Saturday, August 07, 2010

Late Sunday Sundries.

Yupper Mates! Thats an electrical power strip being floated on two rubber flip-flops. Now Sir, if'n these genius's are in fact still alive on this planet, can you hazard a guess as to whom they mighta voted fer?


I love truthful T-Shirts.


Susan Gertson done sent us this one, although we both know its BAAADDD, we can't stop laffin!

Now Sir, Y'all feel free to make whatever humorous comments you feel fits this photygraff most appropriately!


Great Trick. Ok mates, who out there can "splain" this one......


Who's funnier - Teachers or Cops?


These are actual comments made on student report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system.

All teachers were reprimanded but, some of these are really funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thingies to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.


These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country.

Thank goodness, in spite of the perils of the job, they still have a sense of humor!

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not... Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey crap.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post bail.'


1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

Friday, August 06, 2010

"Let em eat cake"

But first....


Now Sir, after get'n several E-mails frum differant folks about this topic, and then read'n an article that Patrick had posted over at his place, this subject got under my skin so much so that I just had to put in my 2 cents and HO.

Well Sir, while a great many unemployed folks are wonder'n how to put food on the table and save their homes from foreclosure, Michelle Obama, ( who is now being referred to by some media types as "Marie Antoinette"), is trapse'n around Spain with one of her daughters, 40 of her friends and family dog. Now Sir, y'all remember who Ms. Marie Antoinette was dont'cha? While the French people were starving and she was living a very opulent/luxurious life style as Queen, she commented "Let them eat Cake".

Now Sir, I don't begrudge her the need for a break and/or a vacation, we all need to get away from daily pressures from time to time, but this little jaunt to a 5 star hotel is costing YOU and I a bundle of the taxpayers money. In fairness, she and her friends are paying some of the expenses but we tax payers are picking up a very sizable portion of the tab.

The cost of ALL the Security staff and their room/meal costs. The cost of the "support staff" and their rooms. The horrendous costs of Air Force 2 (sometimes its Air Force 1), and one dozen cars they have retained to drive them all around. BTW, there is also NO State/Official reason for this trip. Also BTW, unless I'm misinformed, the family dog went on yet a separate plane. This trip is just a vacation. Hmmm, how many vacations does that make now, can anyone tell me. You can go the 2 below news links and get an idea of the expenses this is cost'n us. Make sure you take yur blood pressure and heart meds.

To me, this trip, at this time when this country is in the worst economic condition it's been in for many years, out of control government spending, unemployment at 9.5%, folks losing everything and no good news on the horizon, just shows either a complete lack of class or complete disrespect by Queen Michelle for the American people and what we are going through. I don't think that even Hillary would have spit in our eye like this if these same circumstances were in play when she was 1st Lady, and I know that that classy, caring and compassionate Eleanor Roosevelt would not even have entertained the idea, let alone done it.

Help me out here, can any of you think of any other 1st Lady who, with the country being in the financial condition it is, would have taken such an opulent and expensive trip like this in such "hard times"?

Ms. Obama, where is your sense of timing, your decorum, your compassion and understanding of what us "common folks" are going through? This was SO inappropriate at this time.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

A good computer prank, and, an age old question is finally answered.

But first, a Cookshack PSA regarding what is predicted to happen this upcoming winter (No Joke). Got this frum the National Weather Service yesterday.


Well Sir, I have to admit that this first short video is one great computer prank, however, Cookie has a bad case of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and as such, one of my most glaring symptoms is "Exaggerated Startle Response".

Upon being unexpectedly startled by a loud noise or unexpected physical contact I react very violently and my "Fight or Flight" mechanism kicks in. This is completely uncontrollable. My Adrenal Gland instantly pumps large quantities of adrenalin into my body and it stays there for usually an hour or two after the event. This almost always leads to an "Adrenalin Headache" sometime later. PTSD sufferers reading this will know exactly what I'm talking about.

So, I would advise anyone think'n of pulling some sort of unexpected noisy surprise on Cookie that there is a good possibility that the prank you pull may very well be yur last, and under the law, I'd probabaly get away with it...



Now Sir, a question that has perplexed mankind fer thousands of years is; Do tigers and other "Big Cats" like catnip??

Well Sir, another question fer y'all is, does anyone know where I can get my hands on a large amount of catnip? I'm taking my wife to the Zoo next week and....

...fer all my Jewish friends and acquaintances.

An example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.

The Israeli representative began, "Before beginning my talk, I want to tell you a story about Moses. When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a good opportunity to have a bath!' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them."

The Palestinian representative jumped up furiously and shouted, "What are you talking about - The Palestinians weren't there then."

The Israeli representative smiled and then said, "And now that you have made that clear, I will begin my speech."

Gotta Thank "Patrick" fer that one.

"Great Caesar's Ghost"....speak'n of Elephants, Camels and Moose!

UPDATE: The favors of politics! If'n ya still don't see that "sumthin is rotten in the State of Denmark (Washington DC)" then yur a total idiot!!

This just in frum World Net Daily News!!


Elena Kagan tied to Obama's birth certificate;

'It just keeps getting deeper and deeper, doesn't it?

Posted: August 04, 2010
10:55 pm Eastern

By Joe Kovacs
© 2010 WorldNetDaily

Just when you thought there couldn't be any more players in the ongoing soap opera over the hunt for President Obama's original birth certificate and his constitutional eligibility for office, there comes yet another name: Elena Kagan.

