Rough Mornin's.....

Well Sir....back in my drinkin days, I can recall wakin up on beautiful Sunday mornins like today in some really bad places and situations...but fortunately...nuthin like these guys.....



Yupper...it's true...The girls all get prettier (and thinner) at "Closin Time"...





HAT-TIP: Patrick....
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BTW...did Y'all hear about the blind man who went Sky-Diving....you could hear the dog scream all the way down.....

....and here be the toughest part about bein a Seeing Eye-Dog....



Thanks "Chicago Charlie".....
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....and "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town also relates how there just ain't no pleasin some men....

Subject: Ahhh...Marriage!

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all three will
wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes .

After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long.'

The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in the office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a raincoat.
When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'

The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes.

My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said,…………………….


'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'
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...and yet anuther joke frum "Charlie".....



If you ever testify in court, you might wish

you could have been as sharp as this policeman.

He was being cross-examined by a defense

attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was

trying to undermine the policeman's credibility...


Q: "Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?"

A: "No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away."


Q: "Officer -- who provided this description?"

A: "The officer who responded to the scene."


Q: "A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.

Q: "Do you trust your fellow officers?"

A: "Yes, sir. With my life."


Q: "With your life? Let me ask you this then, officer. Do you have a room where you
change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?"

A: "Yes sir, we do!"


Q: "And do you have a locker in the room?"

A: "Yes sir, I do."


Q: "And do you have a lock on your locker?"

A: "Yes sir."


Q: "Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?"

A: "You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room."


The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and

a prompt recess was called. The officer on the

stand has been nominated for this year's

"Best Comeback" line -- and we think he'll win.
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Q: Did you hear that Viagra now comes in a nasal spray?

A: It's for Dickheads.


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Memories.... Both fond & sorrowful....

Ya know...it's funny how the mind works. It's a well known fact that both odors and music are very strong memory stimulants, and sometimes that works in reverse. Since the death of my life long best friend, Bob, I've had the opportunity to review and look back upon specific times in our lives together.

Yesterday, while recalling a place where Bob and I used to hang out, both before and after our Navy days, certain songs began flooding my mind, songs that would almost always be playin on the Juke-Box as we were havin a beer or two, playin pool, or practicin "stress release" by kickin the crap outta some assholes that dearly deserved it. There wasn't anything particularly special about our hang-out, "Borio's Restaurant" on Oneida Lake. In those days, it was just a small neighborhood bar/restaurant that catered to locals, fishermen and folks out cruisin around the lake during a hot Summer day or evening....

So...please indulge Cookie as he uses his blog for therapeutic purposes fer awhile...

Here's some of the songs that came floodin back.....so if'n ya like Ray Charles...yur gonna love this post...












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"Freedom Never Cries..." some political rantin...and, "The Chief's" sex prank....

My Marine Corps League Commandant, Loren Davies, sent this to me yesterday....and I thought I would share it with Y'all....get some tissues out...


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Obama...with all your inexperience...at least learn from History....

Kennedy Talked, Khrushchev Triumphed

From the New York Times op-ed:

Senator Obama defended his position by again enlisting Kennedy’s legacy: “If George Bush and John McCain have a problem with direct diplomacy led by the president of the United States, then they can explain why they have a problem with John F. Kennedy, because that’s what he did with Khrushchev.”

But Kennedy’s one presidential meeting with Nikita Khrushchev, the Soviet premier, suggests that there are legitimate reasons to fear negotiating with one’s adversaries. Although Kennedy was keenly aware of some of the risks of such meetings — his Harvard thesis was titled “Appeasement at Munich” — he embarked on a summit meeting with Khrushchev in Vienna in June 1961, a move that would be recorded as one of the more self-destructive American actions of the cold war, and one that contributed to the most dangerous crisis of the nuclear age.

Senior American statesmen like George Kennan advised Kennedy not to rush into a high-level meeting, arguing that Khrushchev had engaged in anti-American propaganda and that the issues at hand could as well be addressed by lower-level diplomats. Kennedy’s own secretary of state, Dean Rusk, had argued much the same in a Foreign Affairs article the previous year: “Is it wise to gamble so heavily? Are not these two men who should be kept apart until others have found a sure meeting ground of accommodation between them?”

But Kennedy went ahead, and for two days he was pummeled by the Soviet leader. Despite his eloquence, Kennedy was no match as a sparring partner, and offered only token resistance as Khrushchev lectured him on the hypocrisy of American foreign policy, cautioned America against supporting “old, moribund, reactionary regimes” and asserted that the United States, which had valiantly risen against the British, now stood “against other peoples following its suit.” Khrushchev used the opportunity of a face-to-face meeting to warn Kennedy that his country could not be intimidated and that it was “very unwise” for the United States to surround the Soviet Union with military bases.

