Saturday, January 10, 2009

Sunday Silly's...

UPDATED BLOG ENTRY: Just thought that FYI, I'd share this piece of TV trivia with Y'all. This is the ORIGINAL pilot for Gilligans Island that never aired. Today, we can all hum or sing the Gilligan's Island Theme song from memory, HOWEVER, this is a theme song that y'all probably never ever heard....



A guy walks into a bar, sits down,

and asks, "Bartender, got any specials today?"

Bartender answers, "Yes, as a matter of Fact we do have a new drink, invented by
a gynecologist patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks, "Good grief, what the hell do you call that?"

The bartender replied,

"It's a 'Pabst-Smir!"

Hey....You gave him the keys you idiot....


...and speakin of's a Great "Mustang Commercial", courtesy of my old Brothers in Blue...


...actually, back in the day, I can relate to a few situations similar to this next video...


Well Sir, I saw this on AOL and bein a cook, this here little kitchen gadget is a MUST for all kitchens, that is if'n ya don't get nauseous very easily.

I must admit, at first I wasn't sure what it was, and when I did find out its purpose, I had to laugh and then conjure up any number of scenario's in my head where I could use this to gross out some dinner guests...

In case yur wonderin just what this here thingy is with what appears to be snot running out its's an Egg Separator


Friday, January 09, 2009


I've been in a few High Speed chases during my career, but never, ever had one end in such a shitty way as this one did....


....and lastly...Christmas in Georgia....


Now Sir, here's a great example of what happens to a woman that just went back to work after 30 years. If'n yur younger than 40, ya probably won't understand this here 5 second video...


Well Sir, fer those Country & Western fans out there, here be the TOP TEN list that just came out.....

Top Ten Country & Western Songs.

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman But I've Woke Up With a Few

8. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

7. I've Missed You, But My Aim's Improvin'

6. Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Scared She'd Win

5. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here

4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him

3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger

2. She Gets Better Lookin' with Every Beer

And the Number One Country & Western song is...

1. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day


The Priest's Retirement Dinner.

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled.

But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'...

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late !


I read this here novel idear about two weeks ago and decided to try it.....

Toilet Cleaning Instructions:

1) Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2) Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3) In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4) The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet — the cat is actually enjoying this.

5) Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a ‘power-wash and rinse.’

6) Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7) Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.

8) The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9) Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

The Dog

**BTW** I ain't seen the cat since....





Well Sir...frum what I've been hearin, The Marines have been waitin with bated breath fer the newest "Krispy Creme" lingerie calender to finally come out...

Here it is mates....

Hmmm....can you find the "common thread" that binds these folks together?


Now's how to save a $50.00 Tow bill by havin yur friend pull ya out of the snowbank....

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Thursday Thuds....

Some "Thursday Thuds" UPDATES!!!

Now Sir...this'll ruin yur day...and yur dinner...and yur lunch...and yur.....

...and if'n yur Printer is givin Y'all a problem...this kitty cat'll fix it fer ya...



OK Mates, What's yur definition of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight?

Is it to drive a formula 1 car?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?

Is it to practice free falling parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping, wild water rafting?

Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?

Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?

Is it to insult your boss?

Is it to go on a defective Ferris wheel?

Bullshit…that is nothing… THIS IS REAL COURAGE:


Now good buddy "Charlie The Cop" frum out Chicago way decided to bust the Cookie's balls with this next video. He alluded to the fact that now, Navy Seabees could go about their work without have'n to worry about cuttin their fingers off.

Fer those of Y'all not in the know, Seabee are actually "CB's", standing for Construction Battalion's, meaning they build things in combat (Combat Engineers), and on occasion use table saws. If memory serves me right, Charlie was an old "Tin Can" Sailor and Tin Cans (Destroyers) were generally considered to be "cannon fodder" for the enemy Navy. All kiddin aside, I once watched a Tin Can in State 5 seas (Hurricane conditions) and it was bouncing around so bad that the only thing I could think of was that those poor bastards should be gettin "Sea Pay", "Sub Pay" and "Flight Pay"...ALL AT THE SAME TIME! all seriousness, this is an absolutely AMAZING INVENTION and this guys got a lot of guts and confidence in his invention.


Now Sir....this here video was sent t'Cookie by a young woman who stated that she "wished she could STILL do this." I imagine that there be a few men-folks out there who wished they knew her WHEN she could still do this...


Wednesday Wanks...

In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it's forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place.when this man takes up residency in this house.

This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character".

There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address. His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be ma ny times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly.

But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this. His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.

Who is this man? you ask. You think you know, don't you?
See below.



Gotta give a big old Cookshack HAT TIP to "Charlie The Cop" fer that one...


...and now...fer all a you Sports Fans....

Choose the best play from THREE photos from the game:

A. Toomer hauls in a 38 yard prayer from Manning in the first half:

B. Plexico Burress hauls in the game winning TD with under a minute to go:

C. Bambi MacAfee signals for a left turn during the pregame show:

Submit yur vote!

Yupper...we can all Thank John Yowan frum out Kansas way fer that one....

Arthritis Causes

A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stai ned; his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the disheveled guy turned to the pr iest and asked, “Say, father, what causes arthritis?”

“Mister, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man.”

“Well I’ll be.” the drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. “I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?”

“I don’t have it father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.”

Thanks "MightyMom"....

This may be the best Living Will I've seen

I,_________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
Malt Scotch
Cold Beer
Mexican food
French fries
Ice cream

It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the 'fat lady sing,' and call it a day!

Gotta Thank Mr. Clint Griffin(an old Jarhead) frum out San Diego way fer that one...

