Well Sir....back in my drinkin days, I can recall wakin up on beautiful Sunday mornins like today in some really bad places and situations...but fortunately...nuthin like these guys.....
Yupper...it's true...The girls all get prettier (and thinner) at "Closin Time"...
BTW...did Y'all hear about the blind man who went Sky-Diving....you could hear the dog scream all the way down.....
....and here be the toughest part about bein a Seeing Eye-Dog....
Thanks "Chicago Charlie".....
....and "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town also relates how there just ain't no pleasin some men....
Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will
wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes .
After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long.'
The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'
The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes.
My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said,…………………….
'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'
...and yet anuther joke frum "Charlie".....
If you ever testify in court, you might wish
you could have been as sharp as this policeman.
He was being cross-examined by a defense
attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was
trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...
Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"
A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."
Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"
A: "The officer who responded to the scene."
Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.
Q: "Do you trust your fellow officers?"
A: "Yes, sir. With my life."
Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you
change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"
A: "Yes sir, we do!"
Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"
A: "Yes sir, I do."
Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"
A: "Yes sir."
Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"
A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and
a prompt recess was called. The officer on the
stand has been nominated for this year's
"Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.
Q: Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?
A: It's for Dickheads.