Something fer our wounded Military folks...and some Assistance needed....

Well Sir....yesterday, my friend Gina Elise notified me that she was looking for some sponsors to help defray the cost of her new Calender. In case yur not familiar with the lovely Gina, she produces a "Retro" Calendar reminiscent of the WWII type pinups and then distributes them for free to our wounded men coming back from the war, and to patients at the VA Hospitals around the country.

You can purchase some Advertisement space in her Calander, or put in a personal message to our brave men and women for between $50.00 and $100.00. Any of you old Vets out there that belong to one of the many Vet's organizations, bring this up at your next meeting and lets see if'n we cain't help this fine, and very attractive young woman to help cheer up our Military folks.

You can contact Gina at her website, www.pinupsforvets.com/
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Bran Muffins

"The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

"One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!'


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Some great advice......


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...and, would you like me to spice that up for you?

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Your assistance is required....

I just received word from my friend Patrick from over at "PRH...A Day in the Life" that he was having considerable difficulty navigating my blog. If any one else is having the same problem...PLEASE LET ME KNOW so I can attempt to rectify whatever may be causing this.....

THANKS, COOKIE...

S'more good stuff....

Hmmm....gotta get me one a these fer when The Obamessiah and/or one of his Obamatron's speaks.....

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On television yesterday, a Democratic operative pointed out that when Obama holds a rally 25-30,000 people show up, whereas when McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.

The Republican spokesman replied,

"That's because McCain's supporters are at work." (And that's no joke....)
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Our future leaders.....but when ya think about it...they cain't do much worse than todays leaders....


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Why parents drink

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello ? '

'Is your daddy home?' he asked.

' Yes ,' whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?'

The child whispered, ' No .'

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mommy there?'

'Yes.'

'May I talk with her?'

Again the small voice whispered, 'No .'

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'

' Yes ,' whispered the child, ' a policeman '.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'

' No, he's busy ', whispered the child.

'Busy doing what?'

' Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ,' came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'

' A helicopter ' answered the whispering voice.

'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, ' The search team just landed a helicopter .'

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...

' ME .'
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'Hello, technical support, how can I help you'?

LADY: 'Last night my computer started making a lot of hissing
noise at me so I shut it down. This morning when I turned it on
the computer started hissing and cracking, then started smoking
and a bad smell, then nothing'.

SUPPORT: 'I will have a technician come over first thing this
morning, just leave the computer just like it is, so they can find
the problem and fix it, or change it out with another computer.
Give me your address; phone number and the technician will be
there just as soon as they can'.

When the technician got there, the lady showed the technician
where the computer was, said what happened to it; this is what
the technician found wrong. Take a look at the pictures... you
won't b elieve your eyes !!!!!

And you thought you've had computer problems!!!





'South African Spitting Cobra' - better known as
'Mfezi' the 'Staffie' of the African snake species!!

The technician told her: It must h ave been after the mouse!
The woman didn't think it was very funny at all.
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Hmmm....speaks fer itself. Gotta hope my blonde daughter don't see this..ahh....she's kinda sensitive about this topic....




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Gotta Thank the usual suspects fer the above submissions: "Chicago Charlie", Upstate Nikki" and Susan Gerston....

Thoisday.....WOOO WOOOO WOOO....

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Well Sir...here be a photygraff of what Congress has been doin these past many years before the catastopic failure of Fannie & Freddie, and other inept/corrupt financial institutions...


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Now Sir...if'n y'all appreciate a great pool shot, and aren't offended by some NUDITY....y'all are gonna love this shot by a naked white chick......

Thanks "Chief".....






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Well Sir...."Charlie the Cop" sends us this oldie but goody...but always worth a reprint....

A wealthy family took their frail, elderly grandmother to a famous and expensive nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses luxuriously bathed her- fed her a tasty breakfast cooked by a famous chef, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.

Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side.

The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning.

Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.

"So Grandma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replied.

"Except they won't let me fart."

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S'more headlines frum "Upstate Nikki" that shoulda been proof read first.....







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Well Sir...heres an interestin E-mail I received yesterday, and although I generally do not post the majority of these I receive, I felt this one was important enough to pass along.



Now Sir...since I'm very busy as of late, I do not have the time to check on all the "facts" and the story's veracity, so here's my request. Although I've verified some of it....If there anyone out there who has the time to thoroughly investigate this...please do, and leave a comment as to whether this is partially or completely true or is incorrect in some way. I will then either remove this post or let it stand...Thanks!

Here is a quick look into 3 former Fannie Mae executives who have brought down Wall Street.

Franklin Raines was a Chairman and Chief Executive Officer at Fannie Mae.

Raines was forced to retire from his position with Fannie Mae when auditing
discovered severe irregulaties in Fannie Mae's accounting activities. At the
time of his departure The Wall Street Journal noted, ' Raines, who long defended
the company's accounting despite mounting evidence that it wasn't proper, issued
a statement late Tuesday conceding that 'mistakes were made' and saying he would
assume responsibility as he had earlier promised. News reports indicate the
company was under growing pressure from regulators to shake up its management in
the wake of findings that the company's books ran afoul of generally accepted
accounting principles for four years.' Fannie Mae had to reduce its surplus by
$9 billion. Raines left with a 'golden parachute valued at $240 Million in
benefits. The Government filed suit against Raines when the depth of
the accounting scandal became clear.

http://housingdoom.com/2006/12/18/fannie-charges/

The Government noted, 'The 101 charges reveal how the individuals improperly manipulated earnings to maximize their bonuses, while knowingly neglecting accounting systems and
internal controls, misapplying over twenty accounting principles and misleading
the regulator and the public. The Notice explains how they submitted six years
of misleading and inaccurate accounting statements and inaccurate capital
reports that enabled them to grow Fannie Mae in an unsafe and unsound manner.'
These charges were made in 2006. The Court ordered Raines to return $50 Million
Dollars he received in bonu ses based on the miss-stated Fannie Mae profits.

