Saturday, January 05, 2008

My wife is a Submariner as well.... a little "travelog" fer y'all...

Well Sir...a few years back my wife and myself went to Hawaii to specifically visit the Arizona Memorial in Peal Harbor...and after doing so...we then visited the USS Missourri..."The Mighty Mo"...and then on to the WWII Submarine exhibit. Later, we went for a dive on one of the Atlantis Submarine'n ya ever get a chance it...all visits are well worth your time and money.....

NOTE: At the end of this short video, at the bottom of the YouTube screen...move your cursor to the video "Atlantis IV, LaHaina Maui Short Trip" and play that. It'll give you a much better idea of what the experience is all about....

Below is the USS Arizona Memorial...silence is you'll's quite somber and beautiful.....

We then continued on and toured the "Mighty Mo"....

The USS Bowfin, Pearl Harbor. The small monuments you see in the beginning are monuments to all the boats that are on "Eternal Patrol"....

Friday, January 04, 2008

This is why I use an Evinrude Engine fer Fishin....

That is if'n YouTube will function properly....

Of Course...this time a year...I just cain't chop the ice in front of the boat fast enuff to keep up with the engine....

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got an out-sourced call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.




For centuries, Hindu women have worn a red spot on their foreheads. We have always naively thought that it had something to do with their religion. The true story has recently been revealed by the Indian Embassy in Washington, D.C.

When one of these women gets married, she brings with her, a dowry. On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the red spot to see if he has won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop or a motel in the United States .

Thanks t'my good buddy "Brownie" fer sendin these to me.....

Flyin the T-6 Texan.....

...and...some of my friends out there might recall that this Summer, courtesy of my lovely wife, I flew a T-6 Texan Fighter/Trainer out of Geneseo, NY. Well Sir...I've got a video of that flight...BUT...since I have absolutley no idear whatsoever on how to transfer it to my's a YouTube video of a gentleman flying the same Warbird plane that I flew and doing some of the same aerobatics....ENJOY....(and NO...Cookie didn't loose his cookies...)

....Notice that I obviously sample way too much of my own cookin and that a stripped shirt don't make me look much thinner...

Friday Funnies......

Womens Love Poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'l l make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Men's Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.

Hmmm...not sure if I'd feel comfortable usin this here product....

Gorilla Snot

Gorilla Snot is a gripping aid. It has been developed by and for professionals who demand flexibility, functionality, and efficiency in the tools of their trade. A non-gooey, naturally refined tree rosin, Gorilla Snot reacts with your body's natural chemistry and heat output to retain a steady grip on picks drumsticks, bows, and any other hard to grip instruments.

....and just gotta have a Blonde Joke every now and agin....

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One
would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to
the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl
digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they
were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you
two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole,
only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably
looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who
plants the trees called in sick.'

Six Affairs.....

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One

day they went to her place and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM . The man

hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes

outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his

shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife

demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an

affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She

looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying jerk!

You've been playing golf!"

The 2nd Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always

talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time

for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and

delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to

the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the

ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's

no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two !

beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling

around be hind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and

replied: "Not this time!"

The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body

of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling

discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever

seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician
commented, "I

can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive

private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he

removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have something to show you won't believe," he said to his

wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed,

"Schwartz is dead!"

The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover when she

heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said,

"stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him,

then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell

you," she said, " pretend you're a statue." "What's this?"

the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a

statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it

so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when

they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to

the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "

Here," he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that

for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a


The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer

Certainly Sir , that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man

exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a

nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine? "A nickel," the

barman replied. "A nickel? " exclaimed the man. "Where's the

guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs,

with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with

your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing

to his business down here!"

The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up

and said weakly: "I have something I must confess." "There's

no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to

die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend,

her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison

A big Thanks to both "Charlie the Cop" and Susan Gertson fer sendin me these....

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Just a little humor to finish yur day off with....

Sensitivity Trainin....sent t'me by my good friend Susan Gertson down Texas way....Thanky Susan

Attention Iowa'n Democrats and Independents....

