Saturday, March 01, 2008

Sunday Sundries....

Well here be some times when y'all just might NOT want to hyphenate yur name....


Well be a mighty good reason why men shouldn't buy their own underwear...


Friday, February 29, 2008

Don't do it John ! ...and some Saturday Matinee memorabilia...

Well Sir...havin been in the Navy fer a few years myself, I thought I'd pass along some wisdom and get this here warnin out to John Y who's stationed down in Mayport, Fl on his new ship, The USS Doyle....

Don't pick it up John...IT'S A TRAP!!!


...Now Sir...these guys are Righteous.....


...and how many of ya remember this song...and the car as well....??




...and this famous "Short". If'n this don't get ya laffin, nuthin will..


Have a Great Saturday.... Cookie

Thursday, February 28, 2008


Well Sir...t'was a might cold was 11 degree ( -5 degree's with windchill factor) at about noon, and it got down to 0 degrees overnight. Damn, I had to put on a sweater to go out. Got some minor good old lake effect snow as be a photygraff I took of it .....


Tell it like it is Larry.....

...and...just in case y'all didn't know what Larry was talkin bout when he told about a Bob Hope movie t'is....

..Git er done...

....always liked this one....

Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers a question time.

One little boy puts up his hand. The Senator asks him what his name is.

"Kenneth," the boy replies.
"And what is your question, Kenneth?"
"I have three questions:

"First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?

"Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

"Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. Hillary Clinton informs the kids that they will continue after recess.

When they resume, Hillary says, "Okay, where were we? Oh, that's right, question time Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand up. Hillary points him out and asks him what his name is.


"And what is your question, Larry?"

"I have five questions:

"First - whatever happened to the medical health care plan you were paid to develop during your husband's eight years in the office as President?

"Second - why would you run for President after your husband shamed the office?

"Third - whatever happened to all those things you took when you left the White House?

"Fourth - why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early?

"Fifth - Where's Kenneth?"

** Wunder if this kid is Larry the Cable Guy's son?**

...and Missy Cocoa from out Chicago way (I think) remindes me of just what a Son of a Bitch is.....

...*Click To Enlarge**

Mike was going to be married to Karen, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat......He says, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother and said, ‘Here - try these on’. She did and said, ‘These are too big, I can't wear them.’ I replied, ‘Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will’. Ever since that night we have never had any problems."

"Hmmm," says Mike. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. On his honeymoon, Mike takes off his pants and says to Karen, "Here try these on." She does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me."

Mike says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. And I don't want you to ever forget that."

Then Karen takes off her panties and hands them to Mike and says, "Here you try on mine."

He does and says, "I can't get into your panties."

Karen says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will."

...and... "When a man loves a woman"...Percy Sledge


Hat Tip to "Charlie the Cop" and Sue Gertson fer a couple of these....

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Cookie's Thursday PotPourri....

WOW! Giant Sea Monster fossil found... It was big enuff to swallow a car...

Fossil of Giant 'Sea Monster' Found
By Alister Doyle,Reuters

Posted: 2008-02-27 17:12:52
Filed Under: Science News

OSLO (Feb. 27) - The fossil of a 50 ft. long "sea monster" found in Arctic Norway was the biggest of its kind known to science with dagger-like teeth in a mouth large enough to bite a small car, researchers said on Wednesday.

Norwegian scientists said Wednesday they found a 50 ft. fossil of a pliosaur. The creature, seen here in an artist's rendering, had a mouth filled with dagger-like teeth the size of cucumbers and could have swallowed a small car. The fearsome predator terrorized the seas in the Jurassic era.

The 150-million year old dinosaur-era pliosaur, a fierce marine reptile, was about16 ft. 5 in. longer than the previous pliosaur record holder found in Australia.

"It's a new species and the biggest proven pliosaur," Joern Hurum, a paleontologist at the Natural History Museum in Oslo who led the expedition to dig up the fossil on the archipelago of Svalbard 800 miles from the North Pole.

"A small car could fit inside its mouth," he told Reuters, adding the lower jaw was about 10 ft long.

"Something like a Morris Minor would fit perfectly."

The Museum said that pliosaurs were the top marine predators of the Jurassic era, preying upon squid-like animals, fish, and other marine reptiles.

Another type of fossil marine reptile, the ichthyosaur, was bigger at up to 75 ft. "The pliosaur is not the biggest sea monster but it's probably the most fierce," Hurum said, adding the fossil has jagged teeth the size of cucumbers.

"The front flipper of our pliosaur alone is three meters long. We've laid it out downstairs in the basement," he said.

Earlier estimates had been that the Norwegian pliosaur, popularly dubbed "The Monster," was about 40 ft. long, roughly as long as Australia's kronosaurus.

