Thursday, June 19, 2008

"That ragged old Flag" Johnny Cash

Well's good one fer Y'all to copy and put up on yur blogs on or around the 4th of July......I know I will. This was sent t'me by my good friend Miss Vicki (otherwise known as "The Buster" ) frum Chanute, Kansas. Thanks amiga.....


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Laid up fer a day or two......


Well Sir, I spent most of yesterday in the Urgent Care center with an IV drip in my arm and being attended to by some fine folks. It seems that somethin frum way back in my military days came back to pay me a belated visit and make my life briefly miserable and painfull....Soooo, I'm gonna foller the Doc's orders and stay down fer t'day, and maybe t'morrow....

Y'all take care now Y'heah......


BUT...I'll leave y'all with this little bit of wisdom which splains why there are Suicidal Muslims...

Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to commit suicide... Let's see now...

No Jesus
No Christmas
No television
No cheerleaders

No Nude Women
No car races
No football
No soccer
No golf
No tailgate parties
No K Mart
No pork BBQ
No hot dogs
No burgers
No lobster
No shellfish, or even frozen fish sticks
No nachos
No Beer nuts
No Beer!!!!!!!!
Rags for clothes and towels for hats.
Constant wailing from the guy next-door because he's sick and there are no doctors.
Constant wailing from the guy in the tower.
More than one wife.
You can't shave.
Your wives can't shave.
You can't shower to wash off the smell of donkey cooked over burning camel dung.
The women have to wear baggy dresses and veils at all times.
Your bride is picked by someone else.
She smells just like your donkey.
But your donkey has a better disposition.
Then they tell you that when you die it all gets better!

I mean, really, is there any mystery here?

Thanks Patrick fer sendin the answer to this age old mystery....


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Wednesday Wanks....






Now Sir..."Charlie the Cop" is on an animal kick t'day and sent these next two along to us....

CED in animals......

...and speakin of animals......

The Pink Envelope...

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the pastor of the Granville Presbyterian church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; What does he do for a living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada . He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno ."

This morning on my commute to the gym, I looked over to my left and there was a WOMAN in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds

and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much;

I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Cookie and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my pants, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

Hmmm...found this interestin.....

What's in the heart comes out via the tongue!

From Rush Limbaugh's radio show yesterday.....

Hey, folks, you want to tweak the Drive-By Media with me right now?

You are aware, probably, that Barack Obama lost his bearings recently and said
that he was going to campaign in all 57 states.

You heard this? And everybody chalked it up to, "Well, he's tired."

You know, this is a Dan Quayle moment. I mean, Dan Quayle goes out there and
misspells "potato," and we still hear jokes about it.

Barack Obama says he's gonna go out and campaign in 57 states; he was just
tired, you know; it's been such a long campaign; he's been so many places; he probably thinks there are 57 states.

Well, I have here a printout from a website called the International Humanist
and Ethical Union. And here is how the second paragraph of an article on that website begins.

"Every year from 1999 to 2005 the organization of the Islamic conference
representing the 57 Islamic states presented a resolution to the United
Nations Commission on human rights called combating."

Obama said he's going to campaign in 57 states, and it turns out that there are 57 Islamic states. There are 57 Islamic states.

So did Obama just lose his bearings, or was this a more telling slip, ladies
and gentlemen?


Monday, June 16, 2008

A little nostalgia..."As Time Goes By.", some humor... and "Pittens"...

NOTE: If'n ya don't have a weak stomach, get on over to Signal 94 and read about one of mine and Sig's adventures while on the Police typifies "Cop Humor"....

One of my favorite movies...and definately my favorite tune...Both real classics!


"Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town sent me this GREAT use fer old balls that is.....


Photobucket...Adult Content Ahead!

Yupper...nowadays ya really gotta be sure. A public Service Announcement.....





At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball
players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a
team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or
lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when an out is
called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a
pecker-head. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a
chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb
ass' is it?" Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your

Real Classified Ads

8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super to leap tall fences in a single bound.

Looks like a rat . Been out a while.
Better be a big reward.

Also 1 gay bull for sale.

$300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

California grown - 89 cents lb.

Must sell washer and dryer $300.

Worn once by mistake . Call Stephanie.

And the best one:

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition..
$1,000 or best offer. No longer needed,
Got married last month.
Wife knows everything

Sunday, June 15, 2008


An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: ‘He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?’

Via Nicki.....

Gotta tell y'all a true story. Four or five years ago, for reasons I cannot even recall at this moment, I violated one of my own personal living concepts which I taught my kids with some regularity and that was to never have "contempt before investigation", i.e., deciding that you didn't like the taste of a certain food, before you had ever even tried tasting it first, or, deciding you didn't want to see a certain movie because the title didn't sound like something you would enjoy. In other words, pre-judging a book by its cover.

For many years, I thought Newt Gingrich was a "goof" and had no idea what he was talking about. In truth, I erroneously based my opinion on what I had heard others say about him, a BIG mistake in any situation. Then, through happenstance, I began seeing, and most importantly, listening to what the man had to say regarding various domestic and world issues, and slowly, I began to change my erred opinion regarding him and had to admit that my opinion was seriously flawed.

If you would, watch this short 3 minute video regarding our current oil and energy fiasco and see what you you think.....

I like his idea's and what he's got to say....

And if'n ya would, check out this organization and sign it's petition that is sweeping the internet like wildfire.....I did.


Now Sir...I've been thirsty before...BUT NEVER THIS THIRSTY! Don't watch if'n yur squeamish....

Thanks Sue fer sending us this one.....AND...the Newt Gingrich video...

Notice on car. ( This is No Joke folks...please read)


On Friday night they parked in a public parking area. As they drove away he noticed a sticker on the rear window of the car. When he took it off after they got home, it was a receipt for gas. Luckily his friend had told him not to stop as it could be someone waiting for them to get out of the car. Then this email was received:


Heads up everyone! .. Husbands, wives, kids, everyone!!! Please, keep this circulating or post it on yur blogs...

You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view. When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!


If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this e-mail I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to women A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

...and lastly, if'n y'all think yur good at the simple game of Tic-Tac-Toe, try beatin the computer.

Turn yur sound on fer some verbal instructions....


This is a must to play!!!

---Click on the TicTacToe (below) to play. See if you can beat the computer....Betcha can't!