Saturday, November 29, 2008

A Cookshack "Heads-Up" regardin a toy doll....and "Sig's" lucky huntin hat...

Well Sir, just yesterday, several folks sent the Cookie a few differant video's regardin this here "Fisher-Price" doll. I guess this particular doll has been around fer some time, but I had not heard about the controversy until today. I watched almost all of the video's on YouTube, and have to agree, the doll is in fact saying "Islam is the Light."

Here be a couple of those video's....what do you think?






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Our good friend "The Chief" sent me this next article, which I promptly went to and followed the directions. I recall that while in the Seabee's, and bein away from home during the Christmas Season, just getting a Christmas Card really brightened my day, and I'm sure all you other Vet's out there who might have been away fer the holidays can attest to this.....

----- Something cool that Xerox is doing

If you go to this web site, http://www.LetsSayThanks.com/

you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some m ember of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these? Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them...
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Now Sir, recently, my buddy "Sig" frum over at Signal 94 posted how he went out huntin on Thanksgiving morning with some of his relatives. As it turned out, they didn't get any deer, BUT, what he didn't tell y'all was that his wife really wanted to go along but "Sig" was relunctant to take her...at least at first.

After givin it some further consideration, he finally agreed to take her along BUT, told her that as a first time hunter, she had to wear the traditional "Lucky Hat" that all first time hunters had to wear....

Here's a photygraff that "Sig" took at the crack of dawn on that Thanksgivin mornin...


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I guess "Sig" got this hat frum his old buddy "Charlie the Cop" frum Chi-Town...
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Friday, November 28, 2008

How to stay out of the Doghouse with your wife....

Well Men, my good buddy "Chicago Charlie" sends us this very valuable video on how to stay out of the Doghouse with your wife. I guess, Charlie, bein as old as he is, probably learned this lesson many years back.....


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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Some Friday Frolics....

Well Sir....gotta get an early start t'day and get on over to the Toyota dealership to have the winter snow tires put on the old "calabaloose" and get it inspected as well. I hope everyone had a happy and enjoyable T-Day yesterday.

BTW...fer all you youngins out there, "Calabaloose" is an old 40's and 50's term fer a hot-rod car.

So...without further adieu....


She must have been a blond.

Subject: Merlot

A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, 'This is from the gentleman who is seated over there,' and indicated the sender with a nod of his head. She stared at the wine coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, and then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was lingering nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read:

'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants.'


After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady. It read:

'Just to let you know things aren't always what they appear to be: I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Aspen, Miami, and a 10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana. There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you are, would I cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back.

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WHY BRITISH WEAR RED COATS

A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.

During one battle, the French captured an English Colonel.

They took him to their headquarters, and the French General began to question him.

Finally, as an after thought, the French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats?
Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for my men to shoot at?

In his bland English way, the officer informed the General that the reason English Officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day to this, all French Army Officers wear brown pants!
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Yupper...Y gotta love science....


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OK Mates...now this here music is old, hoaky, corny and most definately old fashioned country, BUT...it's somehow entertainin as well....


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NSFW

OK Mates...fer all you hard wurkin men out there who wurk in grease & oil all day long...I got just the product fer Y'all..... "Scrotum Scrub"

Photobucket ADULT CONTENT!!!



Now Sir...I got a feelin that the person frum Eagle Lake, Texas who sent me this here advertisement would wanna remain anonymous...so I won't mention her name....
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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

...and a very Happy and safe Thanksgiving Day to ALL my readers...

UPDATE:






Well Mates. I was gonna post some sort of my usual smart-ass Thanksgivin cartoon or statement, BUT, decided that instead, I would be serious fer a brief spell....

A Very Happy and safe Thanksgiving to ALL my readers and may God Bless you ALL!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Christmas Poem & how to help wounded troops and their families this Christmas.

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Well Sir, Missy Pam, one of my good Christian readers sent this along to the Cookie, so I'm definitely gonna post it because of the inherent truths contained therein.

This poem, although a couple of years old, isn't quite exactly true anymore as some of the stores mentioned in the poem have experienced such a financial backlash because of their misguided policies, they have returned to the traditional Christmas decorations, signage and Christmas greetings. Unfortunately, some have continued this "Secular-Progressive" policy, and like last year, will NOT see one penny of this families business.

Thank You Pam and may God Bless you and yours....

Twas the month before Christmas.

*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*

*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.*

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken &Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*

*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*


*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS,

*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday !*


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Well Sir, I saw this over at "The Jawa Report" and felt it appropriate to re-post it here at the Cookshack.....




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Now Sir, this next fictitious anecdote was sent to me by my buddy "The Chief", and it illustrates the ingrained bias that the MSM have against Sarah Palin...

Sarah Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing north of Rome
in Venice .

The liberal press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience hoping they will
be able to allot minimal coverage if any.

The Pope asks Governor Palin to join him on a Gondola ride through the canals
of Venice .

They're admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when all of a sudden
the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water.

The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff's cap with his pole but this move
threatens to overturn the floating craft.

Sarah waves the tour guide off saying' Wait wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry.'

She steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope's
hat bends over and picks it up. She walks back across the water to the gondola
and steps aboard. She hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning the topic of conversation among Democrats in Congress
CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, CNN, the New York Times, Hollywood
celebrities and in France and Germany is: ' PALIN CAN'T SWIM!..