Well Sir....before ya do yur thing in yur various Caucii...or Caucases...or this and you really want this woman as yur next President...???

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Thursday.... The Day Iowa Stood Still.... GORT, KLAATU, BARADA, NIKTO...

Well Sir...I liked this so much...and I know that a few of ya didn't clicky de linky and check it I'm gonna post it again.....


....and my original Alma Mater...... The USS Piper SS 409.....


...and Again I say to you Iowan's... remember the ENTIRE Clinton legacy before ya caucus... The stolen furniture and china, the numerous scandals, the bought & paid for Presidential pardons to Felon's....etc., etc., etc.....

Because they're out of sight....

Well Sir....because these brave men are out of sight and out of mind (except fer our enemy's)...and they aren't in the news everyday...we tend to ferget about them during the Holidays....


...and fer all you Navy Seabee's out there...Go HERE.....(Sound on) ...The Song of the Seabee's...

Been there...done the T-Shirt...

Wednesday Wanks...

Well here's a great example of cuttin yur nose off to spite yur face that was sent t'me by "Charlie the Cop" in Chicago....

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.' I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!

'So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... 'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.' She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit." We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.' Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.....


....with Wind Chill....It be -7 degree's here in Bridgeport, NY...



You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?



* Get your drunk-ass off the merry-go-round. *

Hillary's Indian Name

Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of The
Oneida Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York State (right down the street frum the Cookie man)

....She spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native
American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first
female President.

She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed 'YES,
'for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval. Although the
Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic
about her future ideas for helping her 'red sisters and brothers'.

At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented the Senator with a
plaque inscribed with her new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud
Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds.

A news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs of how they had come
to select the new name given to the Senator. They explained that Walking
Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

*(Thanks Pat fer sindin this along to me....)

"Cliff's" Buffalo Theory.....Hmmmm....makes sense t'me it does....

**Thanks agin Charlie....

Attention Iowan's......How Soon We Ferget.....

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Yet anuther reason why I have such disdain and contempt for Lawyers...

Well Sir...I copied this in it's entirety frum Black Five.... To all you bloggers out there...let's give this slimeball shyster all the bad Public Relations we can give him....

Anti-Military Lawyer Damages Marine's Car on Eve of His Deployment

Posted By Blackfive

NOTE: There is an important update about the hearing today at the end of the post.

This ought to make your blood boil. And this Marine should receive a commendation for not kicking the living crap out of the guy...seriously.

Marine Sgt Mike McNulty is on activation orders to Iraq (second tour). On December 1st, 2007, Mike went to visit a friend in Chicago before deploying to say goodbye. In order to get to his friend's residence, and keep in mind that Chicago is a myriad of diagonal and one-way streets, the front entrance (right way) to the one-way street was blocked. Mike, being a Marine, overcame and adapted by driving around the block to the other end of the street and backing up all the way to his friend's place.

While saying goodbye, at about 11am, he noticed a man leaning up against his car. Mike left his friend's apartment and caught the man keying his car on multiple sides.

After caught in the process, the man told Mike, "you think you can do whatever you want with Department of Defense license plates and tags". (In Illinois you can purchase veteran, Marine, or medal plates. Mike has Illinois Marine Corps license plates.) During the exchange, he made additional anti-military comments.

Mike called the Chicago police and had the man arrested. A citation against the man was issued for misdemeanor criminal damage to private property.

The police report (and I have copies if needed) states:

Victim related to P/O that as he walked back to his vehicle, he observed the offender leaning up against his vehicle and rubbed/dragged his left arm and hand across the passenger side. As offender walked away from victim's vehicle, victim observed a scratch along the rear trunk and passenger's door area where offender dragged his arm and hand over.

Victim and witness stopped offender and confronted him. Victim has military plates and decals on his vehicle and offender made anti war and military comments to victim. Upon P/O's arrival to scene, offender denied scratch victim's vehicle, but did admit to rubbing past it. Victim at this time did not sign complaint, because he is leaving tour for military duty. Offender said they accused him of scratching the car because he is Jewish. Offender's statements/responses to P/O's questions unreasonable.