Yes, the same Elena Kagan nominated by the commander in chief to be the next justice on the U.S. Supreme Court has actually been playing a role for some time in the dispute over whether Obama is legally qualified to be in the White House.

Here's the connection. Kagan served as solicitor general of the United States from March 2009 until May of this year.

In that role, she legally represented the U.S. government in numerous cases coming before the Supreme Court.

A simple search of the high court's own website reveals Kagan's name coming up at least nine times on dockets involving Obama eligibility issues. **Clicky de Linky if y'all need proof of her involvement""

Searching the dockets at the U.S. Supreme Court's website reveals Elena Kagan's name coming up numerous times on cases challenging President Obama's constitutional eligibility for office. (Supreme Court screenshot with name highlighted by WND, Aug. 4, 2010)

The fact Kagan handled these cases and is now Obama's first choice for the high court is raising some eyebrows.

"She was the solicitor general for all the suits against him filed with the Supreme Court to show proof of natural-born citizenship," notes WND reader Carl Jorgensen of Farmingdale, N.J. "He owes her big time."

"All of the requests were denied of course," Jorgensen continued. "They were never heard. It just keeps getting deeper and deeper, doesn't it? The American people mean nothing any longer. It's all about payback time for those that compromised themselves to elect someone that really has no true right to even be there. We should be getting so sick of all of this nonsense. The USA has finally become the laughing stock of the world. God help and deliver us."

Cookie's Note: That lying witch Nancy Pelosi made a statement early on in the Obama administration that they (the Dems) were going to "drain the swamp of corruption", and make Washington politics more open and transapent. Well Sir, it sure looks to me, and any other clear thinking, "common sense" oriented person that not only have they failed to "drain the swamp", but have added more urine soaked bullshit, and a few "gators" to the swamp we call Washington, DC politics.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

They're out there my friends.

Regard'n this here next video, these types of calls are very real. Just ask "Sig" over at Signal94. Now this gentleman wanted a ride to....the liquor store. Of course he was obliged with a ride, but the destination wasn't exactly where he had in mind...

I got a call one night that a man wanted a ride to his girlfriends apartment because his wife had taken the car and he had no way to get there. Stated he was hornier than hell. As I was talking to him (laughing hysterically under my breath), his wife returned home and naturally she was very concerned as to why the Pooleece was there, so I told her.

About 45 minutes later got a return call regarding an assault. We wound up taking him to the hospital for facial cuts and abrasions. I was still chucklin to myself...

In yet another instance while responding to an "ambulance call-nature unknown", upon arrival myself and my partner Mike discovered a man with"Johnson" stuck in a small vacuum cleaner hose. Ahyup! You guessed it. No further description needed. Upon leaving my partner made the statement that that call had really sucked!

...and they vote!



"The eyes are the window to the soul", a quote attributed to both the Bible and later, Cicero. As a cop who had to make snap, accurate judgements regarding the type and personality of the person I was dealing with, I allowed my senses and life experiences to read what I saw in the eyes of those people, and on several occasions I'm sure it saved me bodily harm and may have saved my life.

I ask y'all, seriously, what do YOU see in this womans eyes?? Don't go intellectual on me, use the senses that your Higher Power gave ya and tell me what you feel and sense.


Wednesday Wanks...

Now Sir, here be a tune I'll bet'cha never thought you'd hear the Muppets sing'n.....

"The Devil Went Down to Jamaica"


A Deer Hunt'n Story

Even if you don't care about hunting, you
Gotta Love Ted!

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting.

The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?

Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.'

The interview ended.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,

"Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute..."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

The Power of "Ice Gum".


You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane. . .only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night."

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Some late Tuesday toons & such.

A short quiz. What's miss'n from our current President's picture (I don't even like typing his name he makes me so sick and angry).



**Click to enlarge.**


Types of "Skid Marks".

And, one real bad case of "Road Rash"


Gleefully borrowed frum "The Chief".

...and who can ferget this lovely person, Jane Fonda. She really blackened and dirtied her daddy's good name.

There is a very demeaning 4 letter term for certain women, a term I very rarely use to describe a woman, unless she truly deserves it,


Sunday, August 01, 2010

Sunday Sundries....a mostly Patriotic blog-post.

Have'n been in Law Enforcement fer 21 years, THIS is my kind of Sheriff,

Joe Arpaio!

P.S. Note the "thingy" on top of the SWAT vehicle.


This new symbol now replaces the iconic American Eagle as the symbol for the President of The United State!

Skunk! aka Polecat

The skunk has replaced the Eagle as the new symbol of the American Presidency.
It is half black, half white, and everything it does stinks!

Now Sir, here be a nice, cute and entertaining video about some very young moose (is it "meece" for plural ?) have'n a great time in a sprinkler as momma Moose watches on....


Now Sir, although this accurate video is all about voting Republican this come'n November and beyond, my view is "Vote Principles, NOT Party!" Although Cookie is a staunch Conservative, and a "sometime Republican", if (and a very big IF) a Democratic candidate for just about any public office were to come along who mirrored, adhered to and believed in Cookie's conservative commos sense values and ethics, I would vote for him/her straight away. Of course the likelihood of THAT ever happening is as remote a chance as Obama voluntarily repealing his Health care disaster. Just say'n....

14 Weeks from Republican Governors Association on Vimeo.

Thank Ya Susan Gertson. Appreciated!

Thomas Payne say's it all with simple, easy to understand basic "Common Sense" !