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OK Mates, here be a Public Service Announcement from my buddy "Fish" frum Kentucky regardin how ill fittin underwear can be deadly.....




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How to help disabled troops and their families through the holidays!

I'm often asked to whom I donate to during the holiday season to help either the troops or their families. Here is a link to a great group of folks that will send a personalized Christmas Card, AND a donation if'n you'd like, to a Disabled war vet and their families. This is a legitimate charity and the donations are tax deductable.



To Help the families of disabled troops, go HERE!

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Tuesday Turkey Tidbits & Tips...and Boy Scout Breast Exam.

Now Sir...here be a real valuable lesson fer all you would be, novice Turkey "Deep Fryer" out there.....

Basically...use yur head!

1) Make sure the Turkey is completely THAWED! DO NOT use a "self-basting" Turkey such as a Butterball.

Use a regular Turkey, NOT OVER 14 Lb's.

2) Remove any "Pop-Up" plastic timers (you'd be suprized to know how many idiots don't), and NO, the Cookie never did ferget!

3) DO NOT let your cooking oil get over 350 degree's. At 475, it can burst into flames!

4) IMMERSE SLOWLY into hot oil. Wear shoes!

5) Keep kids and pets away from the unit. True story, a person who resides about a block away from Cookie had his poor dog run into the container of hot cooking oil and get severely burned when it spilled all over the dog. Poor animal had to be "put down.

6) Cook for 3 1/2 Minutes per pound and Turkey will be perfectly done.




NEVER USE WATER TO EXTINGUISH A GREASE/OIL FIRE!!!

Aside frum the fact that this idiot got away with doing so...the results could have literally been disasterous. USE BAKING SODA as the smart woman suggested!



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A "Brother" ask's the same question many of us have asked but been denied an answer....



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Ya Gotta CLICK TO ENLARGE this one....


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DAMMMNNN! Why the hell didn't I think a this when I was an Eagle Scout???



I'll bet their next project will be about the early detection of HPV.
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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Monday Mania...

Well Sir...we'll begin with some interestin signs frum around the country that Susan Gertson done sent us.....















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...and...The Legal Question fer the Day is:





Is this "Statutory Rape"???

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The following is a funny and true story shared by KC Williams
who teaches AP Government at Santa Fe High School.


In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States.

They are pretty simple:

1) The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years of age.


One blonde girl in the class immediately started complaining about how unfair the requirement to be a natural born citizen was, in her opinion, that this requirement
prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.


KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating,

"What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one
born by c-section?"

...and frum the interviews I've been reading and watching on several MSM (and other)TV outlets about folks who voted fer Obama...this is the kind of uninformed mind that voted fer him....
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Back in 1929 Financial Crash it was said that some Wall Street Stockbrokers and Bankers JUMPED from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted with the news of their firms and clients financial ruin . . .

...many people were said to almost feel a little sorry for them .

In 2008 however the attitude has changed somewhat:


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2008's First Christmas Joke

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The man replied, "Ahhh....These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season
Begins.....

Gotta Thank a couple a folks fer sendin that one along, Susan Gertson, John Keating and "Liz" from out Missouri way...

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...and "FishinMagician" shows us...

How t'lose yur job as a TV Interviewer.....


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Just some interestin FYI, and "Crazy Cats"...




Well Sir, my old Seabee budy "FishinMagician" sent me this, and I gotta say, upon recallin when I was just a wee youngin, my Grandmother (God Bless Her Soul) would give me some of these remedies when I was ailin...and I seem to believe they wurked ...

My wife, suffers badly from Arthritis, so, since just about everything else she has tried has failed...What The Hell, she's gonna give this a try. On some level, I've always felt that many of the old fashioned Homeopathic remedies are better fer a body than all the new stuff with hundreds of negative side effects. Even my personal Doctor (who is a modern medicine type person) recommends plenty of cinnamon in my diet to help address my Diabetes along with my insulin...

BTW..."Chief", frum what yur wife tells me, Y'all aughta read the parts about "Gas" and "Bad Breath"...


Cinnamon & Honey

Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around.

Facts on honey and cinnamon:

It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a "Ram Ban" (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases.

Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a ma gazine in Canada, in its issue dated 17 January, 1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:

HEART DISEASES:

Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.

ARTHRITIS:

Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:

Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.


TOOTHACHE:

Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a day until the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL:

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient, was found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol.

COLDS:

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey wit h 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure mos t chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH:

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.

GAS:

According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

IMMUNE SYSTEM:

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.


INDIGESTION:

Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

INFLUENZA:

A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural
Ingredient which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.

LONGEVITY:

Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.

PIMPLES:

Three tablespoon s of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.

SKIN INFECTIONS:

Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.

WEIGHT LOSS:

Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one
cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

CANCER:

Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.

FATIGUE:

Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body.
Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 P.M. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

BAD BREATH:

People of South America, first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

HEARING LOSS:

Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restore hearing.


Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!
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...and some "Crazy Cats" fer all you cat lovers out there...



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Now Sir....another great thing that "FishinMagician" sent me was a link to just about ANY song ever written...

Give it a try... www.theradio.com/