Monday...some thoughts on Marriage.. and some sundry PotPourri...
WHY AM I MARRIED?
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady in serted an ad in the classifieds:
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidew alk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."
...and in other news...An extremely rare Michelangelo painting has recently been discovered in a Senator's Mansion in New York State..... here t'is...
Well Sir...this next article and photygraffs have actually been around fer some time now...and I've posted this afor...but....just in case ya ain't never seen this here woman afore...I think y'all will find it interesting...and fer you men-folk out there...thought provoking....
Subj: 320 pound woman
The question is, What does a 320 pound woman look like?
Now, before you scroll down to look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 lbs looks like . .
Not exactly what you were expecting, is it??!!
The tallest and best proportioned woman in the world lives in Holland
She is 7'4' and weighs 320 lbs
What a relief! Now we ALL know we aren't overweight; we're just too damn short!
Now Sir...If'n these photygraffs were "Photo-Shopped"...they did a real good job...look at the shadows...
Have A Great Day
Well Sir....now that Obama has "Bitch-Slapped" the Hildebeast big time in SC....do y'all think that Billary will now play the....
even more than they have already...???
Hmmm...here's sumthin to ruin yur Monday...and yur week....
Some Health Facts....
During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 liter of urine.
In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles, etc.)
An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!
Annually you will shake hands with 6 women who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
Annually you will shake hands with 11 men who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.
In a lifetime 22 workmen will have examined the contents of your dirty linen basket.
At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other peoples' anal gases.
HAVE A GREAT WEEK...!!!
..and wash your hands!
I don't think I'll be shakin anyone's hand any time soon....