Saturday, February 02, 2008

Sunday Sundries....

Subject: FW: Wife's Night Out


On Friday night, my good naybor Clem's wife decides to go out with her friends drinking and dancing....

He was okay with it, cause he got to watch sports and play on the Internet all night...

He heard her stumble into bed around 4 and laughed knowin she's gonna have a monster hangover when she wakes up....

He woke up next morning and went outside to the family Volvo, which she used last night....

He immediately breathed a sigh of relief cause it was all in one piece....

He circled the car looking for dents and found none....

But .... Wait a minute ~ Whats this...?

Uh Oh...





...and...some differant views by some celebrities...

_______________________________ of my loyal woman-folk readers sent this to me t' men...make note.....

Menopause Jewelry

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a
big fucking red mark on his forehead.
Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond . Dumb ass.

Saturday satire...

Well Sir...this is one of those sleepless nights that we all get every now and layin in bed wide awake won't accomplish much...I figure I might just as well get Saturday's post ready fer postin....and..there ain't too much the Cookie has to say about anything as I've used up my quota of rants fer the week so....

I'll start with a National Weather Forecast for the next few days...

Followed by Dr. Suesse makes a comeback.....

...and we gotta have some Cowboy humor....


Hot date in Mississippi...

A young Mississippi man goes to a drug store and says
to the pharmacist: 'I got a hot date tonight, an'
I need me some pertection. How much is a pack a' them rubbers
gonna cost me?'

The pharmacist responds: 'A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax.'

'TACKS!' the shocked redneck says. Lord ave mercy!~, don't they stay on by themselves?

Putting Your Affairs in Order

A woman went to her doctor.

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, "I've some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order."

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

"Well honey, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
when things don't go so well.

In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer.
Let's head to the club and have a martini."

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.
There were some laughs and more martinis and reminiscing.

They were eventually approached by some
of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end.

"I've been diagnosed with AIDS and was told I'm going to die."

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left,
the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,

"Mom, I thought you said you were dying of cancer,
and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.
Why on earth would you tell them that?"

The woman said, " Yes, I did. Do you think I want any of those
bitches sleeping with your father after I'm gone???"

That's "Putting Your Affairs In Order. "

Gotta thank MightyMom, "Charlie the Cop", "Fish" frum Kentucky and Sue Gertson fer these here posters and prose of jocularity...

...and finally...I just love a great practical joke......

Friday, February 01, 2008

Yupper...typical Marine !! ...and..A Marine's story...

...and...if'n ya be wunderin what 1955 movie that scene was was...

Ya know...I really enjoy bustin Marine's balls...but... that's because I love and respect those guys and what they've done for our great nation...

A little story about a Marine fer y'all to reflect on. My brother Bob (God rest his Soul) was a Marine in the Korean War. He had quit High School, joined the Marines and went off to war. As is almost always the case, he came back a changed man, as many of us can relate to.

What he witnessed, experienced and learned in war, prompted him to not only go back and complete HS, but go on to College and graduate with honors. He became an educator, and later joined the United States Air Force, retiring as a Colonel. He flew F-4 Phantom's over Nam for 2 tours. Understandably, he always had a special place in his heart toward the Corps...

He was always an inspiration to me, and at many times, my best mentor. I always had the highest love and respect for him, and as a young lad of 8 or 9, was proud to wear his Marine Corps cover (piss cutter).

As a Navy Seabee, I was honored and proud to both train and serve with The United States Marines...and at this time of my life, be a member of The Marine Corps League, Emerald City Detachment.... SEMPER FI mates...

A few days back, I was talking with my grandson, and discovered that he had absolutely no knowledge of either WWII or Vietnam. I also discovered the same regarding my 12 year old granddaughter. I found this very disturbing that they weren't even aware of them.

Now Sir....anyone who's ever been to war will generally not glorify it, but some wars must be fought if men are to be free and equal, and most importantly, our children need to be taught about the great men who sacrificed and died so that we may live the way we live today.

I guess I'm just an old fashioned patriotic guy, and I make no apologies for that, but we need to get back to what the Battle Hymn of the Republic sings about...before we lose it altogether....

A very beautiful version of The Battle Hymn of the Republic by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir...In a day and time when we're not supposed to mention the Lord, or God, and it's not cool to be Patriotic....we need MORE, much more, of this....

Cookie's Note: Every year the Cookie and his wife attend a special ceremony on Memorial Day weekend called "The Watch-Fire" (mentioned in the Hymn). As an absolutely huge pile of wood and old flags is lit at sundown, this Hymn is played and sung...and it will bring a tear to yur eye...

Sorry...just couldn't resist the Hillary and Obama Humor...and.."I was drugged..".

....and...along the same vein....

....and...along anuther vein of thinkin....


MOTHERS (and fathers) WHO DRUGGED US!!!

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question.

Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?'

I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:

I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.

I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.

I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.

I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.

I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem...

The world would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us!

Ah Yes....Marines can be Soooo subtle....

On their 50th Anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on.

She went to her husband, a retired Marine pilot, and said: "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looked up from his newspaper and said: 'Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married'

She said, 'Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night? '

He nodded and said, "Yes dear, I said; 'Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobies and screw your brains out".

She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?"

He looked her up and down and replied, "Mission Accomplished".

. ...A Story with a Moral...

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

'Johnny, do you have a story to share?'

Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down

so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.'

'Good Heavens' said the horrified teacher. 'What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?'

'Stay the f….k away from Aunt Carol when she's drinking.'

Subject: Why Men Shouldn't Write Advice Columns

Dear Ted,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help? Sincerely, Susie Fox

Dear Susie,
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the clips holding the vacuum lines onto the inlet manifold for air leaks. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburettor. I hope this helps.
The Cookie gotta thank both Susan Gertson and "Charlie the Cop" fer all of the above submissions... THANKS MATES...

Thursday, January 31, 2008


Well Folks...fer the last several days, the Cookie has been on a nostalgic kick (in case ya hadn't noticed)...and I was doin just fine in my reverie until I read this over at Shooting the Messenger, and received an E-mail about it from my good buddy Pat frum over at A Day in the Life...PRH ....

Berkeley council tells Marines to leave

By Doug Oakley

Article Launched: 01/30/2008 01:48:16 PM PST

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Hey-hey, ho-ho, the Marines in Berkeley have got to go.
That's the message from the Berkeley City Council, which voted 6-3 Tuesday night to tell the U.S. Marines that its Shattuck Avenue recruiting station "is not welcome in the city, and if recruiters choose to stay, they do so as uninvited and unwelcome intruders."

In addition, the council voted to explore enforcing its law prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation against the Marines because of the military's don't ask, don't tell policy. And it officially encouraged the women's peace group Code Pink to impede the work of the Marines in the city by protesting in front of the station.

In a separate item, the council voted 8-1 to give Code Pink a designated parking space in front of the recruiting station once a week for six months and a free sound permit for protesting once a week from noon to 4 p.m.

Councilman Gordon Wozniak opposed both items.

The Marines have been in Berkeley for a little more than a year, having moved from Alameda in December of 2006. For about the past four months, Code Pink has been protesting in front of the station.

"I believe in the Code Pink cause. The Marines don't belong here, they shouldn't have come here, and they should leave," said Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates after votes were cast.

A Marines representative did not respond to requests for comment.

The resolution telling the Marines they are unwelcome and directing the city attorney to explore issues of sexual orientation discrimination was brought to the council by the city's Peace and Justice commission.

The recommendation to give Code Pink a parking space for protesting and a free sound permit was brought by council members Linda Maio and Max Anderson.

Code Pink on Wednesday started circulating petitions to put a measure on the November ballot in Berkeley that would make it more difficult to open military recruiting offices near homes, parks, schools, churches libraries or health clinics. The group needs 5,000 signatures to make the ballot.

Even though the council items passed, not everyone is happy with the work of Code Pink. Some employees and owners of businesses near the Marines office have had enough of the group and its protests.

"My husband's business is right upstairs, and this (protesting) is bordering on harassment," Dori Schmidt told the council. "I hope this stops."

An employee of a nearby business who asked not to be identified said Wednesday the elderly Code Pink protesters are aggressive, take up parking spaces, block the sidewalk with their yoga moves, smoke in the doorways, and are noisy.

"Most of the people around here think they're a joke," the woman said.

Wozniak said he was opposed to giving Code Pink a parking space because it favors free speech rights of one group over another.

"There's a line between protesting and harassing, and that concerns me," Wozniak said. "It looks like we are showing favoritism. We have to respect the other side, and not abuse their rights. This is not good policy."

Ninety-year-old Fran Rachel, a Code Pink protester who spoke at the council meeting, said the group's request for a parking space and noise permit was especially important because the Marines are recruiting soldiers who may die in an unjust war.

"This is very serious," Rachel said. "This isn't a game; it's mass murder. There's a sickness of silence of people not speaking out against the war. We have to do this."

Anderson, a former Marine who said he was "drummed out" of the corps when he took a stand against the Vietnam War, said he'd love to see the Marines high tale it out of town.

"We are confronted with an organization that can spend billions of dollars on propaganda," Anderson said. "This is not Okinawa here; we're involved in a naked act of aggression. If we can provide a space for ordinary people to express themselves against this kind of barbarity, then we should be doing it."

First off I say....then let "Code Pink" protect all those absolute ASSHOLES in Berkeley, and San Fransisco, and so on....they all deserve each other....

But I remind those piss ant brained shit-headed sons of bitches and daughters of whores that are wearing rose colored glasses over their liberal communist blind eye's, of something George Orwell once stated:

“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”

Oh...and BTW Berkeley....


