Saturday, November 17, 2007

Gourmet Style Braised Turnips....Delicious..

Well Sir....with the Holidays just around the corner...the Cookie man is gonna share an old recipe' with y'all that I only make twice a Thanksgiving and Christmas. ...

Now Sir...if'n yur anything like me, ya don't really care all that much fer Turnips of any kind, but my life loves em...and do least when they're preparred like this I do....

...and whats even more surprising is that my kids and grandkids love it as well....


2 lbs of cut frozen or fresh Turnips, cut into 1/2 inch cubes

1/4 lb of sliced bacon, diced

1/2 to 3/4 cup of minced onions

2 Tablespoons unsalted Butter

1/2 cup of Chicken Stock

3/4 tsp of Sugar

3/4 tsp Kosher Salt

2 Tablespoons of minced Parsley

Lemon Juice

Salt & Pepper to taste

In a large saucepan of boiling, salted water, "Blanch" the Turnips for 1 minute or so. Drain the Turnips in a colander and then refresh under running COLD water. Pat dry.

In a large skillet, saute' the 1/4 lb if diced bacon over moderately high heat, until crisp. Transfer with slotted spoon to a paper towel, saving the bacon drippings in the skillet.

Add the 1/2 cup of minced onion and the 2 Tablespoons of butter to the bacon drippings and saute' the onions till soft.

Add the cut Turnips, Chicken stock, sugar and 3/4 tsp of salt, toss. Braise it covered over moderate low heat for 15 to 20 minutes, or until Turnips are tender.

Cook the mixture uncovered until all the liquid evaporates. Add the bacon, 2 Tablespoons of minced Parsley, a squirt or two of lemon juice, and salt and pepper to your taste...

Serve in a heated dish if possible...Serves about 8.


...and Susan G sent along some really simple and amazing Home Remedies....thanks Missy Susan...


1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. lol

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.



...and a little Jackie Mason with yur day....

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Speakin of bein in real deep shit (previous post) ......

As most of ya already know, I'm an old Bubblehead (Submariner), and I posted this here post bout a year or so ago and received 33 comments regarding this completely true story...and alot a folks got a real good laugh outta those of you who are new readers or mighta missed it ( like Subvet, his "War Department and Sonarman) t'is agin...Enjoy!

Ohhh Man...I'm in reeeal deep shit this time....

Well of late...several of my close feller bloggers have been humorously nostalgisizin bout funny past experiences in their here's a true account of something I did while stationed about the submarine the USS Piper SS409.....most of you old bubbleheads will probably enjoy this story....and hopefully ....ya won't be able to relate to it frum experience.....

Now...fer you folks that aren't in the know... at first this story might get a little boring and technical...but it's necessary for me to explain some things to y'all so's ya will understand just what was happenin....bear with me please, it'll be well worth it. On the old fleet boats (WWII Submarines)..all the various water and sewage piping drained into the Sanitary Tanks...things like the sinks, showers, coffee urn, heads (toilets), urinals, skuttlebutts (drinking fountains) and few other extraneous systems having to do with water/sewage.

Now Sir...this tank had to be emptied (blown) overboard just about everyday during a certain duty watch...and there was a very explicit way to do this that entailed closing every valve..frum every line and every pipe that ran into the Sanitary tanks throughout the entire Boat....and there was a check-list that y'all had to use to make sure you had in fact closed every single drain valve in the boat.

Once all the drain valves goin to the Sanitary Tanks were closed...the sailor would then proceed to a pressurization station in the After Battery compartment...and open several other of them being the "Outer" Sanitary Tank valve...this being the underwater valve that was outside the boat. Once completed...he would then pressurize the Sanitary tank by putting about 20 lbs of compressed air pressure into it.... thus flushing all sewage out of the tank and overboard into the ocean. Now y'all can see why all the other valves had t'be shut's nuthin could blow back up the lines. I know this has been kinda boring to y'all....but stay with me.......

Now Sir...I had done this procedure many ....many times...and had never had a problem...but on this particular evening...sumthin went wrong. One could tell when the Sanitary Tank was emptying out by watchin a "Yarway" guage on the bulkhead (wall)...and when the tank was would secure the blow by turning off the air pressure....close a couple a valves at this station...and Re-open all the drain valves throughout the boat.

