Sunday....

Well Sir....fer the past week (and earlier) this old Cookie has been gettin up almost every mornin between 5 and 6 am to open the Military Courtesy Room at the Syracuse International Airport...and ya know what....I'M BEAT!, and my pardner, Loren Davies has done even more, having spent over 17 days straight at the room.

Sooo...this Cookie is gonna take a day off to spend some time with friends and family, beginnin with a nice brunch at stylish restaurant with some great friends. This will be followed by a long day of relaxation, and the day will end with me BBQ'n up two thick and tender Filet Mignons on the grill, that were given to me by my daughter Shellie. Thanks Hon!

As you've probably realized by this time...this will be the extent of today's blog. Y'all have a great Sunday and we'll be see'n Y'all tomorrow.....


_______________________________

Saturday Sundries.....

Well Sir...my good friend Davey Brown sends us this here question.

NAME THIS TUNE!



OK....are Y'all ready...???










MOON RIVER!
________________________________

Well Sir...we'll continue with new Billboards recently observed around the country....













______________________________________

OK Ladies....here's one I'm sure Y'all will enjoy...

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how
is everything going?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets
are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I
have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other
two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on
branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain,' reported
Eve.

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came
in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc...she felt that having only
two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed
only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right
away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the
bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.


'Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the
animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All
the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How
could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately
create a man from a part of you. Let's see...where did I put the useless
boob?'

Now doesn't THAT make more sense than that crap about the rib?
___________________________________

RECORD HIGH JUMP FROM A KNEELING POSITION

A new world's record in the high jump from a kneeling position was set last week at a beach in southern France.

This picture was taken just two seconds before the jump took place.

....PARTIAL NUDITY AHEAD!



____________________________________

Comments Made in the Year 1955!
That's only 53 years ago!

'I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00.'

'Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one.'

'If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous.

'Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?'

'If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.'

'When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.'

'Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls.'

'I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it.'

'I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas.'

'Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.'

'I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now.'

'It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.'

'It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.'

'Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat.'

'I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.'

'Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress.'

'The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.'

'There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel.'

'No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood.'

'If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it.'
____________________________________

Two Women Meeting In Heaven

1st woman: Hi! My name is Jane.

2nd woman: Hi! I'm Kelly. How'd you die?

1st woman: I Froze to Death.

2nd woman: How Horrible!

1st woman: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. "What about you?"

2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, found him all by himself in the den watching TV.

1st woman: So, what happened?

2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then, I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted,
that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.

1st woman: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer, then we'd both still be alive!
_________________________________

And finally....After watchin this here next video, which was taken by a National Geographic Documentary team in the Arctic....I might just start t'believe in "Man Made Global Warmin....."

Here's the first believable evidence....


________________________________

Friday Follies....

Well now....first off, I'm gonna say a big ol Cookshack THANK YOU to "Chicago Charlie", Clint Griffin from the west coast, "Fish" frum down Kentucky way, and Susan Gertson frum Eagle Lake, Texas fer sendin in most of todays entertainment. Now Sir, I imagine that Missy Susan can surely relate to out first article....

YOU MIGHT BE A TEXAN IF:

1. You can properly pronounce Boerne, Nacogdoches, Waco, Amarillo, Waxahachie, Mexia, Sachse, Scyene and Bexar.

2. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel cloud.

3. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on Christmas Day.

4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

5 Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

6. You measure distance in minutes.

7. Someone you know has used the Dallas Cowboys Football schedule or a hunting schedule to plan their wedding date.

8. You have known someone who has had a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

9. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

10. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

11. You actually understand this email, and you are "fixin' to" send it to your friends.

12. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply.

13. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, bait, and pregnancy tests all in the same store.

14. You know everything goes better with Ranch dressing.

15. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol; a Chevy Silverado 4x4 is.

16..Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever been a part of this conversation:

"You wanna coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?"

"Dr. Pepper!".
________________________________

Well folks....my good amigo, Clint Griffin from out San Diego way sent me this here GREAT music video (about 7 minutes long), and I loved it so much, I immediately sent it to my close Marine Corps buddies, and now I'm postin it fer Y'all to watch and listen to. I'm sure that if yur a patriotic person, you'll enjoy it also, and it just might bring a tear to yur eye......

"The Bumper on my SUV."



_______________________________

GI Insurance Salesman

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction centre, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.

It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.

Rather than asking him about this, the Captain stood at the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.

Jones explained the basics of GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said, "If you are killed in a battle and have a GI Insurance, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. But, if you don't have a GI insurance and get killed in the battle, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000."

