Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday Thuds...


The best seat belt on the market!

Hmmm....a "Fish'n Gazebo". Good idear!


My buddy "Patrick" sent me this account regard'n a stranded motorcyclist up in Canada...

Frozen carburetor

On a bitterly cold winter's day several years ago in northern British Columbia, a RCMP constable on patrol came across a motorcyclist, who was swathed in protective clothing and helmet, stalled by the roadside.

"What's the matter?" asked the policeman.

"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.

"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."


"OK, Watch me and I will show you."

The constable warmed the carburetor, as promised.

The bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

A few days later, the detachment office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorbike rider.

It began: "On behalf of my daughter, who recently was stranded....”

Yah Well.... Piss on you!!


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wednesday Wanks....

Only the Irish have Jokes Like These

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
" That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."
" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."
" Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

" That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."


An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over.
" So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."
" I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."


Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya".

" Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

" That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..."

"Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me."

" I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally, she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen, Tim?"

" It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned."

"Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me the truth, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee."


Mary Clancy goes up to Father O' Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, " So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news . My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

Yes she says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary? "

She says, He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun...'



A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .

The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either!"

...and Bill Balsimico, Owner/Operator of "The Casa D'Ice" down near Pittsburgh has recently posted this here sign out front of his fine establishment.



Now Sir, I know there are quite a few of folks out there who, at this point in history, just aren't sure if'n they are (or have been) racists. This should help Y'all answer that question.

You might be a racist;

If you think that a czar is unconstitutional
... you might be a racist!

If you are opposed to a government run health care system
... you might be a racist!

If you think that it is unAmerican to bow before the Saudi King
... you might be a racist!

If you think that the stimulus plan has been an utter failure
... you might be a racist!

If you think that this administration is driving the deficit up at alarming rates
... you might be a racist!

If you think that this is a nation based on Christian values
... you might be a racist!

If you think that communism and socialism are NOT the solution
... you might be a racist!

If you value the 1st Amendment, but think that the media is state-run
... you might be a racist!

If you are sick and tired of the race card being played
... you might be a racist!

If you are a racist according to the current liberal agenda
... you might just be an American!

Well Sir, the other day I posted a story bout "Don't bite the Kootchie!", an experience my blonde daughter recently had. Well Sir, she decided to leave a comment on the article, which I perceived to be a challange, so, in response, here be an OBG Blonde joke.

Blondes Go To School Too

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"

Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl said.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,”we were saying the alphabet, today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"

"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled,”we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 34."

Photobucket Partial Nudity Ahead

Here be a "tip" fer all of womenfolk out there, specially if'n yur frum Canada

Various Types of Bra

For some women, it's easy to find bras that fit in styles they like. But many others aren't so lucky, spending endless time and money in search of that elusive perfect style and fit.

The underwire bra is designed to provide additional lift. Underwire can be found in many different styles of bras. Some women swear by their underwire and others find them very uncomfortable. One way to determine if this is a style of bra that will work for you is to give it a try……

Underwire bra - from Paris

Underwire bra - from Saskatchewan! NOTE: Notice she's a Blonde also!!

Gotta THANK "Chicago Charlie" fer most of the submissions.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

And the beat goes on.......

Well Sir, I just returned home from testifying in a homicide case and received this article from a fellow compatriot. If'n y'all got a High Blood Pressure condition, DON'T read this article or watch the short 9 minute video I've posted with it, cause right now my temples are throbbing and my BP is probably out of sight.

Bank of America Removes American Flags Honoring Dead Marine
BY Herschel Smith

Greenville, South Carolina saw the arrival of a Marine who perished in Afghanistan, and Gaffney, S.C. was his ultimate resting place.

Only the faint sound of lightly marching feet could be heard as hundreds stood silent on the Greenville-Spartanburg International tarmac Wednesday while fully adorned Marines carried Lance Cpl. Chris Fowlkes’ flag-draped coffin.

The solemn arrival began an afternoon-long procession that ultimately wound through the streets of the 20-year-old Marine’s hometown of Gaffney, where businesses shut down and mourners lined the streets.

The homecoming came six days after the former Gaffney High School football player died in a military hospital in Germany from injuries sustained a week earlier in an explosion in the Helman province of Afghanistan.

Well-wishers waved flags, saluted and shed tears as an army of police cars escorted Fowlkes’ family along the 40-mile stretch from the airport to the town.

Lance Corporal Chris Fowlkes was a popular and well known young man in Gaffney, and a brave warrior who gave his life in the service of his country. It was seemingly a very heart-felt and patriotic funeral procession. But all was not well in Gaffney, S.C.

A South Carolina Bank of America branch is drawing criticism Thursday after an employee reportedly ordered the removal of American flags placed to honor a fallen Marine over fears that people would be offended.

