Friday, March 16, 2007

A little Irish humor.......


Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!"

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."

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Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

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Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney. "Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!" "Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"

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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut . The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees."Really," said Charles, "Now that's a switch! What did she say?" She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."

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Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.

A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw blood.

He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night weren't you?"Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?""Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly.....it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.
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Paddy and Sean where drinkin in a pub one evening, and after several good stiff belts, Paddy says to Sean, "Sean me good friend...when I die, would ya mind pouring a bottle of Ireland's finest whiskey over me grave?"

"Sure'n I'll be do'n that fer ya Paddy, but would ya be mindin if I passed it through me kidneys first?"

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Remember this while yur protectin The Wall....

Well Sir...I'll just let this here video speak fer me regardin The Gathering of Eagles.......TURN YUR SOUND ON mates...



It's Hilldebeast Day.....


Walking Eagle

Two weeks ago here in upstate New York, Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation. She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first female President. She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "YES" for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval.

Although the Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers."

At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs of how they had come to select the new name given to the Senator. They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.





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The Democratic National Committee is currently polling Americans through the internet to determine the electability of Hillary Clinton for the presidency of the United States in 2008.

If you would like to show your support for Hillary and encourage her to continue to run for President of the United States in 2008 please add your name to the bottom of the list below and send it on.

Please forward and don't break the chain. This poll has been circulating since 1/03/07

1.




Hat Tip's: Sue & Pam fer yur submissions...Thanks Amiga's....

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

A Gatherin of Eagles......




Well Sir...its almost here...the great Gatherin of the Eagles down at "The Wall" in DC....

So...if'n ya can make it...here's a chance to make a statement while protecting the Wall frum any damage the anti-war crowd might be plannin to do to it.....


Some of the folks I know that are fortunate enuff t'be goin down are leaving either today...or tomorrow...God Bless ya guys....and thanks agin to the two Marines who told me they were goin in my place because I cain't......

The proper permits for the Gatherin have been issued by the DC Parks Department...however...they have restricted us to a smaller area than we requested...but we'll still be able to cover the Wall......


Michelle Malkin will be there "live-bloggin"...so we'll be able to get up to the minute info......

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

A stolen R Rated post.....

Well Sir...I was perusin around at one a my new blog mates blogs...Still-Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire.... and when I saw this...it just really struck the old Cookie's funny bone real good...so I just brazenly stole it and posted it here.......


































Now Sir...this is sumthin I just never knew...Oklahoma is really two wurds...Okla and Homa...check out what Sue gertson frum Texas sent me to set me straight...er....I mean correct me.....

A couple a new blog mates....





Well Sir...the Cookie made a couple a new blog acquaintenences this here day...

....the first bein a man after the old Cookie's heart....he's an old Marine (remember...there ain't no such animal as an EX-Marine....once a Marine...Always a Marine)...and anyways...he writes somethin like the Cookie and seems t'be just about as cantankerous...his blog is called "Smoldering Embers In A Mohawk Campfire"...

and he's got some really good...and funny stuff posted over there...so get yur butts on over and pay him a visit...tell him the Cookie sent ya.....



...and the other blog is called The Deer Camp Blog... and...ain't no surprise that its all about huntin...just about every kind a huntin ya can think of....

In fact...it was Rex over at the Deer Camp who first contacted me about his blog...and his Uncle Remus style story (a previous post)...and frum there I met Mohawk Chieftan frum the Campfire...

Anyways....pay them both a visit...the Chieftan seems like a nice guy...but I can just tell...don't get him riled...remember...he's an old Jarhead.....and a Native ( Onondaga Indian word for Native is "Unguayhooay") Chief to boot...

BTW...Unguayhooay means "People of the Land".... that's a most appropriate wurd I believe....

Cookie....

Y'all gotta watch this....an honest, objective journalist....

Well Sir....I just saw this over at Yankee Mom and had to post it as well....

Finally...someone who also see's the real evil that our military men/women are observing every day......

Why dumb folks shouldn't own Horses....

Well Sir....Sue down Texas way sent me this here reminder bout why some folks just shouldn't own or be around horses.... here's 10 seconds of sheer stupidity......

Monday, March 12, 2007

Just a reminder.......

Well Sir...here be anuther reminder bout this great Gatherin of Eagles down at "the Wall" in DC this comin Saturday......

I know...I know...it be St. Paddy's Day...but there will be other St. Paddy's Days...so....

Let's show the Fonda's, Robbins, Penn's and other oxygen wasters just what grit we're made frum......



...besides...all you Irish Vets can wear green fatigues if'n ya want.......

Just some assorted foolishness....


Ahh...I think it might be a good time t'leave mate...

"Who's that knockin at the door...who's that ringin the bell..."





Ah Yes...the good old NYS Dept. of Transportation...




OUCH !!!!!





...and finally...good uses fer yur old computer.....