Sunday Sundries.....

Hmmm...maybe there is sumthin to this Global Warmin stuff....it just hit the Olympics...



Gotta Thank "Fish" frum Kentucky fer that one......
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It's Okay Missy, I'm sure this happens to all of us at some time or anuther....



Leave it to a Texan from Eagle Lake to send me that one.....


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THE EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
I know that some of you don't like to read long drawn out missives...
so here's the executive summary.........

John McCain--Time In: Congress- 26 Years, In the Military- 22 Years

Barack Obama-Time in: Congress- 143 DAYS, In the Military- 0

Summary Concluded.
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How does he do this without laughing???


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...and "Fish" from down Kentucky way sent us this here, brief piece of Nostalgia. I'm sure many of you watchin this will recall all of it.....

"On The Edge of Black & White"


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....that anonymous Texan strikes agin.....

Two trees.

It is hard to find a joke today without a dirty word or two in it, but, here is
one:

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, 'Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The birch says he cannot tell.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling.

The birch says, 'Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?'

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree.

He replies, 'It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.'

Now wipe that smile off your face. And pass it on!!

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Subj: BULL RIDE AND TEQUILA GONE WRONG !!!!!!!!

Next time you drink Tequila, this could be you!!!!



..I think I saw her with some Marines last week!
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....and finally, "Nedgar" sends us this great news headline with photo....

Model sues plastic surgeon in Mexico for not making her nipples even after a breast implant. The doctor said, "They looked good to me!"


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Saturday Sundries....

Well Now...my good buddy "The Chief" sent me this here OUTSTANDING Guiness Beer Commercial yesterday and I just had t'share with Y'all....

..ADULT CONTENT AHEAD!






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BUSTED!



Y'all gotta Thank "Charlie The Cop" fer that one....
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Good Dog...!


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BEING RETIRED

Working people frequently ask retired people what we do to make our
days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown to go to the
News Stand for the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was
only in there for about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out
a parking ticket.

I said to him, 'Come on, man, don't you have anything better to do than write a retired person a ticket? Why aren't you out chasing crooks or child molesters...that's out of your league, obviously!!!

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.'

He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him 'Barney Fife'. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes.

The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care...I came downtown on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said 'OBAMA' in 08.

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
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Now Sir...my first mate, "The Chief" made me very happy when he sent me this here "Jib Jab" card..... althoughhhh...I spose, now that I posted it, The Secret Service will be a watchin me, and maybe "The Chief" as well... (it just repeats the same scene so ya only need to watch it once or so....)

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/kngjiM7St9n47gwS

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Friday....

The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

- I do physical labor.
- I work at great depths.
- I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
- I work in a damp environment.
- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
- I work in high temperatures.
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response

Dear Penis:

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
- You do not work 8 hours straight.
- You fall asleep after brief work periods.
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
- You will retire well before you are 65.
- You are unable to work double shifts.

- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.

Sincerely,
V. Gina
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Oh Ya....I really like this guy's style......


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...and now fer a little Catholic humor plus some other stuff...

Confessional

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest,
'I almost had an affair with another woman.'

The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'

The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but
then stopped.'

The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.'

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.

He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'

The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'

...............................
Lemon Squeeze

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession.

Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons
into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'
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Catholic Dog

Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest
and asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for
the poor creature?'

Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something
for the creature.'

Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'

Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell me the dog was Catholic?

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Donation

Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'

'It is!'

'This is the Tax Dept. Can you help us?'

'I can!'

'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'

'I do!'

'Is he a member of your congregation?'

'He is!'

'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'

'He will.'
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Confession

An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:

Man: 'I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, children,
grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yesterday, I picked up two college girls, hitchhiking. We went to a motel, where I had sex with each of them three times.'

Priest: 'Are you sorry for your sins?'

Man: 'What sins?'

Priest: 'What kind of a Catholic are you?'

Man: 'I'm Jewish.'

Priest: 'Why are you telling me all this?'

Man: 'I'm 92 years old . . . I'm telling everybody!'

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Brothel Trip

An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a
young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.

'I'm 90 years old,' he says.

'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'

'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
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Senility

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.'

'That's not senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
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Pest Control

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover,'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the
bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

'Who are you?' he asked him.

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards!'

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OK...Y'ALL SUPPLY THE CAPTION......Be nice now....


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Life Guard takes bathroom break....



I wish it had shown just how many folks went back into the pool...
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PotPourri, "Obama...A Draft Dodger??? Perhaps..."

Well Sir....this'll ruin yur day fer sure.....


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Well Sir....I really like this guy's style......

