Saturday, March 15, 2008

Sunday Sundries..TV Commercials of the 50's & 60's..What ya do when ya see the flash..

...and remember...Here's what ya do when ya see the flash.....

Friday, March 14, 2008


Breaking News: Spitzer's hooker holds press conference....


MightyMom frum over at My Wonderful Life sent me a note and photygraff t'day about what her piggy bank looked like after buyin some gas fer her car....

"Look at my piggy bank after I bought gas today."


Here t'is folks...frum "Charlie the Cop"...the "Three Minute Management Course" y'all been waitin fer....

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his
wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell
rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and
runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a
word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that
towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front
of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her
husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next
door neighbor,' she replies. Great!' the husband says,
'Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story : If you share critical
information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to
prevent avoidable exposure

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed
her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the
car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129.' The priest
removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his
hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129.' The priest
apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and
went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the
priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go
forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in
your job, you might miss a great opportunity

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager
are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil
lamp. They rub it and a genie comes out. The genie
says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me
first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be
in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care
in the world.' POOF! She's gone. 'Me next! Me next!'
says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii ,
relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my
life.' POOF! He's gone. 'OK, you're up,' the genie
says to the manager and he says, 'I want those two
back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the
first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.' So, the rabbit
sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of
a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very, very high up

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. 'I would love to
be able to get to the
top of that tree,' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't
got the energy.' Well, why don't you nibble on some
of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed
with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung,
and found it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second
branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was
proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep you there.

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was
so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a
large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by
and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay
there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him
out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began
to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to investigate. Following the sound,
the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow
dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!

This ends the 3-minute management course.

...and anuther wise anectdote frum MightyMom.....

Who's your best friend? …….Your Dog.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.

Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.

When you open the trunk, who's really happy to see you?

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Obama's Pastor.."God DAMN America"... You're judged by the company you keep....


For all you clueless, mesmerized "Obama Girls (and Boys)" out there.....

This is the hate spewing, race baiting "pastor" that has mentored Obama for over twenty years..... watch the video and read the report.....and if you still want to vote for this charismatic, good looking, completely unqualified, platitude speakin, and (dare I say) "clean looking, well spoken" empty figure it out....

One of the earliest lessons I learned in life was that you are judged by the company you keep...right or wrong...that's just the way it is....

Reposted from "The Jawa Report".....

"As opposed to "God Bless America." Very nice words to come out of a clergyman's mouth, especially one who claims to be Christian and not Wahhabi.

This is not good news for a candidate who makes a point of eschewing an American flag pin, has a Che Guevara-worshipping staffer, a wife who has rarely been proud to be an American, and likes to cup his balls during the National Anthem.

Here's a sample of the hatred spewed by Jeremiah Wright, the man who married Barack and Michelle Obama:

"The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing 'God Bless America.' No, no, no, God damn America, that's in the Bible for killing innocent people," he said in a 2003 sermon. "God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme."

In addition to damning America, he told his congregation on the Sunday after Sept. 11, 2001 that the United States had brought on al Qaeda's attacks because of its own terrorism.

"We bombed Hiroshima, we bombed Nagasaki, and we nuked far more than the thousands in New York and the Pentagon, and we never batted an eye," Rev. Wright said in a sermon on Sept. 16, 2001."

I know...I said I wouldn't post political shit... but I put this into the format post on Thursday when it all first came out...and even though Y'all have seen it already on the MSM...I'm gonna post it again anyways because these two guys, Obama and his "pastor" really scare the shit outta me regarding just whats in store for America....

Here be sumthin fer ya t'think about.....


(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy of U.S.Dept of Health Human Services.


Now think about this:


(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188.

Statistics courtesy of FBI


So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.


Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'




Please alert your friends to this alarming threat.

We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!


Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Friday Shenanigans..A Military Hero..some cute singers.. and..Loving Animals...

Little Johnny's at it again....

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,

"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX,ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.' Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?'

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom .'

Spc.Monica Lin Brown~ Medic Awarded Silver Star

Spc. Monica Lin Brown from Lake Jackson Texas of 82 Air borne stands guard at a forwarded operating base in Khost, Afghanistan.

Medic Stationed in Afghanistan Becomes 2nd Woman to Be Awarded Silver Star

Fox News

CAMP SALERNO, Afghanistan

A 19-year-old medic from Texas will become the first woman in Afghanistan and only the second female soldier since World War II to receive the Silver Star, the nation's third-highest medal for valor.