Nikita punk’d him:

Kennedy’s aides convinced the press at the time that behind closed doors the president was performing well, but American diplomats in attendance, including the ambassador to the Soviet Union, later said they were shocked that Kennedy had taken so much abuse. Paul Nitze, the assistant secretary of defense, said the meeting was “just a disaster.” Khrushchev’s aide, after the first day, said the American president seemed “very inexperienced, even immature.” Khrushchev agreed, noting that the youthful Kennedy was “too intelligent and too weak.” The Soviet leader left Vienna elated — and with a very low opinion of the leader of the free world.

Kennedy’s assessment of his own performance was no less severe. Only a few minutes after parting with Khrushchev, Kennedy, a World War II veteran, told James Reston of The New York Times that the summit meeting had been the “roughest thing in my life.” Kennedy went on: “He just beat the hell out of me. I’ve got a terrible problem if he thinks I’m inexperienced and have no guts. Until we remove those ideas we won’t get anywhere with him.”

A little more than two months later, Khrushchev gave the go-ahead to begin erecting what would become the Berlin Wall. Kennedy had resigned himself to it, telling his aides in private that “a wall is a hell of a lot better than a war.” The following spring, Khrushchev made plans to “throw a hedgehog at Uncle Sam’s pants”: nuclear missiles in Cuba. And while there were many factors that led to the missile crisis, it is no exaggeration to say that the impression Khrushchev formed at Vienna — of Kennedy as ineffective — was among them.

If Barack Obama wants to follow in Kennedy’s footsteps, he should heed the lesson that Kennedy learned in his first year in office: sometimes there is good reason to fear to negotiate.
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...and, fer all you Obama supporters out there...here's a little something y'all can wear before (and after) the Election....


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Just imagine if we all did this!

http://www.intellectualconservative.com/2008/05/15/striking-changes-in-arizona-as-illegal-immigrants-flee-the-state/
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Marcus Luttrell conducts cultural awareness training.

I don't think it would surprise anyone that Marcus was not going to sit
idly by while some punk badmouths Texas, and he didn't.

Marcus Luttrell conducts cultural awareness training

http://www.blackfive.net/main/2008/05/marcus-luttrell.html

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Gotta give a big ol Cookshack HAT-TIP to Susan Gertson frum the great State of Texas fer sendin alot of this along to us....

...and yes...even "The Chief", that old, ugly assed Marine deserves some thanks...and here be what he likes to do just to bust folks balls and have some fun with em......


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Friday PotPourri......

A real dedicated boxing fan...."Left jab...OK...left jab again, now a right cross...thats it..ya got em on the ropes..."


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....and "Charlie the Cop", sends us this amassed wisdom.....

ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE

Please Read all the way to the bottom:

If you will take the time to read these, I promise
you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The
subjects covered affect us all on a daily basis:

They're written by Andy Rooney , a man who has the gift
of saying so much with so few words.

I've learned ... That the best classroom in the world
is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned ... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned ... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

I've learned ... That having a child fall asleep in
your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the
world.

I've learned ... That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned ... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned ... That I can always pray for someone
when I don't have the strength to help him in some
other way.

I've learned ... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned ... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned ... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned ... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned ... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned ... That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned ... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned ... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned ... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned ... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned ... That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned ... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned ... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned ... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned ….. That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned ... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned ... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned ... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

I've learned ... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned ... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned ... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned ... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned ... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

To all of you ... Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.

It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if it means sending it back to the person who sent it to you. If it comes back to you, then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP WEEK TO YOU!!!!!! YOU ARE MY FRIENDS AND I AM HONORED! Now send this to every friend you have!! And to your family. This was sent to me by a friend.
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OK mates...got a lot to do today, so it's obviously a short post....

Y'all take care and have a GREAT Day......
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I think there be a great reason here to post-pone the Weddin plans...

Well Sir....Susan Gertson from Texas sent me this first video and I'm sure y'all will find it as funny as I did...


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...and thanks fer this one also Susan.....

Shipwrecked

A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton . That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get 'those feelings' again.. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't made love for months. Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

He said, 'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'

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I've posted this one before...but since it makes so much sense, and is TRUE, I'm goin t'post it again.....

The following is the 2007 winning entry from an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term.

This year's term was Political Correctness.

The winner wrote:

'Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.'
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...and the good "Chief" sends us this one.....

