Wednesday, June 04, 2008

OK...time fer some humor....

As was obvious to all who read this blog regularly, I left the last post up much longer than I would have done with any other post. The reason is also obvious. To myself and my partners who trying to bring this project to fruition on or about the 3rd of July, we have a lot of work still ahead of us...BUT...thanks to all you wonderful folks out there who responded so efficiantly and promptly and who either linked, or "tracked-back" to my post, as well as donate some of your hard earned cash....I say:

THANK YOU MATES...from the bottom of my heart...

Semper Fi....
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Well Sir...Patrick sends us this expos'e of "Men In Training"....









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Yupper...this sounds bout right. What about y'all...where d'ya qualify?






What Kind of a Western Bad-Ass are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as John Wayne

You a classic all American cowboy who does the right thing. When you're sober. Which means occasionally. You like horses, the outdoors, whiskey, hot tempered women, whiskey, and bourbon.



Clint Eastwood


100%

John Wayne


100%

Lee Van Cleef


100%

Charles Bronson


88%

Lee Marvin


75%




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Just thought y'all outta know this......

“I will stand with the Muslims should the political winds shift in an ugly direction.”
~ Barack Hussein Obama - The Audacity of Hope
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PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!

Near Fatal Crash (graphic)

This crash could have been fatal!

Thank goodness the airbags deployed!



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I'm so glad YouTube is around today. As a cop fer over 20 years, there were many stories about completely stupid, ignorant and dumb criminals that, when I would share with folks, they either wouldn't believe what I had told them, or met my tale(s) with heavy scepticism..... but here's some video proof about a couple of bumblin burglars....



Thank Ya Missy Susan from Eagle Lake, Texas....
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**Sigh**...Busted again....

The Chief just has t'keep bringin up my past. This is an artists rendering of what happened at the Line-Up last week....


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Monday, June 02, 2008

What the USO WON'T do, the Marines, Seabee's and Army "Can Do"...A Hospitality Room.

UPDATE: As y'all can see from the below comment section, many fine bloggers from all across our great country have rolled up their literary sleeves and posted/linked to this article, including (Thanks to YankeeMom), the US Army's "Stand To" blogsite ( http://www4.army.mil/news/standto.html ), under "whats being said on the blogs."

The word is starting to really get out about this project and there is still plenty of room for more bloggers who might want to join the fun. I (we) can't thank you all enough. I'm certain that all the fine Military folks who will benefit from this project will be extremely grateful as well....Cookie

Please read entirely and "Link" or "Trackback" to.....

Well Sir...a few years ago, Cookie initially worked with a private security firm, and later with the TSA (Transportation Security Agency) at the Syracuse, Hancock International Airport in Syracuse, NY.

While working at the Airport, there were many occasions when myself and other TSA folks would have to process large numbers of fine Military women and men who were shipping out to either Iraq or Afghanistan, or some other duty stations around the world. It should be noted that Fort Drum, home of the U.S. Army's 10th Mountain Division is only about 70 miles up the road a piece. Also located very nearby is a United States Marine Corps Reserve Detachment, a Naval Reserve Training Center, a Navy Seabee detachment and (at the airbase itself), the New York Air National Guards 174th Fighter Wing, whose F-16 Fighters and crews have served in both the Afghanistan and Iraq Wars. From the above listings you can easily see that there is a heavy Military presence in our area.

On many occasions, myself and my Marine Corps League's Commandant, Loren Davies (who was a manager with the TSA), as well as an Iraq war vet named Leroy Bowen( US Army Reserve Retired, SFC), would observe many active Military personnel who had been dropped off at the Airport to catch their flights to whatever duty station they were bound for, sitting in the terminal for many long hours, sometimes overnight.

Although there are 3 small restaurants at the airport, they close up shop at about 8 or 9:00 PM, and do not re-open until 7:00 AM the next morning. It was during these long waits or delays, sometimes 14 hours or overnight, that it was glaringly obvious that, for these fine patriotic young men and women, there was no way for them to get a bottle of water, soda, or even a hot cup of "joe". There is also NO entertainment such as TV's to watch and occupy their time.

It should be noted that for these past several years (since Afghanistan), many good folks from the TSA, would have someone make a "coffee and donut run" to a Dunkin Donuts a couple of miles or so from the airport and at least bring back something for the troops. The Syracuse Police Department (my old Alma-mater) also has a large precinct office at the airport, and they would do their best to invite the Soldiers, Sailors and Marines into the precinct and share their coffee and donuts (you know cops and donuts) with these folks, often sending a man on a detail to get some hot sandwiches and coffee for them as well.

