Friday, July 18, 2008

Saturday quickie's.....

Well Sir...we'll start with this here "Groooaaner frum "Charlie the Cop"....

A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks,
"Bartender, got any specials today?"

Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of
fact we have a new drink, invented by
A gynecologist patron of ours.

It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks, "Good grief, what do you call that?"

The bartender replied,

"It's called a
"Pabst Smir."

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day..

My tire was thumping.

I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.



Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.


Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'


Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.


How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

~~~~~~! ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you .

I've changed my mind.


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.


As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...

That you're not here to ruin it for me.


Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )


Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~! ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~

When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.


We have been friends for a very long time ..

let's say we stop?


I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?


Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep


So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay


...and Sarah frum My Wonderful Life send us the...


It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes, and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke I consider a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As all men will)

Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, 'I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00......on one condition.'

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, 'You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's handalong with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said....

'Clean my house.'

Women are not stupid.


Fer guys only.....

The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the
smallest is the male sperm.

A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to
your stomach..

One human hair can support 3kg. or 6.6lbs.

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13
feet long when he died.

Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the
liver than men with hair.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one
square inch.

Women blink twice as much as men.

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.

When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate.
They do the same when you are looking at some one you

Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing

The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.




You looked at your thumb didn't you?

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Friday frivolity....

158 years ago

Do you know what happened this week back in 1850, 158 years ago?

California became a state.

The State had no electricity.

The State had no money.

Almost everyone spoke Spanish.

There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically, it was just like it is today,
except back then, the women had real breasts and the men didn’t hold hands.



A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar turn and stares at them.

Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I’m a graduate student in psychology and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing situations.”

To which, he responds at the top of his lungs, “What do you mean, $200?”

....and be some politcal cartoons sent t'me by an person named Susan from Eagle Lake, Texas who wishes to remain anonymous....

**CLICK TO ENLARGE if'n y'all need to...**

Thanks amiga.....

Ahhh Yes...The good old days......


"God Bless America".....


Hey Folks...gotta Thank that anonymouse person named Sue Gertson fer just about ALL of todays jokes and submissions......

Havin a "Bad Day"....Friendship..... and some Tax info...



Some lasting Friendship....

This was sent to me by my good friend Dave Brown....

SOME INTERESTING DATA ON TAXES sent to me by Susan Gertson......

Proposed changes in taxes after the 2008 General election:


0% on home sales up to $500,000 per home (couples). McCain does not propose any change in existing home sales income tax.

28% on profit from ALL home sales

How does this affect you? If you sell your home and make a profit, you will pay 28% of your gain on taxes. If you are heading toward retirement and would like to down-size your home or move into a retirement community, 28% of the money you make from your home will go to taxes. This proposal will adversely affect the elderly who are counting on the income from their homes as part of their retirement income.


MCCAIN 15% (no change)

OBAMA 39.6%

How will this affect you? If you have any money invested in stock market, IRA, mutual funds, college funds, life insurance, retirement accounts, or anything that pays or reinvests dividends, you will now be paying nearly 40% of the money earned on taxes if Obama becomes president. The experts predict that 'Higher tax rates on dividends and capital gains would crash the stock market, yet do absolutely nothing to cut the deficit.'


MCCAIN (no changes)

Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $31,250

OBAMA (reversion to pre-Bush tax cuts)

Single making 30K - tax $8,400
Single making 50K - tax $14,000
Single making 75K - tax $23,250
Married making 60K - tax $16,800
Married making 75K - tax $21,000
Married making 125K - tax $38,750

Under Obama, your taxes could almost double!


MCCAIN 0% (No change, Bush repealed this tax)

OBAMA Restore the inheritance tax

Many families have lost businesses, farms, ranches, and homes that have been in their families for generations because they could not afford the inheritance tax. Those willing their assets to loved ones will only lose them to these taxes.


New government taxes proposed on homes that are more than 2400 square feet.

New gasoline taxes (as if gas weren't high enough already)

New taxes on natural resources consumption (heating gas, water, electricity)

New taxes on retirement accounts, and last but not least....

New taxes to pay for socialized medicine so we can receive the same level of medical care as other third-world countries!!!

You can verify a lot of the above at the following web sites:

(and there are many more to choose from, just use your favorite search engine)

I'll just let Y'all make up yur own minds....

A humorous campaign "Jib-Jab" card fer Y'all......


Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Some Potpourri....

UPDATE: Regarding the Gregory J Harris Military Courtesy Room at the Syracuse International Airport. We just went National as far the news is considered. The AP picked up our story and thus far it has been in at least 70 various publications, as well as USA Today and The Air Force Times...

We've also been contacted by several local TV stations, and a national broadcasting system for interviews. This has taken on a life of its own, and when I say the four of us, Loren Davies, Leroy Bowen, Mary Anne Reitano and myself have been completely overwhelmed with queries, contacts and various offers of assistance, it's close to an understatement....

If I've got to be worn out and fatigued...this is in a GOOD way....

Lost in Translation......




Photobucket...ADULT CONTENT

Yupper...speed ain't necessarily everything.....


Y'all gotta thank Clint Griffin from out San Diego way, and "Charlie the Cop" from Chicago fer most of the above submissions.....