When my wife got home from work last night, she demanded that I take her out to some place "expensive"...




So, I took her to a gas station!!!!

Yupper...always knew that the Chief had a lot of "Class".....
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Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs

The seven dwarfs always left to go work in the mine early each morning.
As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores.

As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunch and carry it to the mine.

One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunch, she saw that there had been a terrible cave-in.
Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived.

'Hello!...Hello!' she shouted. 'Can anyone hear me? Hello!'

For a long while, there was no answer.
Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, 'Hello! Is anyone down there?'

Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing . . ..

'Vote for Barack Obama! - Vote for Barack Obama!'


Snow White fell to her knees, crossed herself and prayed,


'Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive...


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...and the "Chief" informed me as to just why he doesn't shop at Wal-Mart's anymore....


New Features in Wal-Mart

The new Super Wal-Mart has an automatic water mist-spray to
keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of
distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you go to the bread case, it smells like grandma's fresh
baked bread.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
enjoy the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle
and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs
frying.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.
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Be gone fer one more day....

I'll be gone for at least one more day to attend my friends Memorial Service and be with his family.....

Thanks fer bein patient with the Cookie....
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The Memorial Day "Watchfire"....

Well Sir....This years annual "Watchfire" at the New York State Fair-Grounds in Syracuse, NY had a fantastic turnout of between 12 and 15,000 patriotic Americans in attendance. Mostly comprised of Vet's, their family, friends and onlookers, it has truly become an event that many people look forward to every year as a respectful, solemn and symbolic way to celebrate Memorial Day.

"Watchfire's" were used by ancient Roman soldiers so that warriors could find their way home at night following a battle. The practice was also widespread during the American Civil War, but today, they are mostly symbolic...a way to light the way home for those souls lost in battle.

If you are a person who would like to start an annual Watchfire in your area, contact one of your local Veterans groups and see what y'all can get going. I promise you, it will become a large event filled with much camaraderie. Our Watchfire began about 10 years ago with only a few hundred folks, mostly Vietnam Vets and their families, but has now grown enormously.

I'm also going to dedicate this post to another true American hero for us to remember on this day, Clint Gertson. Clint gave his life for freedom, both for Iraqi's and this great country of ours while serving in Iraq. I didn't personally know Clint, but from what I've learned about him from his parents, Susan and Gayle Gertson, I wish I had.....



Clint Gertson.... Thank You for your ultimate sacriface mate.....



I saw this over at "The Chief's", and is my way "sometimes", I just had to borrow it....
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...and, an Encore..."The Battle Hymn of the Republic"....

http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Battle%20Hymn/index.htm

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Remember...and be very grateful.... It's what this weekend is all about.....

Well Sir....while sorta reminiscin in my reverie regarding my recently departed best friend (previous post), a thought came to me about a song, that to my recollection, the last time I had heard sung was in early High School. I immediately checked YouTube, but the only two versions I could find was one, by Barara Streisand, whom I wouldn't sully my blog-site or insult y'all with, and this version, by Dean Martin and Phil Sivers.

This song was first written shortly after WWI, and was eventually published in 1922. It was written by a soldier who had lost his best buddy in battle. Although the Dean Martin/Phil Silvers version is comical, I wasn't going to use it at first, but then I got to thinkin, this is exactly the kind of clownin around and comedy routines that myself and "Snogs" used to do all the time, and, since I've devoted most of the posts on this blog to comedy...here t'is...

" My Buddy".....


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...and...I just cain't let t'day go by without gettin in my weekly shot at The Marine Corps.....

Associated Press
1 March 2008

United States Navy Pilot Saves Life of Marine Corps Pilot in Horse-Back Riding Mishap

Pensacola, FL. A U.S. Marine Corps pilot temporarily assigned to the Naval Air Training Command narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience. After mounting his horse unassisted, the horse immediately began moving. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the pilot, Lt. "Cos" Cosgrove, began to slip sideways from the saddle.

Although attempting to grab for the horse's mane Cosgrove could not get a firm grip. He then threw his arms around the horse's neck but continued to slide down the side of the horse. The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his grip, the Lieutenant attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. His foot, however, became entangled in the stirrup, leaving him at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground.

Moments away from unconsciousness, and probable death, to his great fortune a U.S. Navy pilot, shopping at Wal-Mart, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse!


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...and this is one of the best renditions of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" I believe I've ever heard.....

http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Battle%20Hymn/index.htm
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A Big THANKS to all who contributed to this here post, Susan Gertson, Clint Griffin, "The Chief"


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