JUST A GOOD OLD FASHIONED PATRIOTIC BLOG, with
Backwoods straite tawk, views, wizdom & recipees frum the man that duz the cookin...."Cookie". Scroll Through "SEARCH THIS BLOG", "ARCHIVES" or "PREVIOUS POSTS" fer the various RECIPEE'S....
Y'all Remember..."NEVER TRUST A SKINNY COOK".
Now THIS is Cookie's kinda "Boat"! The BEST kind of MARINE is a SUBMARINE!
Saturday, March 21, 2009
...and we're gettin ready t'have one a these here in the Syracuse area.....
This so DEAD ON I'm gonna post it agin......
Wake the hell up America. Our freedoms are being infringed upon and taken from us little by little everyday. It's time to stand up and be heard/counted, and y'all can start by removing just about every self servin incumbent there is frum office this next upcommin election.
Gotta THANK "Kathy" from the Syracuse area fer sendin the first video to us.....
Yupper...our illustrious Governor is now tryin t'pass this new tax....
Now Sir, fortunately, Cookie has never patronized any establishments like this (ahem cough), but if'n I did, I'd be mad as hell, just like Red State Update is......
If you consider yourself a Patriotic American...WATCH THIS!!
I received a "heads-up" regardin this here video from a fellow 912 Project member, "Francine" and a sportman friend of mine, "Mr. Rybaak" from up Oswego County way....
Redistributing the Wealth....and, "The Last Irish Joke"...
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Gotta Thank "Terry_Jim" fer this great joke....
A Scotsman, an Englishman, and an Irishman were debating the merits of their respective local pubs.
"Ya know," said the Scotsman, "I prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow there's a wonderful little bar called McTavish's. The landlord there goes out of his way for the locals, so much so that when you buy 4 drinks he'll buy the 5th drink for you."
The Englishman then says, "At my local, the Red Lion, the barman there will buy your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."
"Ahhhhh, that's nothing laddies", said the Irishman. "Back home in me own Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. The moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another. They buy all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. And it's all on the house".
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately scorn his claims, but the Irishman swears every word is true.
The Englishman finally says, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Well, not to meself, personally," said the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister." _____________________________________
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'
John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.' _____________________________________
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the Frenchman has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.
The old lady thinks: The Frenchman must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde thinks: That Frenchman must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The Frenchman thinks: The American must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The American thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack that Frenchman again. _______________________________________
Colonoscopy
If you've had one you'll understand and if you haven't, your time is coming.
This is from newshound Dave Barry's colonoscopy journal:
I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .
Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'
I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's enemies.
I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the moviPrep.
You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.
The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.
MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.
After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.
At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked.
Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.
When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate.
'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.
I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ. ______________________________________
Why Sentence structure is so important...
The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'
'Could you jack off ?' she said. 'I feel like shit.' ______________________________________
Proof of just where the Irish first came from. Man...me Irish lass of a wife is gonna kill me fer this one.....
...and this should make all you Irish ladd's & Lassies very proud.....
It occurred to me after posting these above two videos that to some folks, this could be construed as "racist"....IT'S NOT!Both of these video's have been out on YouTube for many months and it was just coincidence that I posted them in this order...and I'm not gonna take one of em down just because of what somebody MIGHT think!
Why it's not advisable to have a trampoline in Colorado....
I'm just an old Vietnam era Disabled Veteran Seabee, (and an old "Diesel-Boat" Sub-Sailer ) who's just a killin time...till time kills me. After retiring from many years in Law Enforcement as a Detective Sergeant, I now spends most a m'time a cookin fer feller sportsmen(and m' Wife) & writin a cook'n column fer a Fish & Game Magazine. I Hunt & Fish and don't care much fer liberals or ACLUers. I live in a small northern NY town on Oneida Lake, and like it that way. I can be as cantankerous as a Grizzly Bear with a tooth ache, or as cuddly as a Teddy Bear...mostly the former...