"Now," he concluded, "which group do YOU think they are going to send into battle first?"
____________________________________

...ADULT CONTENT!!!


Never, Never, Never,

EVER ..

And I repeat

EVER

Tell A Woman

She Can't Cook !!!



Now Sir...this is a real "JOHNSONville Brat"....


___________________________________

Well Sir...having recently lost the Swimming competition to the Americans, who they announced they were going "to smash", the Fwench have started practicing thier Ice Skating routine's extensively, gettin ready fer the Winter Olympics.....


___________________________________

It's Toisday (as me good Irish wife frum Brooklyn would say).....

The great philosopher speaks...


Whether or not you are a country music fan, this is truly

the work of a deep thinker, and highly intelligent person.

So simple, yet so profound. Words of wisdom from that

famous philosopher Willie Nelson, on his 75th birthday:


'I have outlived my dick.'
__________________________________

The Antique's Road Show in the UK.....

...ADULT CONTENT!




__________________________________________

....and my new found friend "Nedgar" sends us this here ditty....

He Said....She Said....

He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

I said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
He said. . . A widow.

He said to me . . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
______________________________________

....and here's an Oldie but Goodie....

Subject: Gunny

The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Gunny who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Gunny insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Gunny to 'drop 'em', which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Gunny's weenie and began to work back. 'Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'

The old Gunny calmly replied, ' Vietnam '
_______________________________________

....and Clint Griffin frum San Diego shows us what can happen when you sleep around...


______________________________________

Some great News bloopers.....


____________________________________

"Charlie the Cop" informs us as to What's in a Name???

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said,

'You are obsessed with eating.

You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann:

'Your obsession is with money.

Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol.

This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered,

'Come on, Dick, we have to leave. Your brothers Peter, Willy and Johnson are waiting for us.

___________________________________

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,

"Are all of those kids yours?"

"No", he replied, "I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."
__________________________________

....and...In case Y'all missed this yesterday.....


_________________________________

Wednesday Wevelations....

Busy day ahead of me so todays post will be short...just 2 short video's, but very interest'n video's.....Sumthin fer Y'all t'think about!

Now Sir...Whether your Democrat or Republican, if'n this first video doesn't seem like good old American "Common Sense" (which ain't so common anymore)to you, then your on the wrong blog and probably beyond any help at all....



Well Sir....this next video is shorter, but the point is well taken.....This is the REAL Obama and where he stands....



http://www.phforamerica.com/
_______________________________________

Tuesday Tidbits...."Civil War Camp Pork & Beans"

Just a brief update afore we get t'the jokes. I'm back putting in my time everyday at the Military Courtesy Room and enjoying every minute of it. There is great personal satisfaction when you've managed to assist, or lighten the load of one of our fine military men or woman. Their hand shakes and smiles of gratitude say it all......

May God Bless All our fine Troops....
______________________________________

...and Missy Susan frum Eagle Lake, Texas sent this along for all those young husbands (or stupid ones who haven't learned yet) out there who might not be familiar with these major "No-No's". "These are the things you don't say to your wife...."


__________________________________

AUSTRALIAN COURT
DOCKET 12659

-CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling
at her.

She immediately moved to another seat. This
time the smile turned into a grin, so she
moved again. The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out
laughing, she complained to the driver and
he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)
what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, Well your Honour, it was
like this:

* When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't
help but notice her condition. She sat under
a sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint
Twins are Coming' and I grinned.

* Then she moved and sat under a sign that
said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the
swelling', and I had to smile.

* Then she placed herself under a deodorant
sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the
Trick', and I could hardly contain myself.

* BUT, your Honour, when she moved the fourth
time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear
Rubber could have prevented this Accident'

...I just lost it.

'CASE DISMISSED!!'
____________________________________

Remember those French that said they were going to "smash the hell out of the American Team" at The Olympics...Well Sir...here be some French Olympians in training.....who By The Way...LOST THE GOLD. Arrogant frogs......haven't learned yet that "Pride goeth before a fall."


_______________________________________

Ya just gotta love Southerners.....

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying
an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some
mathematical help. He called her into his office and said,
You graduated from the University of Tennessee and
I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%,
how much would you take off.

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied
"Every thing but my earrings'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alabama

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired
off into twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone,
staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
'Where's Henry?' the others asked.

'Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles
back up the trail,' the successful hunter replied.'

You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?'
they inquired.

'A tough call nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one
is going to steal Henry!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage
out of his pick--up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are
dumping garbage into the ditch? Don't you see that sign
over your head".