As it turns out, the man is Chicago lawyer Jay R. Grodner, who owns a law firm in the city and has offices in the suburbs.

After sending the car to the body shop, it was determined there is $2400 in damage, making this a felony. Mike went to court Friday morning to collect the damages against Mr. Grodner and file felony charges. Though the damages are over $300 (the amount which determines felony or misdemeanor) Grodner offered Mike to pay his deductible, $100, and have Mike's insurance pay for it.

The Illinois States Attorneys tried to coerce Mike into accepting the offer. Appalled, Mike said he wanted this to be a felony. The state told Mike that it was not worth pursuing felony damage against Grodner because they don't have the time. In addition, the state prosecutors told him that he would never it 'would be difficult to recover the damages' from Grodner because he is a lawyer.

Instead, the State asked Mike if he would accept probation for Grodner. Mike accepted, probation was offered to Grodner, and Grodner declined the offer, saying within ear shot of Mike, "I'm not going to make it easy on this kid". Mike's next court date is tomorrow, Monday, December 31st, to pursue misdemeanor charges against Grodner.

Mike's leave is over on January 2nd when he reports to Camp Pendleton before heading to Iraq.
Jay Grodner knows this and is going to file for a continuance until Mike is gone and cannot appear in court.

By account of the Illinois State's Attorneys, Grodner is likely to get away with defacing Mike's car with no penalty because, 1) Mike is about to deploy to Iraq and will not be available to appear in court, and 2) Grodner is a lawyer and can get out of this very easily.

So, does anyone have any ideas about how to proceed? All peaceful and rational ideas are welcomed. We are contacting the media about this, too.

Please pass this story on to anyone you know that might be able to help.

Update 12-31-07 1000 CST: The hearing is today. After about four hundred emails offering help, I've taken down the email address for now. If I haven't sent you a reply, I apologize and hopefully will send one soon.

I will post updates as they occur. There are several options and we'll see what happens in court first before Mike decides on the next move.

And, BTW, a sincere thanks to all the Chicago Police Officers for their advice and offers.
Let me be clear. I do not want anyone to harass the lawyer, threaten him, damage his property or propose any other illegal suggestion. We can win this one clean and fair - one way or another...

Update 12-31-07 2000 CST: A Blackfive reader sends this update about the hearing today...

Attn: Black Five, I am writing to produce an update of the results of Sgt McNulty's case against Jay R Grodner. I was present in support of Mike and thought you may be interested in an update for this story. Sgt McNulty was called forward by the State's Attorney in order to discuss the case. I am not sure what transpired behind the closed doors, however, I overheard the State's Attorney expressing her intent to prosecute this guy to the fullest extent.

It seems as if BlackFive is the sole catalyst to this story getting out and I am sure Sgt McNulty has probably heard the effect of yours and other blogs from the results of today's proceedings to include several Marines and civilians who showed up in his support. Jay R Grodner was called before court and in his absence, the Judge issued a warrant for his arrest effective immediately.

Sgt McNulty was departing the court when Grodner rolled in to the courtroom more pathetic than anyone I had ever seen. The Judge had questioned him on his tardiness and he explained that traffic had been busy and he 'made a wrong turn'.

The Judge chastised him for his tardiness, pathetic excuses, and that he was lucky the warrant had not been executed prior to his arrival. It seems the blogosphere has put the ball in Sgt McNulty's court. Furthermore, it is also apparent that the State's Attorney's Office has decided to take this matter on a much more serious level.

A new and very aggressive State's Attorney seems to have a genuine interest in pursuing this case to the extent that it warrants.

A lot of good people deserve our thanks today. Thousands responded with emails and phone calls and some even went to support Mike at the hearing. Thank you. I've said it before and I'll say it again - Blackfive and military blogs have the best readers on the planet - we really are a true community.

And, long time regular TB, sends this link to a Free Republic reader who also attended the hearing and provides a report.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to ring in the New Year. Twelve years ago, Mrs. Blackfive (before the "Mrs.") and I had our first date, and our first kiss was at midnight. We have a tradition to maintain.

