Saturday, December 19, 2009

Just in time fer the Holidays...Order NOW!!!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Thoisday Thuds. The Bitch in the Kitchen!

Well Sir, we'll begin with this "Oldie But Goodie" thats timely fer this here time of the year....


Now Sir, fer those of you who are gonna be a fly'n this Christmas Season, here's sumthin to ponder....


A Christmas Story
for people having a bad day:

When four of Santa's elves got
sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular
ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.

Then Mrs Claus told Santa her
Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the
reindeer, he found that three of
them were about to give birth and
two others had jumped the fence
and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the
sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked,
the toy bag fell to the ground and
all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the
house for a cup of apple cider
and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he
discovered the elves had drank all
the cider and hidden the liquor.
In his frustration, he accidentally
dropped the cider jug, and it broke
into hundreds of little glass pieces
all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and
found the mice had eaten all the
straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang,
and irritated, Santa marched
to the door, yanked it
open, and there stood a
little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully,
'Merry Christmas, Santa.
Isn't this a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you.
Where would you like me to
stick it?'

And so boys & girls thats how the tradition of the little angel on top of the
Christmas tree began.

One of my regular women-folk readers sent me this, "In My Next Life". I think my wife already made this decision....


The big bad Wolf said "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

The little piggy said "Screw off or I'll sneeze on you..."

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

If'n Y'all ever owned and loved a dog, you'll enjoy this picture story

My good amiga, Sue Gertson frum down Texas way sent me this great photo story which no descriptive words are necessary.

Ifn y'all noted, everyone is wearing coats and warm garb so it had t'be pretty damn cold there.

Now Sir, on the other side of the coin we have this story. Although this did have a happy ending its the original event that boggles the mind and just piss's ya off....

8 Year old boy suspended from school for drawing a picture of Jesus.

A school superintendent in Taunton, MA has been ordered to apologize to the family of an 8-year-old boy who was sent home from school and ordered to undergo a psychiatric evaluation after drawing a picture of Jesus on a cross.

“The mayor is very upset and angry,” said Todd Castro, assistant to Mayor Charles Crowley told FOX News Radio. “He spoke with the superintendent this morning and is looking for her to make a public apology and a private apology to the family.”

According to the Taunton Daily Gazette, a boy at Maxham Elementary School was instructed to sketch something that reminded him of Christmas. The child had just returned from a visit to the National Shrine of Our Lady of La Salette – so he drew a stick-figure of Jesus on the cross.

Read more:


Only in Texas...

In a small Texas town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill
and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The
Three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded
into a rage, yelling at me,

"You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages,
And finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said

"See, it says right here, 'The three wise men came from afar.'"

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Sundries

I'm told this here photygraff was taken at a football game somewhere down in Texas.


I guess someone posted this here sign outside a Colorado "Tent City" Homelss village...True!


In the

Department we have...

Hmmm, betcha the next couple of "Millionaire" contestants were also Obama voters...