Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Just to set the record straight....

Another short post t'day as I'm recuperating from celerbratin my 64th yesterday....

I recently had a lively online debate with an old friend from Great Britain who I've known for several years now and leans "left" (but he's really not such a bad sort). He and myself have had several online discussions and "debates" over time, and he recently expressed to me that he believed that the attacks and smears against Gov. Sarah Palin that I talked about were non existent and only "in our(conservative) minds".

I attributed this lack of knowledge to the fact that he resides outside our nation and has not had the opportunity to read, watch and hear the blatantly false statements, E-Mails and accusations being made, primarily over the Internet, but throughout all media as well. I then sent him a news article from Newsmax regarding this topic so he could see for himself just what was going on. However, Newsmax is obviously a publication which leans "right", so my friend may have been skeptical regarding the content of the article.

While visiting my friend "John's" blog, I spotted this link to Newsweek Magazine article and felt that I would enlighten my British friend (and any others who believe she's not being attacked), and maybe, if'n they don't wanna believe the Cookie man, they'll believe Newsweek....

Newsweek: Palin Internet Sliming Rampant, Rumors False

"We've been flooded for the past few days with queries about dubious Internet postings and mass e-mail messages making claims about McCain's running mate, Gov. Palin. We find that many are completely false, or misleading. "

...and of course then there is this.....

Do you believe this shit???

South Carolina Democratic chairwoman Carol Fowler sharply attacked Sarah Palin today, saying John McCain had chosen a running mate “whose primary qualification seems to be that she hasn’t had an abortion.”

Actually, I think that statement holds much more true when talking about Obama....

Can you say DESPICABLE! I'm sorry, but growing up I don't ever recall the Democratic Party so completely out of line, mean and nasty as what I've seen since this campaign, and especially since Sarah came on the scene....

Short Post....but funny....

Well Sir....I can relate to this, especially today, in fact, I'll bet a lot of Y'all out there can relate as well. Now Sir...I ain't sure, but it might just be that all that booze and "wacky-tobaccy" in my younger days just mighta had something to do with this...but...ah... where was I again...oh ya, lookin fer my wallet and keys...

H/T: "Chicago Charlie"...

A couple was touring the capitol in Washington, DC,
and the guide pointed out a tall, benevolent gentleman
as the congressional chaplain.

The lady asked, "What does the chaplain do? Does he pray for the Senate or House?"

The guide answered, "No, he gets up, looks at both houses of Congress,
then prays for the country!"

Yupper..."fish" frum Kentucky got that one right!

....and Susan Gertson shares this breaking news with us....

Whoa! ....Bill Clinton re-registers as a Republican!!!


....some Upstate, New York witticisms....

"It's hotter today than, two gerbils humping in a wool sock!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"That boy is dumber than a box of hair."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."

"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"Gooder than grits."
"If something is really thin, it's "fine as frog's hair."
"Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

Wintery roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
Someone who is bothersome is "like a booger you can't thump off."
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."

"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Uglier than a bucket of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamster's dead"
"I'm just about as welcome at my inlaws, as a hair in a biscuit."

"That boy's oak tree is short a few acorns."


A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use each time he has to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So....when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...


His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:


Gotta go now...Party Time...been around this here world fer 64 years as of t'day....

and I just cain't help but wonder....."Whatever happened to Randolf Scott?"


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Jib-Jab UPDATE: The Ballad of Sarah Palin....

Well didn't take long fer "Jib-Jab" to jump on the "Punch Palin" bandwagon. In truth, I don't really mind this kind of humor regardin Ms. Palin as it's really not that malicious, and most folks realize that it's all done as political satire....

It's when they impugn, twist and lie about her family, kids, character and reputation that really piss's me off. Most folks relate to Sarah because she' us. A hard workin Mom with a family, a career and a no nonsense common sense approach to most things. In other words...just folks.

However....The upside to these left attacks is, the more the left attacks in these personal area's, the bigger the jump in the polls for Sarah. When the left attacks Sarah...they're attacking the regular everyday people of the Nation, and we don't like it.

