Saturday, September 04, 2010

Party Animals!

Now Sir, this here next video reminds me of....well...ah, ME, back in the day when I was with the Seabee's and stationed at Gitmo (Guantanamo Bay, Cuba). On Liberty weekends, hisself and a couple of shipmates used to go to Montego Bay and/or Kingston Jamaica, Hamilton, Bermuda, Nassau Bahama's (fer some Bahama Mommas), St. Thomas/St. John's or St. Criox., etc.. Although the background scenery's look familiar, **sigh**, I gotta say that because of "151" Jamaican rum (75.5% alcohol), it sorta erased most of the specific memories. Just as well perhaps.

Talk about act'n "Squirrelly"...

Puss & Booze.

Uh Oh......this could be trouble.

...and me favorite old Sea Shanty....

Friday, September 03, 2010

"Thank You my fellow Americans". BEANS!! Breaking News UPDATE!

BREAKING NEWS: This just in. According to "MightyMom", a Texas mother, A "crop circle" has recently been discovered just outside Lubbock, Tx. This appears to be the works of intelligent aliens (of the extraterrestrial type). Even they have seen enough/


Dear Fellow Americans:

For only the second time in my adult life, I am not ashamed of my country. I want to thank the hard working American people for paying $242 thousand dollars plus additional expenses for my vacation in Spain . My daughter Sasha, several long-time family friends, my personal staff and various guests had a wonderful time. Honestly, you just haven't lived until you have stayed in a $2,500.00 per night suite at a 5-Star luxury hotel. We only booked 70 rooms for our friends, staff and family. Thank you also for the use of Air Force 2 and the 70 Secret Service personnel who tagged along to be sure we were safe and cared for at all times.

Air Force 2 only used 47,500 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and carbon emissions were a mere 1,031 tons of CO2. It costs only $11,500 per hour to operate Air Force 2 and each additional plane for the other members of our party group. These are only rough estimates, but they are close (who's counting?). That's quite a carbon footprint as my good friend Al Gore would say, so we must ask the American citizens to drive smaller, more fuel efficient cars and drive less too, so we can lessen our combined carbon footprint.

I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. I do appreciate your sacrifice and do hope you find work soon. I was really exhausted after Barack took our family on a luxury vacation in Maine a few weeks ago. I just had to get away for a few days. Will write more from Martha's Vineyard where we will spend
our sixth vacation this year with more of our family and friends.


Michelle Obama

I doubt there is anyone out there who would begrudge the President and his family the need for a vacation (or even two), after all. it is the most stressful job in the world, however, this vacation that Michelle Obama took with all her aids, friends, some family members and Secret Service agents was, IMHO way over the top.

The timing couldn't have been worse when one considers the unemployment figures (which BTW many experts feel are in fact much higher than the figures being released) and the number of hard working Americans that have lost their homes because of these very tough economic times. If fingers of blame need to be pointed as a cause for these "hard times" one has to begin with George Bush (and before), followed by Obama and company greatly exacerbating the situation with their out of control government spending and an overall failure to adequately address this particular issue.

What really irked Cookie about this vacation was the sense that many Americans got of an "In yur Face" and arrogant attitude displayed by the Obamas. I know her vacation is relatively old news but after just watching one of my hard working neighbors (worked hard all their lives) lose everything it still pisses me off. Now Sir, the above letter was a typical "joke" E-mail I received from a regular reader and I'm NOT sure whether or not the part about "six vacations" is accurate or not, so if this is in error, please feel free to correct it.

Now Sir, with the economy such as it is, and no immediate relief in sight, we'd all better get ready to tighten our belts and decrease the amount of our food budgets. With this in mind, and summer now almost officially at an end, here be a great recipe fer real "Pork & Beans" that not only tastes great but, when done correctly will actually have more pulled pork than beans. Everyone who has ever followed Cookie's recipe correctly have simply raved about the flavor of this dish, so, here y'all go, "Civil War Pork & Beans".

COOKIE'S NOTE: Again, economy related, the cost of pork might just get a little prohibitive so y'all may have to substitute the pork with either Bear, Beaver, Opossum, Skunk, Ground Hog or Alaskan Musk Ox meat, or whatever meat is most widely available in yur area.

Civil War Camp Pork & Beans
Ingredients (adjust according to amount of meat):

• 2-5# cans Van deCamps (or whatever brand of beans y'all like) pork & beans.
• 5-10 pounds boneless country style pork ribs (enough to fill up a 9X13 baking pan)
• 3 small cans tomato sauce (or substitute catsup or BBQ sauce)
• 1/2 cup vinegar or to taste
• 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar
• 2 clove garlic freshly pressed
• 2 finely chopped onion
• Black pepper to taste
• Pinch red pepper
* I also added 2 cups of Maple Syrup to the Pork & Beans later in the recipe.

Trim the fat off the meat. Combine the tomato sauce, vinegar, brown sugar, garlic, onion, black & red pepper. Mix the meat in the sauce until it is well coated. Let it marinate in this sauce over night. Place the meat into a baking pan and bake in oven at 300° for approximately 3 hours or until the meat flakes apart. When done take meat out of pan and let cool. Pull (do not cut ) the meat apart into small chunks.
Pour one can a the Pork & Beans inta a very large aluminum bakin pan (or use 2 pans if'n ya needs to), pour 1 cup of the Maple Syrup into the Pork & Beans and mix in. Now Sir...put the pulled pork meat and any left over marinade onto this layer of beans. Now...pour the other can a Pork & Beans, and the other cup of Maple Syrup over this, mix in, and put it back inta the oven and bake fer 1 hour at 350 degrees.