Well Sir, on this one disasterous and infamous evenin...I put 20 pounds a pressure in there as yur supposed to...and nuthin happened! The guage didn't budge. Tapped the guage...nuthin. Re-adjusted all the valves at that station...nuthin. what? Well...what the hell...let me give it 25 pounds of pressure....still nuthin. Godamnit...what the f*#k is goin on here? Checked all the immediate valves to make sure that they were in the correct positions....gave the system another 25 pound shot....nuthin. OK you's 30 pounds a pressure......take that.....nuthin. The guage wasn't droppin one iota......

Totally flummoxed....I re-re-checked evrythin agin...gave it pressure....still nuthin. OK...damn you...y'all wanna play's 40 f*#kin pounds a pressure (twice the amount yur sposed t'use). Ah Ha...the guage jumped and then started goin down...the tank was finally emptying. At about that same moment in time...a crewmember nicknamed "Wingnut" cause a his big ears...came running through the After Battery yelling "SECURE THE BLOW....SECURE THE BLOW"!

I immediately shut the pressure valve off, looked at "Wingnut"....and asked.."what's wrong?" He looked at me...and with a broad-ass grin goin frum one a his huge ears to the other said... "Man...I'm real glad I ain't you". What are y'all talkin bout I asked agin. Now.....laughin uncontrolably and holdin his sides....Wingnut barely got it out that I needed get into the Crew's Mess right away..."the COB wants to see you"......

Now fer those a you unfamiliar...the COB is the "Chief of the Boat"...the most senior and experienced enlisted man on a submarine...he's next to God...his power is legendary....even the Captain listens to him when he speaks. Now...the COB on our boat was a grizzly old character named Joe Negri...and it was said that he'd been in the Navy so long that he had been First Mate on Noah's Ark... and he ate torpedo explosives fer breakfast and washed it all down with diesel oil....this guy was in the Navy when the ships were made of wood...and the men were made of steel...y'all gettin a mental picture yet....?

Now Sir....when I entered the Crew's Mess....I was greeted with a scene very reminiscent of....

...the only difference was that the bear...otherwise known as the COB....Joe Negri...the most Senior Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy....was standin there with a coffee cup danglin from his hand and he was completely covered in SHIT!...frum his head to his toes...shit was drippin of his weathered old chief's hat, his nose, his chin, his ears, his eyebrows, his belt buckle..everywhere. The crews mess and galley was covered in shit...the deck was covered in shit....and when I seen what I had done....and the look on the COB's face....I almost added somemore shit to the scene myself via the back a my pants.

Well Sir...once old Joe got done tearin this here bubblehead a brand new asshole and callin me names I ain't never heard of before...or since...he stormed outta the Mess Hall bellowin t'me over his shoulder that he damned sure wasn't through with me yet....

There was dead silence fer a few seconds after he stormed through the hatch inta the Control Room...except for some expletive statements like "What the F*#K smells?" coming from Officers in the Control Room, then...all the crew members who had been in the Mess Hall when the proverbial shit hit the fan...or rather the COB...broke into hysterical laughter.

Some crew members told me that the scene of the shit explosion occurred somthin like this....

Several guys were sitting in the galley quietly havin a cup a coffee or playin Cribbage when they heard a very loud noise that sounded like "Sproing!" (that was the sound of the drain line valve from the coffee urn to the Sanitary Tank breaking under double it's intended pressure). At about the same time...the COB happened to come around the corner to get a cup of coffee...he put his coffee cup under the serving spicket on the urn and pulled it....KABLOOM....shit that was bein pushed by 40 pounds of pressure...hit the bottom of his coffee cup and exploded up and out like Mt. Vesuvius and instantly covered him from head to toe....then shit continued to blast into the galley through the still open spicket and the broken glass tubes on the front of the urn. They said that the COB had the most horrified, puzzled, surprised, disgusting, confused and angry expression on his face...all at the same time...that they couldn't even mimic what his face looked like. The rest is history....... don't take genius to figure out just who had to clean up all the shit. The coffee urn...a total loss...oh it was fixed and cleaned...but ain't nobody would ever drink outta it after that...includin me....the boat had t'get a new one.

Now Sir....I originally stuck t'my story that I had only used the required 20 pounds a pressure...nuthin more. Musta been a faulty valve said I. This always left a doubt in some minds as to just how much I was to blame fer the whole thing....