Keep it up lefties and Sarah and John will be laughing all the way to the White House....

It should be obvious to most folks that considerin the immediate intensity and ferrocity of the attacks on Sarah just how afraid the Democrats, and/or lefties are of her...


Monday, September 08, 2008

Some photygraffs of Sarah...and Somethin t'ponder.....

Well Sir...lookin at these here photygraffs is almost a sexual experience....specially if'n Y'all ever rode a bike, fished or hunted....



"Charlie The Cop" tells us a story regardin a conversation he once had with his Dad....

** Click to Enlarge if'n ya cain't read it.**


Now be a MAJOR "Awww Shit!"....


Well Sir...whilst I was this here cartoon frum "The Gunny", a thought occurred to me...and more than likely, the same thought has occurred to y'all as well, either on a conscious or unconscious level.

We've all been receiving various articles, posts and cartoons regardin the lovely Ms. Palin, some lauding her beauty, accomplishments and courage, others attacking her on various levels, BUT, have y'all noticed that, for the most part, she's being compared to Obama most of the time, not Biden. Here she is running for VP, and she's being attacked by the Yellowstream media and Democrats as if she were a Presidential candidate, not a VP candidate. For the most part, John McCain has been shoved out of the spotlight and temporarily side-lined.

I've been around this here world fer over 60 some years, and I do not ever recall an election where the opposing party (and media) spent so much time attacking and smearing the VP candidate, nor consistantly comparing him/her, to the Presidential candidate.

Now Sir...I know it's obvious to most that her accomplishment's definately far and away exceed those of the Democratic Presidential candidate (...ah...what's his name again), and many of us are not doing backflips over McCain himself as we disagree, to a greater or lesser degree with some of his policies and beliefs. So I believe the below cartoon actually kinda sums up what some of us are thinking, either consciously or unconsciously..... y'all think the Dem's are perhaps a little afraid of Ms. Palin and the excitement and previous government experience she brings to this election?


"What's not to like?.....


"Red State UPDATE":


Sunday, September 07, 2008

Monday Mania....

OK Mates....which one would you rather ride with...???


Hmmm...Well Sir, havin been the Asst. Director to a Crime Lab fer a several years and I never had a CSI like this...Dammit!

H/T: "fish" frum Kentucky....

....and "Chicago Charlie" sends us this here link as to just how beer wurks.....

I'll be willin t'bet that there be one or two of Y'all out there who can attest to this fact....


....and my old friend of over 50 years or so, John Keating, sends along this startling new Medical finding....

New Medical Findings

A recent study conducted by Harvard University found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study by the American Medical Association found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol year.

This means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes me proud to be an American.


Ahhh....Can you spell "Eucalyptus"....


A Country Funeral Story ……

As a young minister in Alabama, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be buried there.

I was not familiar with the backwoods area, and I soon became lost. Being a typical man, I did not stop to ask for directions. I finally arrived an hour late.

I saw the backhoe and the open grave, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

The digging crew was eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and I stepped to the side of the open grave. There I saw the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, as I told them that this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around the grave and stood silently, as I began to pour out my heart and soul.

As I preached about “looking forward to a brighter tomorrow” and “the glory that is to come.” The workers began to say “Amen,” “Praise the Lord,” and “Glory!” The fervor of these men truly inspired me. So, I preached and I preached like I had never preached before, all the way from Genesis to Revelations.

I finally closed the lengthy service with a prayer, thanked the men, and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I heard one of the workers say to another,

“I ain’t NEVER seen nothin’ like that before, and I’ve been puttin’ in Septic tanks for thirty years!”

A Cookshack Thank you Missy Sarah.....
______________________________________ comedian Ron White always says:

You Just Can't Fix Stupid!


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets


I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.


A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'


I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ' Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.'


Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.


I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.' I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the woman driver had set the 'cruise control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.


My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'


Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.. The message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.


A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer......

Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency room!

Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid
and remember - these people can vote.