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's Morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know just what he was doing.

George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny... He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home... and left it there all night!!!

You gotta love George .

Thanks "Chicago Charlie".....

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Now Sir...here be why this generation is called "The Y Generation."....


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....and here be some "Senior Humor" fer "The Chief"....









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....and "YankeeMom" sends us this cute video. Where was this guy when my 4 kids were growin up?


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....amnd my buddy "Fish" frum Kentucky offers up this here test fer men to see if'n they might be Gay.....


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....and "Nedgar" gives us some good old Navy humor with "Just what the Doctor ordered"....


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To the powerful women in my life:

Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor
in the morning, Satan shudders & says...
'Oh shit...she's awake!!
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...and this just in...here's the new buzz all over the internet about whether or not Obama ever registered for the Selective Service as required by law.....if not, he's NOT eligable to hold Federal Office....Hmmmmm

Selective Service Required: Did Obama Register?

By FreeDemcloseAuthor: FreeDem Name: Free Dem
Email: susanunpc@gmail.com
Site:
About: See Authors Posts (2) on July 1, 2008 at 9:31 AM in Barack Obama, Selective Service, eligibility

According to the Selective Service System, under the authority of the Military Selective Service Act (Act of June 24, 1948, c. 625, 62 Stat. 604, as amended; 50 U.S.C. App. 451 et seq.):

A man must be registered to be eligible for jobs in the Executive Branch of the Federal government and the U.S. Postal Service. Proof of registration is required only for men born after December 31, 1959.

The registration requirement was suspended in April 1975. It was resumed again in 1980 by President Carter in response to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan. Registration continues today as a hedge against underestimating the number of servicemen needed in a future crisis.

1-103. Persons born in calendar year 1961 shall present themselves for registration on any of the six days beginning Monday, July 28, 1980. (Source).

The obligation of a man to register is imposed by the Military Selective Service Act. The Act establishes and governs the operations of the Selective Service System.

Barack Obama, who states he was born in Aug. 1961, was required to register for the Selective Service in 1980. Did he?

Efforts to confirm his registration have been unsuccessful, and Sen. Obama has failed thus far to offer proof of registration, or authorize the SSS to release this information to the general public. It is in the public’s interest to know whether a potential president followed the law during his lifetime.

Sen. Obama can lay this issue to rest immediately by providing proof of his Selective Service registration, which is reqiured to serve in the Executive Branch. The President of the United States of America is the head of the Executive Branch of government. There has been plenty of obfuscation surrounding the matter of Sen. Obama’s birth certification. Hopefully the question of his Selective Service registration will be resolved more swiftly.

A Year of Losses......

"Friendship: a building contract you sign with laughter and break with tears."

"Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life." (** Being a cook, I've always liked that one**)

Well Sir, as many of you already know, a blog, for some folks, is an on-line journal, used for the purposes of recording and sharing what is happening in their lives. With only one exception, Cookie has opted to to primarily use my blog for the purposes of entertainment and humor. A place for folks to go and take a break from all the serious world news/events and politics. However, I will use it today to express my profound sense of loss and sadness.

About 3 months ago, as many of you know, I lost my life long friend of over 50 years through his death. Last night, I lost another friend, not from anything as understandable and blamable as death, but through a series of gross misunderstandings of information and purpose, exacerbated by the actions of a third party. I not only lost my good friend last evening, but, found it necessary to withdraw from participating in the "Airport Project", The Military Courtesy Room.

Going into details would accomplish little or nothing, so I'll spare everyone who may be taking the time to read this. The only purpose for this post is to help me vent my feelings of frustration, sadness and loss. He does not read this blog so there is no hidden agenda on that level, just a personal need on my part to talk about it.

I have always felt that material things such as projects, organizations, possessions (you get the idea) are, at best, temporary in this life. Friendship, and being there for a friend throughout one's life is what really matters when the final bell rings, so, suffering a friends loss is truly a painful and major incident. I have always placed a high value on my friends. It is the path we take in life, not the destination, that is what's really important.

If I were a poet like another friend of mine, Eitan (Greg), I could no doubt express my sentiments much better and in a more literary and poetic form, but I'm only a simple blogger who's lost something very valuable to him.

I know this post is out of character for the Cookie, so I apologize if I've needlessly wasted any one's time. I'll be back tomorrow or the next day with some good old fashioned humor and hopefully put a smile or two on your faces...

Some differences....

Well Sir, "Chicago Charlie" reminds us of the diffrences t'ween menfolk and womenfolk.....