Tim Howard - Was the Chief Financial Officer of Fannie Mae.

Howard 'was a strong internal proponent of using accounting strategies that would ensure a
'stable pattern of earnings' at Fannie. In everyday English - he was cooking the
books. The Government Investigation determined that, 'Chief Financial Officer,
Tim Howard, failed to provide adequate oversight to key control and reporting
functions within Fannie Mae,'

On June 16, 2006, Rep. Richard Baker, R-La., asked the Justice Department to
investigate his allegations that two former Fannie Mae executives lied to
Congress in October 2004 when they denied manipulating the mortgage-finance
giant's income statement to achieve management pay bonuses. Investigations by
federal regulators and the company's board of directors since concluded that
management did manipulate 1998 earnings to trigger bonuses. Raines and Howard
resigned under pressure in late 2004. Howard's Golden Parachute was estimated
at $20 Million!

Jim Johnson - A former executive at Lehman Brothers and who was later forced
from his position as Fannie Mae CEO. A look at the Office of Federal Housing
Enterprise Oversight's May 2006 report on mismanagement and corruption inside
Fannie Mae, and you'll see some interesting things about Johnson. Investigators
found that Fannie Mae had hidden a substantial amount of Johnson's 1998
compensation from the public, reporting that it was between $6 million and $7
million when it fact it was $21 million.' Johnson is curre ntly under investigation for taking illegal loans from Countrywide while serving as CEO of
Fannie Mae.

Johnson's Golden Parachute was estimated at $28 Million.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? I'll bet ya already got some idea.....

FRANKLIN RAINES? Raines works for the Obama Campaign as Chief Economic Advisor

TIM HOWARD? Howard is also a Chief Economic Advisor to Obama

JIM JOHNSON? Johnson hired as a Senior Obama Finance Advisor and was selected to run Obama's Vice Presidential Search Committee

IF OBAMA PLANS ON CLEANING UP THE MESS - HIS ADVISORS CERTAINLY HAVE THE EXPERTISE

- THEY MADE THE MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE. Would you trust the men who tore Wall Street down to build the New Wall Street,

but most importantly...WOULD YOU TRUST THE MAN WHO HIRED THEM AS ADVISORS TO HIS CAMPAIGN ?
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NOW...here is a very interesting C-SPAN video of Republicans pleading for oversight and regulation of FREDDIE & FANNIE....and Democrats objecting and stating unequivocally that THERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THESE AGENCIES.
Make up your own minds as to who was covering up for who's ass.......

This is video from a couple of years ago...while all the impropriaties were going on and happening...


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Wednesday....

Ahhh....maybe somebody should proof read the headlines first....







HAT TIP: "Nikki" from upstate NY....
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BELIEVE it or not ,
These are REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house
on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergenc y?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and
cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite
out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired
of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an
eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband !

And the winner is...........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath.
Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

HAT TIP: John Keating from the midwest....
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I'm gonna repost this from the other day....that's how damn strongly I feel about all this political bickering while nuthin gets done.....

STOP!

To ALL politicians....STOP the God damned finger pointing!

"Fix the problems...NOT the blame"

Both parties are doing nothing but pointing fingers and blaming each other for all the fucking problems we are now experiencing and the truth is...BOTH parties are to blame...starting many years back. You do nothing but waste time, and taxpayer money by all this blaming.

Watching all the news today following the failure of the House to pass the "bailout" bill was like watching little immature little children pointing fingers at each other saying "He did it" and "He started it." It literally made me sick!

ENOUGH!
I don't know how the rest of Y'all feel but I am so sick of all this "blame game" shit that my attitude is now very simple. If you're an incumbent...

I'M VOTING YOU OUT!

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Tuesday.....just a short post....

_______________________________

Yupper...yur a real dickhead fer sure.....


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THE INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,

'If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'

The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.'

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.

He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.

She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story?????



OH, Come on...take a guess!



Think about it............



(You're going to love this!)



Very simply, the moral is..................



YOU CAN'T KILL TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!!!!
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Enuff I say!

STOP!

To ALL politicians....STOP the God damned finger pointing!

"Fix the problems...NOT the blame"

Both parties are doing nothing but pointing fingers and blaming each other for all the fucking problems we are now experiencing and the truth is...BOTH parties are to blame...starting many years back. You do nothing but waste time, and taxpayer money by all this blaming.

Watching all the news today following the failure of the House to pass the "bailout" bill was like watching little immature little children pointing fingers at each other saying "He did it" and "He started it." It literally made me sick!

ENOUGH!

I don't know how the rest of Y'all feel but I am so sick of all this "blame game" shit that my attitude is now very simple. If you're an incumbent...

I'M VOTING YOU OUT!

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Well Sir...I still don't know who the hell this guy is after seeing three of his video's...but he sure tells it like it is....Good On Ya Mate!



WARNING! The topic matter of these three videos are of highly controversial subjects. If you are a liberal Democrat, trust me, you DO NOT want to watch these as they will only serve to infuriate and upset you.

If you are a somewhat conservative Democrat (Hmmm...now that's bordering on being an oxymoron) who has a modicum of common sense and a logical thought process, then you might actually agree with some of this man's views, as I do.

AGAIN...if you are a strong Obama supporter, a staunch, dyed in the wool Democrat who supports ALL the Democratic party lines...DO NOT WATCH THESE VIDEO'S!

Y'all have been strongly warned, so I don't want to be bombarded with nasty ass comments and/or long, intellectualized rationalizations based on liberal gobbledygook.






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