Top with chopped onion and chopped crispy bacon. Serve with hot rolls or biscuits.

Lets end with an uplifting OBG....

Thursday, September 02, 2010

"Stupid is as Stupid does."

My good friend John Yowan from Chanute, Kansas sent me this UNBELIEVABLY STUPID and completely IGNORANT woman and her YouTube posting. This is almost beyond belief.

"There were NO rainbows 20 years ago!"


How in God's name did this Admiral keep a straight face??

Thanks Susan for reminding me of how screwed we actually are!!


This 64 year old man had just returned from a charity event and injured himself on the stairs to his home. As the paramedics who treated him were leaving, a couple of completely stupid asshole deputy sheriffs (who give the rest of us a bad name) wound up tasering the man three times, continually telling him to "stop resisting".


Well Sir, this is undoubtedly a top priority for our congressional folks to be addressing. Ferget the economy, the horrible unemployment situation, an unbelievable national debt etc., etc., etc.. Lets use our time wisely and go after steriod users. This congressmans stupidity becomes even more evident as the vidoe goes on.


Hmmm, sumthin stinks in our great halls of government. **SIGH**, and we elected these idiots. What does this say about us voters? Sleep well tonight, our government has things well in hand.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Wednesday Wanks...Breaking News! Saudi women allowed to drive!!

A big Cookshack Thanks to "Chicago Charlie" fer that one!!!

The Buttocks

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.

He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'

'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother
kiss you on the cheek.'

Gotta Thanks my old Seabee buddy "FishinMagician" fer that one!!

Gotta give a big thanks to my buddy "The Chief" fer passing this one along to me!!

Look at this lady - Let us never forget!

"The world hasn't just become' s always been wicked. The prize doesn't always go to the most deserving."

Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena.

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist.

She had an 'ulterior motive'.

She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews (being German).

Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids).

She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto.

The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.

During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants.

She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely.

Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard.

After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family.

Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.

A few years ago Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize.

She was not selected.

Al Gore won --- for a slide show on Global Warming.

63 years later


There is absolutely NO SANE explanation that defines the logic to this decision to select this masseuse grope'n, adulterous, lie'n piece of shit to have received The Nobel Piece prize over this wonderful woman.


Some old school Cowboy logic....




Sorta brings a tear to yur eye, don't it?

The older we get....

**Although I hate to admit this, I have a daughter who is guilty of #4. I promised Shellie I would never mention her name in connection with this temporary lack of common sense, so I won't tell y'all which daughter it was .**


Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)


I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code
so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.


A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'



I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'


Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!


A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him into the emergency room!'

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

...and my parting bit of wisdom comes to us courtesy of the Chief who apparently learned this the hard way... **just kidd'n**

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Getting back to God and restoring Honor back to our nation.

As expected, the "lame stream media" didn't exactly know what to make of the Glenn Beck's gathering in Washington, DC this past weekend. To begin with, although the truthful crowd estimates( all one has to do is look at the video) were believed to be between 300 to 500 hundred THOUSAND folks, many of the media reported the crowd to be in "the 10s of thousands". Nuthin new here. They almost always minimize attendance size of any conservative event to attempt to marginalize what is really happened.

...and those notorious lie'n bastards at CBS reported that only 87,000 attended. Now if after look'n at these photygraffs you want to believe that then yur a completely brainwashed idiot!!

And of course OBOZO had to intimate what Glenn and company did by saying something like "he was surprised Glenn was able to STIR UP so many folks in this economy", his obvious goal being to make folks think he (Glenn) was a "rabble rouzer" or trouble maker.

Well Sir, the event was COMPLETELY NON POLITICAL. Glenn had asked folks NOT to bring any political signs or negative things, and as far as I could see from the below video, almost all folks in attendance obliged.

Now folks, this video is a little over an hour long, and I expect very few of y'all to take the time to watch it completely through, but watch what you can of it if you want to get an idea of what the rally was really all about. It was about getting us back to God and restoring Honorto our great nation. It was about how its time to stop focusing on the past mistakes our nation has made, learning from them and begin to focus on all the good we have done throughout our history.

BTW, if'n yur an adamant Obama supporter or liberal and are still reading this article, I'm completely blown away!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Monday mania

Well Sir, Cookie and Mrs. Cookie are gonna go to The New York State Fair t'day so I'll get this post up early. BTW, as far as I know (and I could be wrong) I think the NYS Fair is the largest state fair in the country. Ya cain't really see and enjoy everything in one day, but we'll do what we can. Besides, I think I'll enjoy someone else's cook'n fer a day.

UPDATE: Nope, it appears Texas has the largest in the nation, and when ya think about it, who would expect any differently.


A completely honest 1st date.



Our Guy.

Thier man.

We are so screwed.

Borrowed frum "SubVet".

Ahhh miss, miss, er excuse me but....


How to wash a toilet

This was simply too much of a time
saver not to share it with you.

1. Put both lids of the toilet up
And add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
And run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean..


The Dog


Cookie looks sumthin like this when pissed off in the kitchen! Sumthin real good fer America!

In continuation of the previous post, Cookie looks sumthin like this when ya interfere with the master while he's cook'n. Most good cooks tend to be very temperamental when applying their culinary skills, and I'm no different. The only difference is I do the knocking out!

This is a brief video of what REALLY took place at the Glenn Beck gathering in Washington yesterday. If you've watched any videos of good old "Reverand" Al Sharpton at his rally, you'll notice that he doesn't say anything about God, just spews divisiveness and disunity whereas Glenn, who does not have a cleric title talks about God and Honor and Country. Good on ya Glenn!!