Just some Sunday Sundries.. Plus...sumthin new t'the Cookshack..

Well Sir...as is typical fer a Sunday...I'm somewhat lazy t'day...so here be just a few humorous photygraffs..... Just a tad bit of nudity ahead...shouldn't offend anybody...

...er...excuse me! You live where???

...Hmmm...good advice.

...looks like this cow didn't quite make it over the moon......

...and speakin of cows just hangin around....

...Like they say...They grows em big in Texas...

..."Best friend!"...hell...I don't even know this guy...

...Guess that answers that question!...

...Meet you Where!!....


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The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

"You may visit this store ONLY ONCE!
There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights.
You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor,
but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 -
These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads:

Floor 2
- These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads:

Floor 3 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 -
You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
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The Haircut

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he
asked about his bill and the barber replies, "I cannot accept money
from you. I'm doing community service this week." The florist was
pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a
'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his
bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week." The cop is happy and leaves
the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a
'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when
he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money
from you. I'm doing community service this week." The professor is
very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you'
card and a dozen different books, such as "How to Improve Your
Business" and "Becoming More Successful.

"Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay
his bill the barber again replies, "I cannot accept money from you. I'm
doing community service this week." The Congressman is very happy and
leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between
the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

So True!
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...and...thanks to the fine tutelage of my good friend the Chief over at Smoldering Embers...this is my first attempt at placing animated implants...er...I mean embeds...inta my blog posts...

THANKS CHIEF....

I've received a most prestigious award....

Well Sir....I've been given a great honor by my good amigo the Chief over at Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire...

Now Sir...fer those a you that kinda follow these things, The Chief and I are constantly bustin each others cajones unmercifully on a regular basis...cause he's and old Jarhead and I'm an old Seabee (it's sorta like a tradition between us). Marines and "Bee's" almost always wurk together, hell...the Marines are the folks that combat train us so's we can protect our sorry ass's...but...a Seabee is a Seabee(Navy)...and a Marine is a Marine...and never the twain shall meet, hence...ball bustin is hard wired inta us...

But Sir...in his infinite generosity, the Chief has seen fit to bestow me with this award, given for the first time ever here at the Cookshack, partially because of the Gourmet Braised Turnip recipe I posted and his wife was good enough to try...AND...I guess it was very well received by both he and his family at Thanksgiving....

So...without further bullshit...er...I mean adieu...here's the Award...



Thanks Chief....I'm very humbled and honored...but don't let it go to yur head....

My new book finally hits the bookshelves....

...Well Sir...after alot of hard work...research and phew...all that posing in differant positions...my new book finally hits the bookstores.....NAHHH...just funnin with y'all..

But there is a real book out there not written by the Cookie....looks funny and interestin... probably make a unique Christmas gift fer someone... like that old Jarhead Chief over at Smoldering Embers...ahem...ahem....

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OK...now that I've got the attention of all you perverts...here's some great recipe's fer ya from the Cookie man that yur sure to enjoy.... I know, I know...it's close to Thanksgivin and all, but see'n as how every other food blog out there has all kinds of Holiday recipe's...I just thought I'd be cantankerous and differant....

Beer Battered Fried Mushrooms

2 or 3 packages of Mushrooms
1 box of Bisquick pancake mix
2 bottles of your favorite beer, one fer you t’drink while yur cookin, and the other fer the batter.

Vegetable or Peanut Oil for deep frying

Wash mushrooms and trim off the hard end of the stems. Pat dry.

Dredge all the mushrooms that you will be deep frying into DRY Bisquick mix…this will help the batter to stay on the mushrooms.

Heat oil in a deep fryer, or deep skillet with enough oil to cover.

Place 2 cups of the Bisquick Mix in a bowl and pour in enough beer so that the resulting mixture is just a touch on the thin side ( so that a little will drip off the mushroom after you’ve coated it.)

Dip each mushroom into the mixture, let excess drip off, and place into heated oil. Fry the mushrooms, until golden brown and drain on paper towels.

NOTE: If’n ya want beer battered fish pieces…do exactly the same procedure only use your fish fillets or pieces….
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Marinated Venison Steaks

The great thing about this is that you can marinating yur Venison steaks while yur out huntin fer bambi’s mommy or daddy…

These amounts are for 3 to 4 steaks, but if’n ya got a larger huntin party and more steaks to cook…increase the ingredient amounts appropriately…

1/3 cup of Worchestershire Sauce
1/3 cup of Olive Oil
¾ teaspoon of Onion salt
2 cloves of Garlic, minced
½ teaspoon of black pepper
2 Tablespoons of Lemon Juice

Mix all the above Marinade ingredients and put into a sealable plastic bag. Add yur steaks, seal bag making sure all the meat is coated, and let marinade for 3-5 hours.

When ready to cook, cook on a BBQ grill over hot coals, or a broiler if’n ya have one in the camp kitchen. Only cook for about 4 to 5 minutes a side. Serve and ENJOY!
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Venison Pasta Soup

Ain’t nuthin that tastes as great a a hearty bowl of hot soup on a cold fall or winters day when yur huntin or fishin. Here’s a simple and easy to make soup that y’all are gonna love…
4-5 cans of a good Beef broth/stock
1 bag of Extra Wide Egg Noodles
¾ lb of ground Venison (or hamburger if’n yur out of venison)
1 Medium onion, chopped
2 stalks of Celery, chopped
2 Tablespoons of Butter
2 cloves of Garlic, chopped (or Garlic salt if’n ya’d prefer)
Chopped chives
Salt & Pepper to taste
Grated Parmesan cheeze

In a frying pan, brown yur ground venison and garlic over medium heat in the butter.

NOTE: If ya don’t have any fresh Garlic, you can use Garlic salt but add it to the soup in the next step when you add the venison, celery and onions.

Heat the Beef stock to boiling and add egg noodles. Cook as to package directions. When done, add the browned venison, celery and onions to soup.

Add Salt & Pepper to yur likin, and simmer fer about 10 minutes or so. Garnish the soup with the chopped chives and Parmesan cheeze and serve with a good Italian bread…. Mmmm Mmm.