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

They don't make movies, or actors, like this anymore....

Well Sir...hope this doesn't over-do this nostalgic music stuff I been doin...but the truth is...I'm havin fun lookin up all these tunes up, postin em and listenin to em....and ain't that what "bloggin" is all about...havin some fun... MightyMom says: "I'm waxing Nostalgic..."

Now... I'm just gonna let y'all watch and recall which movies are which...but I gotta say this about the last two Pat Boone movies, "April Love" and " Bernadine"., and the song "Love Letters in the Sand". This was a time when the Cookie was finishing Puberty and going into Adultry ( that right?), at any rate, it was a special time that just about any young man can relate to...

....a time when the merest accidental touch of a young womans thigh against yours in a movie theater or dancin would necessitate the need to either remain seated much longer than you normally would have, or walk off the dance floor with yur hands folded low in front of ya....if'n ya foller my drift... this next video... does anybody remember what'cha call that thing that's goin it an absolutely huge CD?...and what the hell is that thing that's makin it go round...hmmmm...

Meanwhile....back at "Rick's Cafe'...." of the all time best fight scene's ever...and some good Irish music...

S'more Musical memories.....

Well Sir...received quite a few e-mails and nice comments (well most of em were nice...The Chief had to bust my balls a mite...)regardin the "Musical Memories" figured I'd post a few more....

Gonna start with some Peter, Paul & Mary (man...I always had a thing fer Mary), "If I Had a Hammer",...followed by "Where Have All The Flowers Gone". I really believe they were the 1st "Hippies"...

The next song is by The Animals ...and its a song I know that several of my old War Dog readers will equate to a certain south-east Asian country... "We Gotta Get Outta This Place"...

...and...Y'all recall "Tom Dooley" by The Kingston Trio. This is audio video...

Y'all just gotta have some good old boy...Jerry Lee Lewis, with "Whole Lot of Shakin Goin on". Now...a few of y'all just might not know that "Shakin" or "Shaky Puddin", was a code for...well...I'm sure y'all can figure that out. The adults never really got it as to what old Jerry Lee was really talkin bout....

...and one that I always liked but it didn't go to far in the music charts..."Rovin Gambler/This Train" TKT.....

Now Sir...the next video really does kinda tug at my heart strings. It's a birthday tribute made by The United States Marine Corps to their Brothers-In-Arms, The United States Navy Seabee' old alma mater. It's a Seabee history from the Pacific Islands of WWII, Korea, Nam, and both Gulf Wars. If 'n ya ever wondered what the Seabee's were all about... this video will explain it.... and some good tunes in it as well... Thank You USMC...

Finally...tribute to those courageous Half-Brothers to The United States Navy Seabee's...The United States Marines....whom I had the distinct honor to train and serve with...

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Musical Reminiscin.... The Music of Our Live's. Let those memories roll mates...

Well of late, I been a noticin that quite a few feller bloggers of my age group and ilk, mainly old War Dog's like the Cookie, Mushy and Pat, have been gettin nostalgic and writin about various past events in their lives. Now Sir...I got t'thinkin that if'n there be one thing that will instantly trigger memories, both good and bad....that be MUSIC!

Now mam...When the Cookie was just a little ginger snap, about 7 or 8 years old, I saw my grandfather's "Blue's Harp" (Harmonica) sittin on the table, so I picked it up and attempted to play various songs of the day...and lo and behold...I discovered that I actually had an ear fer music and could, with very little effort, play a purdy decent tune when I set my mind to it. weren't too long afore I could play just about anything that folks requested, and eventually, I graduated to a type of Harmonica called a "Honner...64 Chromonica" which had a button on it that allowed ya to play 64 notes....

As some of you older folks will recall, in the early 50's, to the late 60's, there was a Harmonica Trio called "The Harmonicats", so naturally, I started emulatin and playin their various arrangements. So...yesterday, I researched YouTube for any Harmonicats music, and although I found some, I couldn't find any video's of any real good quality, of the video's below is a 1940 rendition of The Harmonicats, and another one from the 60''ll get the idea...

So...if'n yur in a hurry, ya might just as well leave and come back later when ya got some time...OR...pour yurself a cup of Joe, sit back, smoke em if'n ya got em...enjoy some music frum our life....and let those memories roll....

The Harmonicats with some early boogie and the "Theme from Exodus", Theresa Brewer is honky tonkin with "Music, Music, Music", and some good old Kingston Trio songs, "Worried Man", "Greenback Dollar", "MTA",..a song that reminds me of a few times the Cookie spent a night or two in jail (and what got me there) while sailin around the world in the Navy, "The Sloop John B"....

...and this musical montage is ended with a very special song dedicated to the Chief frum over at Smolderin Embers in a Mohawk Campfire....