** Click on the photygraff to enlarge it if'n y'all need to**












Now Sir, some of y'all just might recall this here photygraff from a few years back where this here plane slide off the runway after landing in a snow storm. There's also sumthin else in the picture y'all might just remember as well....



....and here be the way to tell whether there are Black Bears or Grizzly Bears around your campin area....again, **Click to Enlarge** if y'all need to...


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....and Missy Sandy frum down Tampa, FLA tells us that "all they ever found was the camera"....


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Remember folks, this Cuban immigrant (Mr. Alvarez Jr.) reminds us to use our heads so that history doesn't repeat itself. I was in my mid teens when this happened and vividly recall watching many TV news spots showing exactly what this man and what this letter is talking about....

Letter to the Editor from a Cuban. . .

A most interesting and foreboding letter.

From Richmond Times-Dispatch, Monday, July 7, 2008 ~

Dear Editor, Times-Dispatch:

'Each year I get to celebrate Independence Day twice. On June 30 I celebrate my independence day, and on July 4 I celebrate America's. This year is special, because it marks the 40Th anniversary of my independence. On June 30, 1968, I escaped Communist Cuba, and a few months later, I was in the United States to stay. That I happened to arrive in Richmond on Thanksgiving Day is just part of the story, but I digress. 'I've thought a lot about the anniversary this year.

The election-year rhetoric has made me think a lot about Cuba and what transpired there. In the late 1950s, most Cubans thought Cuba needed a change, and they were right. So when a young leader came along, every Cuban was at least receptive.

'When the young leader spoke eloquently and passionately and denounced the old system, the press fell in love with him. They never questioned who his friends were or what he really believed in. When he said he would help the farmers and the poor and bring free medical care and education to all, everyone followed. When he said he would bring justice and equality to all, everyone said, 'Praise the Lord.' And when the young leader said, 'I will be for change and I'll bring you change,' everyone yelled, 'Viva Fidel!'

'But nobody asked about the change, so by the time the executioner's guns went silent, the people's guns had been taken away. By the time everyone was equal, they were equally poor, hungry, and oppressed. By the time everyone received their free education, it was worth nothing. By the time the press noticed, it was too late, because they were now working for him. By the time the change was finally implemented, Cuba had been knocked down a couple of notches to Third-World status. By the time the change was over, more than a million people had taken to boats, rafts, and inner tubes. You can call those who made it ashore anywhere else in the world the most fortunate Cubans.

And now I'm back to the beginning of my story.

'Luckily, we would never fall in America for a young leader who promised change without asking, what change? How will you carry it out? What will it cost America?
'Would we?'

Manuel Alvarez, Jr.


Now Sir, just so that some idiot out there won't write in and comment to me that an armed dictatorship such as Fidel's can't happen in this country, I want to make it perfectly clear that we are NOT talking about that part of this man's letter. I have met and talked with certain folks who literally think that Obama is akin to the next Messiah and are NOT examining and questioning his vague promises of change, without asking the aforementioned questions. PLEASE....think before you vote this coming November. Examine everything you can about BOTH candidates and at least make an informed decision....

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Sunday shorts....

Well Sir, below is a collection of photygraffs, some of which are great examples of how our fine Military men and women blow off a little steam and have some fun, and others are pix of some of the Militray cut-backs planned by "The Obamanation"...

BTW, one of the photygraffs shows how nasty and sneaky Al-Queda is gettin with some of their traps engineered to lure in our soldiers....

** Click To Enlarge** if'n y'all need to....













Now THIS is just downright dastardly......








How t'hide frum yur wife when yur home on Leave.....







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A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?'

The man said 'No', so she gave him a hug and walked on. The second
woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?'

The man said 'No', so she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third
really beautiful woman came up to him and said, 'Have you ever
been f***ed?'

The really excited fellow said 'No'.
She said, 'You will be when the tide comes in.'
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New product just introduced fer Jihadist's....


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The first thing the old "Cookie" did before postin this next article was to "Snope" it to ascertain its veracity, and I'll be damned if'n it ain't TRUE! Maybe some of y'all already knew this, but it was news to Cookie. I just can't believe what this man stands for and represents, and the number of folks who think he literally walks on water and will vote for him.....

Obama The Patriot - Removes American Flag From His Plane

Barack Obama recently finished a $500,000 total overhaul of his 757. And as part of the new design, he decided to remove the American flag from the tail ...
What American running for President of the United States would remove the symbol of his country? And worse, he replaced the flag with an ambiguous symbol of himself ..."




If'n y'all wanna check out the truth of this just go to:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/airplane.asp