Well the first time in 42 years...I'm finally fessin up. Joe...if'n yur out there somewhere readin this....I apologise to y'all fer all the shit I gave ya (sorry...couldn't resist).....and I deserved every "shit" detail and wurk assignment y'all gave me fer the next three well as how ya restricted me to the boat with no leave or well as all the chippin & paintin assignments ya gave well as all the extra watches I had to stand....and the extra "Mess Cookin"(KP) duties....and the "bilge watches"...and all the ass chewin's that sir...I deserved it all Joe...and may God Bless ya where-ever you may were a man's man.


My good buddy Sig over at Signal94 has quite an imagination...and after he read my account of this comedic episode in my life...he wrote these lyrics some months back when the above was just's done to the Theme from the Beverly Hillbillies....

Cookie's Big Adventure

Come and listen to m’ story ‘bout a man named Gene
Cruising under water in a fleet submarine.
Then one day he’s trying to blow a little air
Into a high pressure steel derrière.
A sanitary tank that is…
Fulla beans...Submarine ass beans I reckon…

Now it won’t flush and Gene’s pumpin’ harder
Sending lotsa pressure into the Piper’s poopy larder.
Building up a force that is close enough to earn
A blown safety valve inside the galley’s urn.
Sit yerself down sailor...Pour a cuppa joe
It’ll be yer last…

So the next thing ya know all hell's a breaking loose
With butt torpedoes from every man’s caboose.
With all that pressure every turd is liquefied
“The COB wants ta see ya!” and Cookie nearly died.
Scared he was... Dunno what's happenin ..’What's that funky smell …

Well the COB’s like a maniac, he’s in an awful snit.
Screamin’ and yellin’ while he’s covered in sub shit.
But Cookie cleaned the mess he made and finally settled down;
And now he’s a blogger of no little renown.
Thanks for stoppin’ by now.
Ya’ll come back now, Ya hear?

I'm in the shits real good this time....

Well good buddy "Charlie The Cop" frum out Chicago way sent me this here video that he states is proof positive that the Irish originally came frum Africa. When me good Irish wife came inta the Den to investigate why I was laughin so can figure out the rest. BTW...Charlie's also in the shits with his wife, AND mine as well....

View this on LiveDigital
_________________________________ that I got yur be a recipe that Sue Gertson from Eagle Lake, Texas passed along to me for Pumpkin Bread AND Butter ...just in time fer the Thanksgiving Holiday.....Thanks agin Missy Sue....

Pumpkin Bread

This recipe will yield TWO LOAVES:

3 cups of mashed, cooked pumpkin
1 cup canola oil
1 cup honey
1 cup yogurt (plain)
2 eggs
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp ground cloves
4 tsps baking soda
4 cups flour

Preheat oven to 325F
Mix all the ingredients except for the flour, mix well; then add the flour a little bit at a time till well mixed ( if batter is too bland add more honey to taste). Pour into greased 9 X 5 loaf pan. Bake for one hour or until wire tester or toothpick comes out clean.

Pumpkin Butter

1 cup of mashed cooked pumpkin
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup molasses
1 tbs lemon juice
3/4 tsp of ground cinnamon

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan. Cook over med/high heat and bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Turn heat to low and simmer until mixture is thick (15 mins). Stir often as it can burn easily. Cool- then chill for at least one hour before using.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Please say a prayer with me...

Well Sir....some of my regular readers will remember that in the middle of last September, I requested that those who are of a mind to, please pray for my life long best friend, Bob Snogles, who was hospitalized and very ill....

...and many of you fine folks responded positively and immediately, and said prayers. You have my eternal gratitude for your efforts....

To bring you up to date, Bob has basically been in the hospital since his initial entry last September, with brief periods of one or two days back home, and then returned to the Intensive Care or Cardiac Care units for weeks more....

He is, as I type this, very ill and his kidneys have shut down, not good at all since he has already had a kidney transplant about 30 years ago....and is now back on kidney Dialysis...

I spoke to him on the phone not ten minutes ago and he sounded very exhausted, defeated and did not sound well at all.....

I must impose on all of you wonderfull people once again and ask for your intercessory prayers for this fine man who has given so much to his country and his community.....

Well good amiga Missy Buster frum out Kansas way sent me this not only describes me to a tee, but it kinda applies to what's going on with the Cookie man today...

Thanks to all of you for your prayers and support....Cookie