congress in 2006 and 2008 is that a party needs to nominate candidates who fit their districts. Conservative stands won't always fit in the Northeast the way they might in the South. Single-issue litmus tests can be self-defeating.

But GOP candidates ought to at least agree on some core principles, such as limited government and limits on the power of unions that have done so much to bust New York's budget and drive jobs from the state. Some Republicans think Ms. Scozzafava might even switch parties if she wins and faces the prospect of a tough GOP primary next year.

All of which suggests that the best result might be for Mr. Hoffman—who promises to caucus with Republicans—to emerge as the main opponent to the Democrat. A divided GOP vote could elect the Democrat and add to their majority. But Mr. Hoffman might even win if enough voters abandon Ms. Scozzafava. James Buckley won a Senate seat as the Conservative candidate in New York in 1970 against a pair of major-party liberals.

Above all, a defeat would teach Republicans that running candidates who believe in nothing will keep them in the minority for years to come. "
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Gotta Thank Susan Gertson fer pass'n these along t'Cookie...
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