Watching these good folks sitting there all night, or long hours with nothing to eat, drink, or entertain them, Loren, Leroy kinda took a personal vow to get the USO into the airport to service these great folks. However, when we contacted the USO about getting a " Military Hospitality Center/Lounge" for these patriotic and dedicated Military personnel into the airport, for whatever reason, the USO refused and wouldn't address the problem at the Syracuse, Hancock International Airport. Most disappointing for us.

Just to be clear, The USO is a very fine organization and has helped many a lonely Sailor, Soldier or Marine over these many years, like myself back in the 60's, and they must have a good reason, probably financial, for their lack of participation in this project.

With the Seabee motto, "Can Do" in mind, Loren (Commandant Marine Corps League, Emerald City Detachment), Leroy (US Army Retired) and myself (Navy Seabee Veterans of America, Island X-19) set out to make this happen without the USO, and thus far, wonderful things have begun to happen thanks to material donations and assistance rendered from our respective organizations. A local VFW post has also expressed some strong interest in becoming involved with the project, and many, MANY, TSA personnel have selflessly offered to volunteer to man the Hospitality Room in their "off-duty" time. With the intercession and assistance of the Commissioner of Aviation, Anthony Mancuso, and the Honorable Mayor of Syracuse, NY, Matt Driscoll have very graciously given us a room (a $1.00 a year Lease), and a few parking spots for our volunteers at the airport terminal where we could begin to set up shop. Commissioner Mancuso has also had this room repainted and the carpet cleaned for us. It's a small room, but adequate for setting up a serving counter, refrigerator, coffee urn and microwave (all donated to us), and for storing whatever drinks and food stuffs such as water, soda, coffee, donuts and sandwiches that we can purchase or have donated.

Below is a picture of Commandant Loren Davies (on the left) with the President Jim English of the Lions Club of Chittenango, NY. BTW...for your own edification, Chittenango, NY is the birthplace of L.Frank Baum, the man who wrote "The Wizard of Oz".



Now Sir....over the past several days, Loren and myself have contacted many large local business, other Vets organizations/councils and The Oneida Indian Nation Casino, just to name few, for ANY assistance whatsoever that they might be willing to render, but have heard nothing as yet.

Now Amigo's and Amiga's, here is where I must make a request of yourselves. At present, to begin stocking up on our food and drink inventory, we desperately need monetary donations as soon as possible so that we may meet our projected Grand Opening date of July 3rd, which will probably be attended by the Mayor and Commissioner, as well as representatives of many Vet's organizations..

If any of y'all could find it possible to give us a donation, any donation at all...it would be greatly appreciated by Loren, Leroy and myself, as well as the fine, Active Duty/Reserve Military men and women who would benefit from this Military Hospitality Room.

If you have a blog, and cannot afford to make a donation at this time, an article on your blog-post, coupled with a link or "track-back" to this post would also be greatly appreciated so that we may get the word out to even more good patriotic folks who would want to show their support for Military folks that may be heading into "Harms Way", OR...if'n yur feelin especially magnanimous...Do Both!

To make your tax deductible donation by check, please make your check out to "The Marine Corps League", and please make an entry into the "memo" line in the lower left of your check, "Airport Project"....

and send your check to:

Loren Davies
Commandant
Emerald City Detachment #877
Marine Corps League
P.O. Box 393
Chittenango, New York 13037


If you have any questions at all, you may contact Loren Davies directly at either his personal phone at (315) 359-6149

OR

at his E-mail address usmc1970367@hotmail.com

My friends...thank you so very much for having taken the time to have read this lengthy post, and thanks for all you have done in the past for our nations Vets and Active Duty Military folks....

Cookie....

Tuesday Tidbits.....

In the "A photygraff is worth a Thousand Wurds" department, and also....in the "sometimes, the names of products from other nations means something completely differant than what we might think here in the good old US of A department".....We have....






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Ed Zachary Disease

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist.

Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.



So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said 'OK take off all your crose.'

The woman did as she was told.

'Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odderside of room.'

Again the woman did as she was instructed.

Dr. Chang then said 'OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.'

So she did.

Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said, 'Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.'

Worried the woman asked anxiously, 'Oh my God Dr.Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?'

Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, 'Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.'

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HAT-TIP: "Charlie the Cop"
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...and fer that old Jarhead, "The Chief", who really enjoys just about anything that has to do with trains, and who recently bested me in a comment, ball-busting and pissing contest over at his place, I offer these two great shots of the Santa Fe Steam Locomotive that were taken by my good buddy Clint Griffin of San Diego(also an old Jarhead).....



