JUST A GOOD OLD FASHIONED PATRIOTIC BLOG, with
Backwoods straite tawk, views, wizdom & recipees frum the man that duz the cookin...."Cookie". Scroll Through "SEARCH THIS BLOG", "ARCHIVES" or "PREVIOUS POSTS" fer the various RECIPEE'S....
Y'all Remember..."NEVER TRUST A SKINNY COOK".
Now THIS is Cookie's kinda "Boat"! The BEST kind of MARINE is a SUBMARINE!
Saturday, February 07, 2009
Hmmm...here be a Classic Copper Clapper Caper...
My good friends John & Buster Yowan frum out in Chanute, Kansas sent me this. It sure brought back a few great memories of the Johnny Carson Tonight Show....
Here be some basic "Verizon" math fer Y'all....and, "They Walk Amonst Us."
But First....some scarey stuff here. They actually walk amongst us.....
NEW YORK - Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'
It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut B) An Elephant C) The Moon D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer. 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. 'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.' Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure. 'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.. 'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.' Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. 'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. 'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.' Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. 'Come on Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.' To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice and pick 'The Moon.' 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright. So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans. Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. 'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let's see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.' Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution....they walk among us
....and this Einstein is so stupid...well, it speaks fer itself and NO Comment is needed...
Caution... They Walk Among Us!
------------------------ Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
***They walk amongst us!***
*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
***They walk among us!!***
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff'
***They Walk Among Us!!***
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.
***They Walk Among Us!!!!***
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! ***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'... (I work with professionals like this.)
***They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce !!! ____________________________________
...and, along the same train of thought regardin pure ignorance...
I just saw this posted on AOL and after listening to it, I had to agree with that TV ad that addresses how screwed up and complicated Verizon's billing systems are.
Now Sir, if'n any of y'all out there passed 4th or 5th grade math, you'll see just how screwed up these folks at Verizon are. Hmmm....I'll bet these two Verizon employees also wurked on our Economic Stimulus Package...
HEADS-UP! Recently, my good friends Susan and Gayle Gertson from Eagle Lake, Texas made me aware that this movie is coming to HBO soon, and it really looks very good. Unfortunately, Susan and her family experienced this very emotionally moving event in their own lives. May God Bless you Susan, Gayle, family and Clint, and thank you for the ultimate sacrifice you've made for our great country.
Thought I'd give y'all a heads up in case ya might be interested. Wish the hell I had HBO so I won't have to wait for it to come to Pay Per View....
Now, on a lighter note.....
Mother and daughter are removed and barred frum Disneyland forever. Idiots....just what yur 6 or 7 year old youngin needs to see on the family vacation.
Is it just me or do the two Mickey Mouse's on the right appear to have long, sad faces?
The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife.
Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democratic Party ... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in with the entitlement loaded Stimulus Package and provide for their care and sustenance. _____________________________________
Scottish bar stool for kilt wearers . . .
Now Sir, here be one that's been around fer awhile but I still find it amusing, especially with the photygraff that's been added.....
This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for Detroit .
Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.
"What's the matter?" Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Detroit , there's crazy people there. They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the highest crime rate in the nation."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school.
It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death. But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
Ah Yes, Winter in Upstate New York.....
Well Sir, here be some pretty good idear's. Too bad there is so much Common Sense involved here because the liberal loons like Pelosi and others would probably block just about all of these great suggestions. We'll never see a one of these enacted.
**CLICK ON PHOTO TO ENLARGE**
I think Patsy Cline would get a real laugh outta this one.....
Hey Folks, we gotta THANK "FishinMagician", my childhood buddy John Keating frum out Detroit way, Clint Griffin frum San Diego and Susan Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas fer sendin us the above funnies....
Well Sir, "Charlie The Cop" from Chicago sent me this here humorous anecdote, and man, is it ever true.....
How true. How True.
Old Timers Bar
Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Naples, Florida
They turned a corner and see a sign that says, 'Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.'
They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this Is too good to be true.
The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Come on in and let me pour one for you!
What'll it be, Gentlemen?'
There seemed to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis... Shaken, not stirred,and says, 'That'll be 10 cents each, please'
The four men stare at the bartender for a moment.
Then look at each other...
They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, 'That's 40 cents, please.' They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand.
They have each had two martinis and so far they've spent less than a dollar.
Finally one of the men says, 'How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime a piece?'
'I'm a retired tailor from Boston,' the bartender said, 'and I always wanted to own a bar.
Last year I hit the Lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime - wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same.'
Wow!!!! That's quite a story,' says one of the men.
The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice seven other people at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.
One man gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, 'What's with them?'
The bartender says, 'Oh, they're all old retired policemen from Illinois, and New York.
They're waiting for happy hour when drinks are half price.' _________________________________________
Now Sir, speakin of .10 cent drinks, how many of y'all out there remember the Saturday Afternoon Matinees at yur local neighborhood movie theater? You know, the ones where admission was .15 cents, popcorn was a dime, and most candy at the Candy Counter was either five or ten cents, along with a "Penny candy" selection where 5 or 10 pieces of candy might only cost ya .02 or .03 cents.
So, for the sake of a little nostalgic reminiscin, here be a few movie trailers from that time period, and since the big attractions fer Saturday Matinees during those years were usually Sci-Fi genre or Abbott and Costello movies, here be a few Sci-Fi trailers....
I'm just an old Vietnam era Disabled Veteran Seabee, (and an old "Diesel-Boat" Sub-Sailer ) who's just a killin time...till time kills me. After retiring from many years in Law Enforcement as a Detective Sergeant, I now spends most a m'time a cookin fer feller sportsmen(and m' Wife) & writin a cook'n column fer a Fish & Game Magazine. I Hunt & Fish and don't care much fer liberals or ACLUers. I live in a small northern NY town on Oneida Lake, and like it that way. I can be as cantankerous as a Grizzly Bear with a tooth ache, or as cuddly as a Teddy Bear...mostly the former...