A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to ALL...

Well Sir....first off...I stole this beautiful CHRISTmas picture frum Mr. Patrick over at Born Again Redneck cause I liked it so much....

Now Sir...like most a y'all out there, I got a ton of preparin and cookin t'do to get ready fer CHRISTmas day...so I'm probly just gonna leave this post up fer a day or so......

This first photygraph is the ultimate gift a wife can get fer her husband...

...and the second photygraph is how Santa comes when he's in Alabama......

...and the last cartoon insures I just cain't go wrong in whatever I wishes y'all...

...Ya gotta have heart...miles & miles & miles of heart.. + The Purina Dog Food Diet...

Well Sir....many years back when my youngins were real young...I had just served up a bowl of Pickled Venison Heart to a huntin buddy who came o'er fer a visit. Two of my four kids, ages 8 & 9 came over to the table and asked "Whatcha eatin?" Try some I said, knowin that if'n they knew what it was they'd never try it.

They hesitated and agin asked what it was. Agin I answered try it. They finally tried it and loved it. My other two kids, observin that their sibs where enjoyin somethin, came o'er and the next thing ya know...they was all eatin it. After all of us had finished off this tasty appetizer, my kids agin asked what it was they had just eaten. I told em....and no surprize...the "Bambi Syndrome" kicked in. They eventually got over it and from that day on, I couldn't keep Pickled Venison Heart marinatin in the refrigerator fer two days...let alone 3-5 as is recommended...

So...here's a real simple recipe' I've used o'ver the years....


Pickled Venison Heart

1 1/2 Cups vinegar
1 c. sugar
2 tsp. pickling spice
2 small, thinly sliced onions
1/4 Cup water

Cook heart(s) covered for two hours in a salt water brine (about a palmful of salt).

Rinse, then cut the heart in half (I find it easier to cut from top to bottom). Remove any grizzle and arteries. Cut into 1 1/2" bite size pieces and place into a sealable container.

Add all the above ingredients together and bring to a boil. Quickly pour hot mixture over heart pieces. Refridgerate for at least 3-5 days....then ENJOY!

The Purina Dog Food Diet...


I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow fer my Wolf/Dog, Czarina, and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........

Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina
Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned
me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

UP UP and AWAAAYY.....

Well Sir...this here joke was sent t'me by Sue G and I liked it so much...I just had t'print it........

Plop plop, fizz fizz....

The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!)

When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. The theme: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra.
Slight variations were acceptable.

About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone !!!!!!!!

The top 10 were:

10. Viagra, Whaazz zz up!
9. Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper.
8. Viagra, like a rock!
7. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight.
6. Viagra, Be all that you can be.
5. Viagra, Reach out and touch someone.
4. Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
3. Viagra, Home of the whopper!
2. Viagra, We bring good things to Life!

And the unanimous number one slogan:

1. This is your winkie. This is your winkie on drugs.



...and she also sent me this one...which I REALLY LIKE......

Subject: English Hospitality

An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wandersaround, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the lads, and have a pint of Guinness.

After awhile, he finds himself in a very high class neighborhood.....big, stately residences... no pubs, no stores, no restaurants, and worst of all... NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

He really, really has to go, after all those Guinnesses.

He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings and decides to use the wall to solve his problem.

As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "I say, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."

"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a
public restroom."

"Ah, yes," said the bobby..."Just follow me".

He leads him to a back "delivery alley", then along a wall to a gate, which he opens.

"In there," points the bobby. "Whiz away sir, anywhere you want."

The fellow enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured grass lawns, statuary, fountains, sculpted hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.

Since he has the cop's blessing, he unburdens himself and is greatly relieved.

As he goes back through the gate, he says to the bobby,"That was really decent of you... is that what you call 'English Hospitality'?"

"No, sir" replies the bobby, "that is what we call the French Embassy."

Yupper...just a good chuckle outta this here joke....

Well Sir...fer some reason this here joke really tickled my fancy...and I ain't gonna tell y'all where my fancy is....



A doctor goes out and buys the best car on the market, a brand new
Ferrari.

It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him
$500,000. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.

An old man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to
him.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, "What kind of
car ya got there, sonny?"

The doctor replies, "A Ferrari. It cost half a million dollars!"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the doctor
proudly.

The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty
nice car, all right... but I'll stick with my Moped!"