'Yep' he replied. "that's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause
it says "Fine For Dumping Garbage'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

South Carolina

You can say what you want about the South, but I ain't never
heard of anyone wanting to retire to the North.
_______________________________________

Well Sir, I was just talkin with my good amiga, Susan Gertson frum the great State of Texas and was tellin her about The Civil War Camp Pork & Beans I make fer big gatherins here at the hacienda. She asked me for the recipe, which I gladly sent her, but it occurred to me that some of Y'all out there might also want to try some Pork & Beans that has more Pork in it than beans.

This recipe is based on a method and amounts of real Civil War Pork & Beans when this was the evening meal and had to fill the men up and give them a meal that was nutritional, as well as great tasting. Obviously, these ingredients are more modern, but the method and amounts are equivalent.

BTW, everyone that has ever had this has absolutely loved it, and I've never had even one mouthful left when the day is over....

Civil War Camp Pork & Beans

Ingredients (adjust according to amount of meat):

• 2-5# cans Van deCamps (or whatever brand of beans y'all like) baked beans.
• 5-10 pounds boneless country style pork ribs (enough to fill up a 9X13 baking pan)
• 3 small cans tomato sauce (or substitute catsup or BBQ sauce)
• 1/2 cup vinegar or to taste
• 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar
• 2 clove garlic freshly pressed
• 2 finely chopped onion
• Black pepper to taste
• Pinch red pepper
* I also added 2 cups of Maple Syrup to the Pork & Beans later in the recipe.

Trim the fat off the meat. Combine the tomato sauce, vinegar, brown sugar, garlic, onion, black & red pepper. Mix the meat in the sauce until it is well coated. Let it marinate in this sauce over night. Place the meat into a baking pan and bake in oven at 300° for approximately 3 hours or until the meat flakes apart. When done take meat out of pan and let cool. Pull (do not cut ) the meat apart into small chunks.

Pour one can a the Pork & Beans inta a very large aluminum bakin pan (or use 2 pans if'n ya needs to), pour 1 cup of the Maple Syrup into the Pork & Beans and mix in. Now Sir...put the pulled pork meat and any left over marinade onto this layer of beans.

Now...pour the other can a Pork & Beans, and the other cup of Maple Syrup over this, mix in, and put it back inta the oven and bake fer 1 hour at 350 degrees.

Top with chopped onion and chopped crispy bacon. Serve with hot rolls or biscuits. Mmmmm Mmm.....
____________________________________

Yupper, now here's a pretty good incentive to drink milk....


______________________________________

OBAMA FAN

A teacher in Elmira , New York asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher,
all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not an Obama fan.'

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you an Obama fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Republican.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican.'

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,

'If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ' That would make me an Obama fan.'

Monday Magic & Mania...

OK...Y'all tell me how the hell he does this...!!!


_____________________________________

Now Sir, although "Charlie The Cop" frum Chi-Town sent us most of todays chuckles, I think it should be obvious that the first set of jokes are fer the women-folk out there and were sent to us frum a woman... Thanks "Nedgar"...

The Why's of Men?

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(Because they are plugged into a genius)

2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(They don't have enough time)

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(They don't stop to ask directions)


4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)


5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)


6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(You need a rough draft before you make a final copy)


7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(Don't know.....it never happened)


(C'mon guys, we laugh at your Blonde jokes!)


And the personal favorite:


8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)


Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One for the ladies

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,

'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '

And they say blondes are dumb...
----------------------------------

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'

---------------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
----------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor

----------------------------------

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
--------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
---------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

--------------------------------
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
____________________________________________

Subject: Never ASSUME

NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.

Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them
was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight
response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They
tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him,
'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.

The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room.

'What happened!?' they cried.

The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'

NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND.
_____________________________________________

Supposedly a True Story from Houston Medical Center

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
Hoohoo.

According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the
Wedding Ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum
Jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo.
3) Or finding out your hoohoo fits through your wedding ring.
________________________________________

Some Rodney Dangerfield one liners....

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?'
He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
__________________________________

THE THREE NUNS....



THREE NUNS WERE ATTENDING A CUBS BASEBALL GAME.

THREE MEN WERE SITTING DIRECTLY BEHIND. BECAUSE THEIR HABITS WERE PARTIALLY BLOCKING THE VIEW, THE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS HOPING THAT THEY'D GET ANNOYED ENOUGH TO MOVE TO ANOTHER AREA.

IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, "I THINK I'M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH. THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE."

THEN THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA.. THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE."

THE THIRD GUY SAID, "I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO. THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE."

THE MOTHER SUPERIOR TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET AND CALM VOICE SAID,

"WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL. THERE AREN'T ANY NUNS THERE!"


________________________________