Army Spc. Monica Lin Brown saved the lives of fellow soldiers after a roadside bomb tore through a convoy of Humvees in the eastern Paktia province in April 2007, the military said.

After the explosion, which wounded five soldiers in her unit, Brown ran through insurgent gunfire and used her body to shield wounded comrades as mortars fell less than 100 yards away, the military said.

"I did not really think about anything except for getting the guys to a safer location and getting them taken care of and getting them out of there," Brown told The Associated Press on Saturday at a U.S. base in the eastern province of Khost.
Brown, of Lake Jackson, Texas, is scheduled to receive the Silver Star later this month. She was part of a four-vehicle convoy patrolling near Jani Kheil in the eastern province of Paktia on April 25, 2007, when a bomb struck one of the Humvees.

"We stopped the convoy. I opened up my door and grabbed my aid bag," Brown said.
She started running toward the burning vehicle as insurgents opened fire. All five wounded soldiers had scrambled out.

"I assessed the patients to see how bad they were. We tried to move them to a safer location because we were still receiving incoming fire," Brown said.
Pentagon policy prohibits women from serving in front-line combat roles — in the infantry, armor or artillery, for example. But the nature of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, with no real front lines, has seen women soldiers take part in close-quarters combat more than previous conflicts.

Four Army nurses in World War II were the first women to receive the Silver Star, though three nurses serving in World War I were awarded the medal posthumously last year, according to the Army's Web site.

Brown, of the 4th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 4th Brigade Combat Team, said ammunition going off inside the burning Humvee was sending shrapnel in all directions. She said they were sitting in a dangerous spot.

"So we dragged them for 100 or 200 meters, got them away from the Humvee a little bit," she said. "I was in a kind of a robot-mode, did not think about much but getting the guys taken care of."
For Brown, who knew all five wounded soldiers, it became a race to get them all to a safer location. Eventually, they moved the wounded some 500 yards away and treated them on site before putting them on a helicopter for evacuation.

"I did not really have time to be scared," Brown said. "Running back to the vehicle, I was nervous (since) I did not know how badly the guys were injured. That was scary."
The military said Brown's "bravery, unselfish actions and medical aid rendered under fire saved the lives of her comrades and represents the finest traditions of heroism in combat."

Sgt. Leigh Ann Hester, of Nashville, Tenn., received the Silver Star in 2005 for gallantry during an insurgent ambush on a convoy in Iraq. Two men from her unit, the 617th Military Police Company of Richmond, Ky., also received the Silver Star for their roles in the same action.

Ladies and Gentlemen....courtesy of Susan Gertson frum Texas..."The Cactus Cuties"...

Thanks Sue...they were absolutly GREAT!!!

Well Sir...if'n yur ever out on the North Polar Ice cap...and ya happen to meet a Walrus that dances with ya....have another drink, sit back and enjoy the show....

Also courtesy of Missy Susan....

...Animal Love....

** NOTE** Now Sir...I did have anuther video in this here spot fer awhile...but I thought it might just be a bit too "risque" fer folks like the Chief and others in that it might just hurt their delicate psychies....BUT...Y'all can see it by goin over to The Dread Pundit Bluto and goin a day or two back to his post "Are you Lonesome tonight".....

I am a: Heckler and Koch, Model P7 in 9mm
Firearms Training
What kind of handgun are YOU?


Thursday PotPourri...and... Captain Midnight...


Chicken Marsala.....

Movin be a recipe' for Chicken Marsala from my very good friend Susan Gertson from Eagle Lake, Texas.....

Chicken Marsala

Flour, salt & pepper
2 Tbsp. olive oil
3 Tbsp butter, separated
1 lb chicken
1 lb sliced mushrooms (I used baby portabellas)
3 large cloves garlic, minced
1 1/4 cups chicken stock
¾ cup. Marsala wine
2 Tbsp half-n-half

Lightly dredge cutlets in flour seasoned with salt and pepper.

Heat olive oil and a tablespoon of butter in pan to medium-high; add cutlets. Turn over when cutlet changes color one-quarter of way up and seared side is a golden brown. Flip and cook other side until browned. Transfer cutlets to clean plate and set aside.

Reduce heat to medium and add mushrooms, garlic and and a tablespoon of butter to pan, stirring occasionally, being careful the garlic doesn't burn. Cook about 3 min, until softened and browned. Stir in Marsala, stock, and half and half. Add cutlets; reduce heat to LOW.