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man
just what his car can do.

He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror.

It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!


Something whips by him going much faster! "What on earth could be
going faster than my Ferrari?" the doctor asks himself.

He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and
passes the Moped at 275 mph.

WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH! He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror
and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and
takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again!

The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing
the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still
alive.

He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My Gosh! Is there
anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Unhook my suspenders from your side view
mirror".

Bein the Holidays...lets get some recipe's out t'ya...

Well Sir...not gonna waste much time ceptin t'say a big Cookshack Thanks to all who left congratulatory comments bout this here man & womans 40th Weddin Anniversary....

Now Sir...here's some great recipe's frum Sue Gertson down Eagle Lake Texas way...and ya might wanna use one or two of em around the holidays.....

Pumpkin Spice Cake With Honey Cream Cheese Frosting

For Cake:
1 stick (8 Tbsp.) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 ¼ c. light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 c. fresh or canned pure pumpkin (about 1/2 of a 15 ounce can)
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
2 c. sifted cake flour
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/8 tsp. ground cloves
1/2 c. (120 ml) buttermilk, room temperature

For Frosting:
8 oz. cream cheese, room temperature
1/4 c. unsalted butter, room temperature
2 Tbsp. honey
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. confectioners' (powdered or icing) sugar, sifted

For Garnish:
¼ cup walnuts or pecans (optional)

Preheat the oven to 350-degrees F. and place rack in center of oven. Grease two 8- or 9-inch cake pans, lining the bottom with parchment. Set aside.

In the bowl of your electric mixer (or with a hand mixer), cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy (about 2-3 minutes). Add the eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each addition. Add the pumpkin puree and vanilla and beat until incorporated.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and spices. Add the flour mixture and buttermilk alternately to the pumpkin batter, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Divide the batter between the prepared pans. Bake for approximately 25 - 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes and then invert and remove the cakes from their pans. Cool completely before frosting.

Frosting:
Place the cream cheese and butter in the bowl of an electric mixer (or use a hand mixer) and beat until smooth. Add the honey, vanilla and confectioners' sugar and beat (slowly at first) to combine. Adjust syrup or sugar until you have the right consistency.

Assemble:
Place one of the cake layers, top side down, on a serving plate. Frost with a layer of icing. Place the second cake, top side up, onto the first layer and frost. Garnish with nuts if desired. Refrigerate but bring to room temperature before serving.

Susan’s Coconut Pecan Bread Pudding

4 C. hot milk 1 can flaked coconut
2 ½ C. coarse bread crumbs* 1 C. finely chopped pecans
1 ½ C. sugar 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
4 eggs, well beaten 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
2/3 C. melted butter 1/2 tsp. Mexican vanilla
½ can Eagle Brand milk 1/2 Tbl. almond extract

Mix hot milk, bread crumbs, and 1/2 cup sugar and set aside to soak. In a separate bowl mix eggs, melted butter, Eagle Brand milk, remaining sugar, and seasonings until well blended, then fold in coconut and pecans.

Combine the two mixtures and pour into a buttered 9¡± x 13¡± baking pan. Bake for approximately 1 hour at 325˚ or until a knife inserted in middle comes out clean.
Mixture will still move when jiggled, but will firm up when cooled.

*I used torn-up pieces of French bread to develop this recipe and it was very good.

This recipe produces a wet bread pudding that might be good with a drizzle of chocolate sauce but is sweet enough and wet enough not to need any additional sauce.

Alternates to the coconut and pecans could include chocolate chips, any kind of berries (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries or in a combination), raisins, bits of peaches, pineapple, apples and/or any other type of nuts you might prefer. (When adjusting the kind of fruit added, consider the sweetness of the fruit and adjust the sugar accordingly.)

...and if'n y'all got some company comin o'er...here's a great soundin dip....

Hot Artichoke and Spinach Dip

10 oz. frozen, chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1 (14 oz.) can artichoke hearts, drained
1 c. mayonnaise
1-1/2 c. Parmesan cheese, shredded (fresh)
1 1/2 c. Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
Garlic salt to taste
2 tsp. Tabasco

Preheat oven to 350°
Squeeze water from spinach. Chop artichoke hearts well.
Combine all ingredients and mix well.
Pour in 1 1/2-quart dish, bake for 30 minutes