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Well Sir...fer all you feller fishermen out there, "Chicago Charlie" sent these photygraffs that will simply blow yur mind as it did mine. Wait till y'all see the size of the Great Northern Pike this lucky angler caught up in Canada...and NO...it's NOT a Musky (ya can tell by the markings)...It's a Great Northern....

WOW!!

This bad boy was caught on Rainy lake!!
This is the new record in Canada.

The last picture is unbelievable!

This guy (in the photos below), was fishing and caught a 36"
Pike - as he was reeling it in, a 56" Pike @ 55 lbs tried to eat it!!!!!

He brought them both in on the same net





BTW...fer "Buster" frum Chanute KS., if'n yur out there readin this, we obviously don't have sharks in Oneida Lake...but we do have these beauties...and they bite (real nasty teeth). So...when y'all come frum Kansas and visit my better half and myself, feel free t'go swimmin in the lake....

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Sunday, June 01, 2008

Monday mania.....and some "Technicolor Genitalia...." Don't worry...it's PG rated.

Well Sir...we'll start out with a little beauty from Susan down in Texas.....

Underwear dust...

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife' Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Heck is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.

'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied ...'It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'

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NOW...Susan's joke triggered a memory of a true story bout sumthin Cookie did to a friend a few years back.

Working as the Assistant Director to the Crime Lab at our local PD, I had access to certain harmless powdered chemicals, that when they come in contact with skin oils and moisture, they would turn different colors that were almost impossible to wash off the skin. One chemical turned bright red, and the other bright green. These powders are very fine and difficult to see, especially if yur not lookin fer em.

While on a fishing trip to Rockport, Mass., with several other cops, I managed to gain access to one of the guys suitcases (Brad) and sprinkled BOTH powders into one of his sets of skivvies (underwear).

After a long hot day of fishing for Cod, and upon returning to the Oceanside home we had rented, "Brad" went upstairs to take a shower. As the rest of us sat quietly outside in the July sunshine drinking a beer or two, there came this very loud and confused..."WHAT THE F*#K!!" from the upstairs bathroom. Needless to say, Brad had discovered his technicolor genitalia upon removing his underwear.

The laughter didn't stop for hours, especially after he realized the prank that had been pulled on him, and later, after several real stiff drinks, showed us his multicolored manhood that had bright Red and Green areas, interspersed with large sections of Orange. BTW...his "boys" got the worst of it, and I sometimes think that on that fateful day, Brad set the standard for the original "punk" hairdo. Someone even took a color photo of it and later posted it on the bulletin board in the Men's Locker room at the PD (I know NOTHING!).

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Not to be outdone, Brad requested some powders from Cookie and upon returning to his home several days later, placed one of each powder into each cup of one of his wife's bra's (She was VERY well endowed....a 38 D).

He later stated that she looked like either a flashing "Rail-Road Crossing" Light, or a "sideways traffic light" for a few days until the colors finally wore off..."from her right to left...one Red, some amber skin color in the middle, and the left one Green." Sadly...Brad wouldn't supply us with any photygraffic "evidence" fer the Locker Room....
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WHOA! Check Please......



Just anuther good example of "Actions speak louder than words".

Gotta give a REAL BIG THANKS to Patrick fer that one....
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A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband.

The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying over here and you're putting?"

"Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you."

"Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly.

"No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."
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As I get older, my damn eye sight is not all that good anymore.

Can you please help me with this? Is that, or is that not, a graphite shaft?



....and we gotta thank "Chicago Charlie" for both the above Golf jokes.....
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...and yet anuther one t'thank "Charlie the Cop" for.....

The New 2008 Tax Code


The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis.

This is due to the fact that 69% of the time it is hanging around

unemployed, 10% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is

pissed off and 1% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has

two dependents and they are both nuts!


HOWEVER, effective January 1st, 2008, the penis will now be taxed according to size:


The brackets are as follows:

10 - 12' Luxury Tax $300.00

8 - 10' Pole Tax $250.00

5 - 8' Privilege Tax $150.00

3 - 5' Nuisance Tax $30.00


Males exceeding 12' must file capital gains.

Anyone under 4' is eligible for a tax refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!

** DAMN!** There goes anuther $250.00 to the Feds. Well Chief...at least your only out a smaller amount....

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....and finally...here's what happens when a Japanese baby is born....


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