Cook 6-7 min until cutlets are done (should have an internal temperature of 165 degrees F). If sauce is thin, continue cooking so that it may reduce, or add a bit of cornstarch to thicken. Transfer cutlets to clean serving platter and serve with sauce.

Now good amiga MightyMom from over at "My Wonderfull Life" sent me these and mates....I don't care who y'all are...THESE HERE ARE FUNNY!!


Well Sir...I don't know bout y'all...but I was a member...Secret Decoder badge and all...


God said, "Adam, I Want you to do Something for Me."

Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You Want me to do?"

God said, "Go down Into that valley."

Adam said, "What's a Valley?"

God explained it to Him. Then God said, "Cross the river."

Adam said, "What's a River?"

God explained that To him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...."

Adam said, "What is a Hill?"

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, "On The other side of the Hill you will find a Cave."

Adam said, "What's a Cave?"

After God explained, He said, "In the cave You will find a woman."

Adam said, "What's a Woman?"

So God explained That to him, too.

Then, God said, "I Want you to Reproduce."

Adam said, "How do I do that?"

God first said (under His breath), "Geez....."

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down Into the valley,

Across the river, and
River the hill, into the Cave, and finds the

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience Wearing thin, said Angrily, "What is it Now?"

And Adam said....



LOVE THIS!!!!!!)



What's a headache?"

Thanks to "Charlie the Cop" fer the joke.....



Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Wednesday Wanks.....

Before we begin t'day's post...I got a question fer y'all. In the last post there is a video of a woman gettin a "phone call"...and I guess ya might just say she got the phone call frum BOB...I ask you...WHO IS BOB? If'n ya know the answer...put it in this comment section.....

Well Sir...these rare photygraffs were sent t'me by my good buddy, Clint Griffin frum out San Diego way. Clint is the official Ships Photgrapher for the USS Midway docked in SD...

Subject: Rare Moose sightning......

Not one, but two ! Truly amazing ! These animals were photographed just north of the Wisconsin border on a highway near Marenisco , MI

Once in awhile there is an opportunity to take in a piece of nature that you may never see. In these days of unrest and turmoil it is great to see that Mother Nature can still produce some wondrous beauty.

The odds of seeing an albino moose are astronomical and to see this in the upper peninsula of

Michigan, near Wisconsin, is even greater than astronomical. To see two of them together is

nearly impossible.

We wanted to share these photos with as many people as possible because you will probably

never have a chance to see this rare sight again. This is a really special treat, so enjoy the

shot of a life time.

Wanna go swimmin.....?


...And Yet anuther great reason to tell those assholes at Verizon whatcha think of em...

Well Folks...I know I said I was going to "attempt" to post only humorous and good articles...but...whenever I read about or hear about any of our fine Military folks gettin screwed or hurt by ANYONE...especially certain companies within the United States...I get rightfully pissed off.

Now Sir...a couple of weeks back, it was learned that a Verizon employee, who was doing his second tour in Afghanistan/Iraq (Voluntarily), had all the American flags in his work cubicle taken down in his absence because some asshole manager thought they might be considered "Propaganda".....what a load of fucking bullshit that is.

So now ...Here is what Verizon is pulling now on our brave Marines.... Read the following and see if'n this don't piss ya off enuff to NEVER, EVER use Verizon's services, and to tell everybody ya know not to use them if'n they can help it.....

Verizon Cancels Returning Marines' Cellphones, Gives Their Number Away, Charges Them $500

Two Marines, a husband and wife, found Verizon had an unpleasant welcome-home gift waiting for them when they got back from serving in Iraq: canceled cellphones, a $500bill, and their phone numbers were given to other people. Under the Service Members Civil Relief Act, when a soldier goes off to war, they're able to send their deployment letters to their service companies and get their service put on hold. Apparently in the case of Haley Katz and her husband, that letter wasn't good enough. When they complained and reached a manager, the manager told them " it was their fault they owed the money", and then hung up on them. Read their letter as published in Stars and Stripes, inside...

At 3:30 a.m (Iraq time), [recently], my husband and I called Verizon Wireless to reactivate our phones, as we are returning home [from Iraq] soon and wanted to catch the company during its business hours. Upon speaking with a customer service representative, it became apparent that Verizon not only suspended our contracts, it disconnected our phones and gave our numbers away to other customers.