The Arctic find "demonstrates that these gigantic animals inhabited the northern seas of our planet during the age of dinosaurs," said Patrick Druckenmiller of the University of Alaska Museum who was on the expedition that found the fossil.

The Norwegian museum said that it was planning to return in mid-2008 to excavate a skull and skeleton of another gigantic pliosaur recently found near "The Monster."

Well be what it really looked like....


Well Sir...Most of those asshole actors and singers out in Hollywood won't wear an American Flag on thier lapels in support of this great country, nor a Yellow Ribbon in support of their fine Military men & women...BUT...they are wearin an Orange Ribbon in support of all the baby killers in Guantanamo...

Now's how I feel about those rotten well as the murderin baby killers in Gitmo....

...and...I just gotta say it... this is how I view all those folks who are, and will, vote for Obama. Like I said before, they are completely unaware of the serious issues facing this nation and are in for their young attractive "Prom King"...


SEAN the Irish Farmer

A farmer named Sean had a car accident. In court, the lorry company's
Hot-shot solicitor was questioning Sean.

'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'
Asked the solicitor.

Sean responded: 'Well Sar, I'll be tellin you what happened. I had just loaded
Me favourite cow, Bessie, into the...'

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just Answer
The question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Sean said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into me trailer and I was
Driving down the road....

'The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to
Establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the
Police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident,
He is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to
Simply answer the question.'

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seans's answer and
Said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.

Sean thanked the Judge and proceeded.

'Well as I was sayin, I had just loaded Bessie, me favourite cow, into
me trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and
Trailer came through a stop sign and hit me trailer right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into t'other. I was
Hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear old Bessie moanin and a groanin. I knew she was
In terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He
could hear Bessie moanin and groanin so he went over to her. After he
looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her
right between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at
Me, and said, 'How are ye feeling?'

'Now what the Fook would you say?'

A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a
nickel. After a few minutes in the store, the boy starts choking, going blue
in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickel and starts
panicking, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious-looking woman in a blue business suit
is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down,
neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her
seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then
ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs
up the nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing
the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father and walks back
to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father
rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen
anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'

'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney.'

Now Sir....if'n ya ever had a question about Rednecks...Ray Stephens will explain everthin to ya.....



An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her
grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301 .

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I willa buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is ona the right. Get in, and witha you elbow, pusha 3.

Whena you get out, I'mma on the left. Witha you elbow, hita my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting
all these buttons with my elbow?

"What . . . . .. .. You a coming empty handed?"


If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." -Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. -Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into Prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying To lift himself up by the handle. -Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul Can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw ...** A Favorite of Cookie's**

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, Which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. -G Gordon Liddy ...** Cookie's Favorite**

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and A sheep voting on what to have for dinner. -James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor People in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. -Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving Whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. -P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody Endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. -Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Government's view of the economy could be summed Up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. -Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don't make jokes - I just watch the government and report the facts. -Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait Until you see what it costs when it's free! -P.J. O'Rourke ...** Cookie's 2nd Favorite**

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money As possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. -Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics Doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! -Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. -Mark Twain (1866 )

Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it. -Unknown

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. -Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist Is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. -Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects Of folly is to fill the world with fools. -Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. -Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, Is strong enough to take everything you have. -Thomas Jefferson

"To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last....but eat you he will."

Ronald Reagan


Above Quotes Submitted to Cookie by "prh....A DAY IN THE LIFE"

A Cookshack HAT-TIP to: "Charlie the Cop" frum Chicago and Susan Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas fer sendin these along....

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Wednesday Wanks....

Hey Muslim Extremists.... The U.S. Marine Corps are lookin fer a few bad men...and they will hook ya up right real quick.....

Hat Tip: Bob's Blog....

Well Sir...the Chief frum over at Smoldering Embers in a Mohawk Campfire sent this great example of The Greater Pakistani/Afhanistani Automobile Club....

UPDATE: This Club's name has recently been changed to the AAA Club...Allah Ackbar Automobile Club...

Thanks fer sharin that with us Chief....

...and...Today's Nostalgic Tune's are.....


...Hmmm...I think I her once....


...and here be a good "feel good" story....True. Thank Ya Missy Susan fer sendin this along to The Cookshack...

Dog Saved by Marine Gets Home in US

SAN DIEGO (Feb. 22)
AP Iraq news

It began with a simple act of kindness to save an abused, injured dog from becoming one more victim in the Iraq war.

But what followed for Marine Maj. Brian Dennis and the mutt was a tale of friendship and loyalty that spanned miles and overcame long odds - one set to take a turn Friday with the anticipated arrival here of the Marine's best friend.