Thank you! And have a Happy New Year!

Cookie's Note: Both on Black Five and another blog, some bloggers gave out his business office address, phone numbers and e-mail address's. I "Googled" him and found a couple of listings and e-mails for him as well....and Guess What? They've all been taken down and are unreachable....

He must have received so many e-mails and phone calls from all of us that he had to close things down until the heats off. I Love it when a plan comes together.....YES!

An Old Irish New Years Blessin fer y'all.....

Well Sir....both my good buddies Jeff Wilson and "Myron" happen to send me this great Irish Blessing...and its so nice...I'm gonna share it with Y'all.....

A Happy, Safe and Prosperous New Year to All....

Monday, December 31, 2007

This is AWESOME.....

Well Sir....This was sent to me my good buddy "Fish" from down Kentucky way....and it's one of the most beautiful versions of the Battle Hymn of the Republic I've ever heard. It's performed by Public School kids from grade school to High School....and it's OUTSTANDING!!! THIS is what Patriotism is all about.....

Give a'll probably bring a tear or two t'yur eye....did mine....


A Big Old Cookshack Hat Tip to "Fish" fer sendin this to me....Thanks Amigo...

....and some good old 50's nostalgia fer y'all.....

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Some Public Service information.... Serious

Well Sir....if'n ya think yur luggage is safe just cause ya put a lock on it....check this out....

Putting out a Kitchen Oil Fire...Serious...

Country Safety....

Cat Safety.....


...and "Charlie the Cop" sent me this good t'know information regardin....

"Stun Gun"/Taser Safety....

Ladies - you have got to read the whole thing if you can keep the tears out of your eyes Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd Anniversary, and I was looking for a little something "extra" for my wife. I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser.

The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on the assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device, and brought it home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the thing, and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to the Wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all THAT bad, with only two triple-A batteries, right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner with my cat, Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions, and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit, I thought about zapping Gracie, (for only a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She's such a sweet cat But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top, with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms, and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three
seconds would just be wasting the batteries.

All the while, I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; (pretty cute really, and loaded with two little bitty, itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, "NO possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best. I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't POSSIBLY hurt all that bad... I decided to give myself a one-second burst, just for the heck of it.

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @!@$$!%!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over, and over, and over, and over again.

I vaguely recall waking up on my side, in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.

The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, and undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is NO SUCH THING as a "one-second burst" , when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-%#&**%#... that hurt!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up, and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. (How did they up get there???) My triceps, right thigh, and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles. I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return

The Guy From Boston--2nd Amendment Rights....



Now Sir....ya didn't really think it would ALL be serious stuff didja...??

Typical Media spin if'n they don't like somebody...

Well Sir....I was perusin a few blogs yesterday and over at Smolderin Embers, I noticed that the Chief ( I think he's a Democrat BTW) had a post up about a story from a New England Newspaper (..and CNN is also surprize)....and basically it said that Fred Thompson really doesn't want the a little research, and by going to the horses mouth itself, his campaign's what actually was said and how this reporter "spun" it...

Fred! Addresses the "fire in the belly" Question

Straight from the horse's mouth, from the campaign website.

"Every once in a while I am more thankful than ever for today’s technology which allows me to talk to you directly instead of having to go through the filter of the main stream media.

Some of them are intent on making the outcome of the campaign dependent upon their pre-conceived notions. Every once in a while their incomplete and slanted coverage makes this clear.

Today I had this story written about me regarding what I said at a Town Hall event in Burlington, Iowa by a reporter who wasn’t even at the event. Incidentally, I declined to be interviewed by this particular reporter yesterday for reasons which will soon be apparent.

In referring to me, she reported “he doesn’t like modern campaigning, isn’t interested in running for President, and will not be devastated” if he doesn’t win.

Here be the actual article.....

The following is a transcript of what I actually said in response to a question by a local Burlington resident which was the basis of the reporter’s story:

Q: My only problem with you and why I haven’t thrown all my support behind you is that I don’t know if you have the desire to be President. If I caucus for you next week, are you still going to be there two months from now?