What is truly amazing is that the company took the letters our commanding officers signed regarding our deployment dates, and deemed the letters not worthy of suspending our contracts. It continued to charge us for those months without notifying us and when we did not pay, it disconnected the lines.

Long story short, when we called to reactivate our phones they told us our numbers no longer existed and that we owed them nearly $500!

When we asked to speak to a manager, we were told nothing could be done. When we did actually speak to a manager we were told it was our fault that we owed the money. The manager then proceeded to say "We're sorry but nothing can be done for you. Goodbye."

We were hung up on ... in Iraq ... at 3:30 in the morning. Real professional.

We spoke to another manager who was courteous enough to recredit our accounts and cut all remaining ties with their service. We are no longer with Verizon Wireless.

For all of the soldiers, sailors, Marines and airmen out there, make sure you are checking up on the status of your accounts. Apparently, a letter from your command stating you are deploying is not enough these days. And aside from seeing service members off at Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point (N.C.), I am not sure what else they are looking for.

Marine 2nd Lt. Haley Katz
Camp Fallujah, Iraq

There's gratitude for ya.

Cookies Comment: BASTARDS.... Photobucket

Well Sir....with Summer just around the corner....t'is almost boatin season again, and a question that has plagued women-folk fer many years is...Why Do Men Buy Boats?

Now Sir...the good "Chief" from over at Smolderin Embers sent me the answer to this question I thought I would share with y'all...specially you men-folk...

Photobucket WARNIN: Partial Nudity Ahead Matey's...

Why men buy boats!

Photobucket***Hummmph...what a crew of pussy's***

...and we'll close with these great memories...SOUND ON!


...and...I ain't sure...but I just mighta screwed up agin yesterday and fergot to give a Hat-Tip to MightyMom from "My Wonderfull Life". So...if'n I be an apology Hat Tip to ya Sarah....

Monday, March 10, 2008

Tuesday Tidbits...

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captian speaking. I would like eveyone to look out the left side of the aircraft as there is absolutley nothing to see on the right side....."

"Who us? We've been in the bed of the truck the whole time Officer..."

"That was the funniest joke I ever heard!!!"

"OK girls, just follow me..I won't let anything happen to you."

Oooopps...ah..hi BOB (Who knows who BOB is?)...


Caution: The below photygraffs are of an actual Polar Bear attack... and may be considered by some to be too graphic and violent!

These are pictures of an actual polar bear attack in Churchill, Manitoba & were taken while people watched and did nothing to stop the attack .

Incredible reports from the local newspaper say that the victim will make a full recovery.

** Click on Pic's to enlarge if'n ya have to.**




"My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you'll join with me as we try to change it." (B. Obama)

Now Sir...there be some truth in these here numberrs matey....

You Do The Math...

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Monday...Some humor t'start yur week with...

OK Mates...It's Monday...and fer most folks...yuk...time t'go back t'work...BUT...

When you have one of those 'I Hate My Job' days, [even if retired you have those sometimes] try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer
section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. "

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,

'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'


Woman swallowed whole by leopard survives!

Rescuers chop off head of leopard just in time.

Story seemed too fantastic to be true.


This photograph is what finally convinced me:

....actually...she looks more like she should have a part on "The Soprano's"...
____________________________________ fer some various Newspaper ads and confidentials...


Photobucket Partial Nudity and Adult Content Ahead!!

For years the conventional wisdom has been that the best treatment for a black eye is to put a piece of raw meat on it. Scientific studies have proven that, while the raw meat helps reduce the swelling and aids in the healing process, using a cold steak actually delays the recovery of broken blood vessels that cause the black and blue marks around the eyes. These same studies have shown that application of warm, soft, and tender meat is the most effective in helping the eyes to recover from the damage.

POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS: Although this medical procedure absolutely reduces the swelling in the area of the black eye in most males, it has been noticed that the swelling appears to be transitory in nature and may appear in other areas of the body.

So, the next time you get a black eye, here's how to treat it...





Almost seven years ago I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power.

At first, I felt a swell of pride and patriotism as I watched George W. Bush take his oath of office. However, all that pride quickly vanished as I later watched the Clintons board Air Force One for the last time.

I saw 21 Marines, in full dress uniform with rifles, fire a 21-gun salute to the outgoing President and first lady. It was then that I realized how far America*s military had deteriorated under the Clinton administration.

Every last one of them missed !!!

Hat Tips for above...Patrick frum prh...A Day In The Life, Sue Gertson and CSSSCC frum down Tampa, Florida way....