Hmmm...after see'n this, I just might start drinkin Perrier....


Tuesday, January 06, 2009

The just don't make em like this no mo...

Here be a short trip down memory lane.....

Gotta Thank my very old friend John Keating from out Michigan way fer bringin back those memories...

Monday, January 05, 2009

Why am I NOT surprized...?

Well Sir, havin wurked and drank with a ton of Irish cops over the years, especially on St. Paddy's Day, and have'n married an Irish lass from an Irish family, I guess this headline just sorta says; Ho whats new?

Hey Chief!! Y'all got any relatives stuck in Cuba???

"Planeload of drunk Irish passengers creates havoc on Cuba bound flight!!

by Scott Carmichael Jan 4th 2009 @ 1:00PM

In what can only be described as Déjà vu, 40 Irish passengers bound for Cuba created a riot on their Thomas Cook flight.

The group filled up on booze, harassing and punching fellow passengers, and one of them even went so far as to attempt opening the emergency exit mid-flight.

One terrified passenger ended up sitting with the flight attendants in the galley for 5 hours just to get away from the ruckus.

According to the (sketchy) report, the hooligans continued their drunken rioting at their resort, and even on the return flight. 17 of them were actually barred from boarding the flight back home to London Gatwick, but the article does not mention what their fate was, so for all we know, they are still stuck in Cuba.

After reading the story, and the reports from passengers on the flight, I'd say the group was lucky they were not on a US flight carrying federal air marshals. If a drunk fool started smoking and punching fellow passengers on a commercial flight in this country, I'd hate to think what would happen to them, but I'm fairly sure it would not be the weak "investigating events with a view to a possible complaint to police" reported in the source article."

Hey there Mr. FBI man....

Hey there Mr. FBI man, when Y'all get done with Bill Richardson, ya might wanna take a look-see at this here developement. Since I've lived in this area of the country all my life, and just spotted this story over at "The Jawa Report", I thought it worth the reprint...

"Clintons Officially B-Listed?

The Destiny USA entertainment and shopping complex in Syracuse, New York, was given a tremendous boost by strong political support from Senator Hillary Clinton. She pushed legislation for tax-exempt bonds to finance the project and enabled a provision in a highway bill for Destiny USA roadway construction. According to a spokesman, Sen. Clinton's efforts just showed her "unwavering commitment" to improving the struggling economy. Not everyone, however, agrees.

It's curious, according to today's New York Times, that the developer of Destiny USA donated $100,000 to Bill Clinton's foundation at the same time that Sen. Hillary Clinton showed unwavering support for the project. In other words, the timing of the donation with respect to Sen. Clinton's support sure hints of a payoff.

Nevertheless, there are no allegations of wrongdoing thus far, rather only a whiff of suspicious circumstances. In essence, the Times is merely atomizing a bit of stink in the vicinity of the Clintons.

Now, any regular consumer of the news must conclude that the Times' putting stink on the Clintons is out of character, a dramatic departure from its normally protective and apologetic coverage of the famous family. Could it be that the Times is finally trying to winch its journalistic credibility out of the utopian tank?

Frankly, I don't think so and the fact that the Times is reporting about some possible Clintonian political favoritism is secondary in newsworthiness to the fact that the Times is reporting anything unfavorable about the Clintons.

Furthermore, the Times reports negatively about the Clintons not because of credible allegations or sound evidence or the results of a year-long investigation but because of "oh-lookee-here" suspicious circumstances. For front page prominence on the Times, it's weak, it's vague, it's thin and it's out of place. Surely, there are other news stories more worthy.

Consequently, one might suspect that the stink on Clinton story is a feint, an attempt to distract public dialog away from something more substantive. Of course, I won't deny the possibility that the Times is simply sending a message to the Clintons -- informing them that the old Gray Lady is getting her marching orders from a new set of leftist mouths. Yes, perhaps Bill and Hillary have been officially bumped to the B-List.

In conclusion, despite the Times' attempt to put stink on the Clintons, a fishier smell appears to waft from the fact that the Times published the story in the first place. (Source) "

Sometimes I feel like Diogenes walking around with a lantern looking for an honest man/politician ...Hmmmph, what an effort in futility that is!

Sunday, January 04, 2009

To ALL Vets, Disabled Vets, and folks that care... "A Vet's Plea".

This morning I received an E-mail from a blog buddy named "Yankee Mom". Her E-Mail was entitled "A Vet's Plea", and it contained a link to both her blog-site and that of "Greg's Notes", a Disabled Vet who is in need of some help in his life at this time.

Before I proceed any further, let me say a few things. Cookie is also an 80% Disabled Vet, and although I cannot relate directly to Greg's specific situation, I can relate to the limited income, and to certain folks telling you "Go see the VA", and his need for some financial assistance in his life at this time.

Because I am also a DAV, I will do whatever I can to assist one of my former brothers in arms in the spirit of "Semper Fi". I realize that this type of story and plea is one that did not make the evening news or local newspaper/media, so, to those of you looking for some sort of vetting or verification, I can offer none, other than this mans word. You should stop reading now if this is what you require.

In his post, which I will ask you to read (in the link I have supplied ) if you so desire, I can hear some of the bitterness that I too have felt on occasion. Remember, although Greg needs assistance with a "Legal" matter, it is because of his Service Connected Disability that he cannot work to begin with. He responded to his Country's call and has paid a price, a price we told him we would help him with when he returned.

If you are a Vet, a Disabled Vet, or a caring person who would like to help, please go to "Greg's Notes" and read "We Are Home, We Receive Disability, Where is our Help Now?".