"This dog who had been through a lifetime of fighting, war, abuse ... is going to live the good life," Dennis told his family in an e-mail from Iraq.
The tale unfolded in October, a few months after Dennis deployed to Iraq from San Diego to work as part of the military team building infrastructure along the Syria-Iraq border and training Iraqi forces to take over.

Dennis, 36, of St. Pete Beach, Fla., had volunteered for the assignment. It was a departure from his role as a fighter pilot. He had seen the country from the air, but it was different on the ground.

Dennis wrote stories home about the reciprocal relationship that desert dogs, strays wandering outside border towns, had with Iraqis.

"The dogs get to eat the Iraqi scraps and have a home in the middle of the desert," he wrote in an e-mail. "The Iraqis get an incredible early warning system; these dogs hear anything approaching from miles away and go nuts and scramble to defend their territory."
While on patrol in the Anbar province, Dennis spotted what appeared to be a gray and white, male German shepherd-border collie mix. He named the dog Nubs after learning someone cut the ears off believing it would make the dog more aggressive and alert.

Within weeks, Nubs was greeting Dennis during routine patrol stops along border communities. The Marines fed him bits of their food and by November, the Marine and his unit were keeping an eye out for the dog, which routinely chased their Humvees when they departed.

Life on the run, however, was taking a toll on the dog. He had lost a tooth and been bitten in the neck. In late December, Dennis found Nubs near death in freezing temperatures. The dog had been stabbed with a screwdriver.

Dennis rubbed antibiotic cream on the wound and slept with Nubs to keep him warm.

"I really expected when I woke up for watch he would be dead," Dennis wrote. "Somehow he made it through the night."
Dennis thought he had seen the last of the dog days later when his squad headed back to its command post some 65 miles away. He couldn't take the dog with him and watched as it tried to follow the Humvees away from the border.

Two days later, while Dennis and a comrade were working on a Humvee, he looked up and saw the dog staring at him.

"Somehow that crazy damned dog tracked us," he wrote Jan. 9.
But the reunion was short lived. Military policy prohibits having pets in war zones, and Dennis was given four days to get the dog off the base or kill him.

The decision was easy: Nubs was going to San Diego. The logistics, though, were anything but easy.

With help from his Iraqi interpreter, Dennis managed to find a Jordanian veterinarian to get the care and paperwork needed to get the dog to the states. He also negotiated the red tape to get Nubs across the border into Jordan.

His family and close friends helped raise the $3,500 needed to get the dog from Amman, Jordan, to San Diego, said his mother, Marsha Cargo.

"I just can't believe it. Out there in the middle of nowhere these two find each other," Cargo said.
A colleague in San Diego agreed to care for the dog and have it trained until Dennis returns in March from Iraq.

"We anticipate a real steep learning curve for Nubs," Capt. Eric Sjoberg said. "We want him to learn to just be a dog."
For now, though, Dennis will settle for the knowledge that Nubs is finally safe - and waiting for his master to follow him.

Good on ya Mate.....

Monday, February 25, 2008

Tuesday Tunes....

Well Sir...the other day, one of my Submarine blogger buddies, Bothenook, who was bustin my balls in his post...stated that "Cookie likes to play some music that he the actually thinks is contemporary". Then he went on to make another wisecrack about 45's & 78's... which I imagine some a y'all out there readin this don't even know what the hell they are...

...and...I gotta special dedication to an old Jarhead at the end of this post...don't miss it...this song is very special to him...

BUT...I also get E-mails frum folks who tell me that they like to hear some of "The Music of their Lives" that I ocassionally put'll begin today with some Lou Christie......

...and...always loved this one...."One Fine Day" by The Chiffons.....'s a montage of tunes & pix that many of ya will enjoy. This was back in a time when ya could tell one kind of car frum anuther, "poodle-skirts", Stilletto Heels", "Hard-Top Convertables", and some old TV shows.....

...and who amung ya can ferget this great OBG....this one's fer you Chief.... Now Sir...I wasn't there that night... but I hear tell that this song has special meanin fer ya....


SHAME, SHAME, SHAME on us......

ATTENTION: All old Military personnel, present Military, and Patriotic Americans...Y'all really need to watch this video News's guaranteed to both sadden ya and piss ya off....

Well buddy "Charlie the Cop" frum out Chicago way, just sent me this below link. I used the same words he used in the heading of this post as they are so appropriate...

This story brought a 2 Star General to it did Cookie and Charlie...

Go here to watch a news report that is sure to get your blood boiling.....and bring a tear to yur eye as well......

Just a "Mish-Mash" some things t'do today...

..I don't know why they spent all that money on rockets to get to the moon...they coulda just taken the train...
...Hey Sport...if'n ya cross this here line yur in a whole heap a shit...