…In the first place I got in the race about the time people normally get into it historically. The fact of the matter is that others started the process a lot earlier this time than they normally do. I think it was for some of them when they were juniors in high school.


That is a very good question, not because it’s difficult to answer, because, but I’m gonna answer it in a little different way than what you might expect.

In the first place, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I wouldn’t be doing this if i didn’t. I grew up very modest circumstances. I left government, I and my family have made sacrifices for me to be sitting here today. I haven’t had any income for a long time because I’m doing this. I figure that to be clean you’ve got to cut everything off. And I was doing speaking engagements and I had a contract to do a tv show, I had a contract with abc radio like I was talking about earlier and so forth. I guess a man would have to be a total fool to do all those things and to be leaving his family which is not a joyful thing at all if he didn’t want to do it.

But I am not consumed by personal ambition. I will not be devastated if I don’t do it. I want the people to have the best president that they can have.

When this talk first started, it didn’t originate with me. There were a lot of people around the country both directly and through polls, liked the idea of me stepping up. And of course, you always look better at a distance, I guess.

But most of those people are still there and think its a good idea. But I approached it from the standpoint of a deal. A kind of a marriage. If one side of a marriage has to be really talked into the marriage, it probably ain’t going to be a very good deal for either one of them. But if you mutually think that this is a good thing. In this case, if you think this is a good thing for the country, then you have an opportunity to do some wonderful things together.

I’m offering myself up. I’m saying that I have the background, the capability, and the concern to do this and I’m doing it for the right reasons. But I’m not particularly interested in running for president, but I think I’d make a good president.

Nowadays, the process has become much more important than it used to be.

I don’t know that they ever asked George Washington a question like this. I don’t know that they ever asked Dwight D. Eisenhower a question like this. But nowadays, it’s all about fire in the belly. I’m not sure in the world we live in today it’s a terribly good thing if a president has too much fire in the belly. I approach life differently than a lot of people. People, I guess, wonder how I’ve been as successful as I’ve been in everything I’ve done. I won two races in TN by 20 point margins, a state that Bill Clinton carried twice. I’d never run for office before. I’ve never had an acting lesson and I guess that’s obvious by people who’ve watched me. But when they made a movie about a case that I had when I took on a corrupt state administration as a lawyer and beat them before a jury. They made a movie about it and I wound up playing myself in the movie and yeah I can do that.

And when I did it, I did it. Wasn’t just a lark. Anything that’s worth doing is worth doing well. But I’ve always been a little bit more laid back than most. I like to say that I’m only consumed by very, very few things and politics is not one of them. The welfare of our country and our kids and grandkids is one of them.

If people really want in their president a super type-a personality, someone who has gotten up every morning and gone to bed every night and been thinking about for years how they could achieve the Presidency of the United States, someone who can look you straight in the eye and say they enjoy every minute of campaigning, I ain’t that guy. So I hope I’ve discussed that and hope I haven’t talked you out of anything. I honestly want - I can’t imagine a worse set of circumstances than achieving the presidency under false pretenses. I go out of my way to be myself because I don’t want anybody to think they are getting something they are not getting. I’m not consumed by this process I’m not consumed with the notion of being President. I’m simply saying I’m willing to do what’s necessary to achieve it if I’m in sync with the people and if the people want me or somebody like me. I’ll do what I’ve always done in the rest of my life and I will take it on and do a good job and you’ll have the disadvantage of having someone who probably can’t jump up and click their heels three times but will tell you the truth and you’ll know where the President stands at all times.

It is clear that there are those in the media who will exact a high price for candor and from those whom they consider to be insufficiently ambitious. But it is with increasing amazement that we see that those who are willing to slant or leave out important parts of a story to make their point.

If a candidate succumbs to this he will be reduced to nothing more than a sound bite machine.

As for me I am going to continue to say exactly what is in my heart and is on my mind and give straight and honest answers to those who ask straight and honest questions.

Incidentally, the audience in Burlington broke into applause in the middle of my answer. The reporter wouldn’t know that because she wasn’t even there."