The Palmetto Scoop received one eyewitness email claiming that the branch manager at Bank of America’s Gaffney branch at 1602 West Floyd Baker Blvd. “told a citizen who was preparing the route for a U.S. Marine killed in action in Afghanistan by placing small American flags along the roadway that the flags might upset some of her customers.”

Said the outraged tipster, “[The branch manager] took them down and made the citizen go in to get them if she didn’t want them thrown away.”

The flags were part of the funeral procession of Lance Corporal Christopher Fowlkes, 20, who died last week after an explosion in Afghanistan’s Helmand province.

WSPA-TV has also received similar tips about the “flag flap.”

A teller at the branch confirmed to TPS that the branch manager had been there around the time of the incident but had left for the day.

Bank of America released a statement apologizing for the incident and celled it a misunderstanding.

“We want to ensure the community knows how deeply proud we are of the men and women who have sacrificed so much in service to our country,” the statement said. “The bank does fly the American Flag at our locations throughout the country and flags were displayed in front of our banking center in Gaffney the evening prior to our dedicated Marine returning home.”

UPDATE: WCBD in Charleston reports that Bank of America said the incident was a “miscommunication in corporate policy.” That raises the question, which policy would require employees to remove American flags that are part of a funeral procession for a fallen Marine?

One commenter says “You Lie.” The branch in Lexington [Main Street, Lexington, South Carolina, United States of America] refuses to fly the flag the tellers tell me they have on site. The flag pole has been naked for over 2 years now. It is a disgrace, and a poke in the eye.”

So should BofA rename their corporation to bank of Russia? Is it Bank of America, or is it not? With whose offense were they worried? Really. Who, exactly, would have come into the bank and demanded that an American flag be removed for a Marine who perished in Afghanistan? And why would Bank of AMERICA have cared?

What corporate policy was in effect? Was this a branch-specific issue, or is there a corporate policy that forbids the displaying of American flags for the fear of causing offense? Who was responsible for removing the flags? Has corporate policy been changed? If so, why was the policy in effect? If not, what is the justification for the policy? Will Bank of AMERICA issue a formal apology to the Fowlkes family first and then to AMERICA?

There are many unanswered questions concerning this ugly incident. I feel that it’s necessary for a BofA official to formally comment on this article to enlighten my readers.

In the mean time, my most sincere condolences goes out to the Fowlkes family. God be with you through this most difficult time.

Marine Corps, Patriotism

Bank of America;


This is a 9 minute radio interview with the woman who so honorably and graciously originally put the flags on the street to honor this fallen hero, Lance Cpt. Chris Fowlkes. It's worth the listen...

Monday, September 21, 2009

Cold Case Testimony T'Day...NO POST!!

Just received word that I have to be at the DA's office at 0830 on the 22nd to testify regarding a 33 year old murder case, so NO POST Today mates!!

"Don't bite the Kootchie !!!" plus, "Herd'n Cats"

Photobucket ADULT CONTENT !!!

Well Sir, now that I've got yur attention, here's "The Rest of The Story".

Under the threat of homicide (or worse) one of my daughters warned me NOT to post this story, however, since I got such a great laugh outta this incident and the loud and unexpected exclamation itself has stuck in my mind since , I just had t'share it with Y'all!

A few days back one of my daughters ( I can't say which one cause she'll destroy me and my computer but she's the blonde one) was over at the hacienda visitin with Cookie and his wife. During the visit, my daughter was sitting at the large picnic table on our enclosed porch and was straddling one of the bench seats. The above cat, "Bugsy" ( looks cute and harmless don't he?), decided to curl up between her legs and take a cat-nap.

As our conversation was ending and she was getting up and about to leave, she suddenly got this excruciating look of pain across her face and yelled out "DON'T BITE THE KOOTCHIE!!", followed by some rather profanity laden expletives. There was a brief period of silence, followed by some very raucous laughter from my wife and myself.

Now Sir, any of Y'all out there who have ever had a kitten (Bugsy is only 5 months old) know that kittens teeth are like sharp little needles. Well, it seems that Bugsy did not particularly appreciate being moved from his comfortable location and, through the shorts that my daughter was wearing, chomped down on the area that was closest to him, which I'm sure y'all have figured out at this point in the story.

Well Sir, Cookie just cain't resist telling a good humorous story so after relating those events to a few friends who all found it as humorous I we did, I decided to post it. Now Sir, I know that everything about this "cat-nip" just BEGS fer certain comments, so, if'n y'all do decide to leave a comment, remember, some folks just might be offended so please use discretion in yur wording, and remember...



...and, along those lines....

Gleefully borrowed from my buddy "SubVet"....

Sunday, September 20, 2009

What does "Unalienable" mean to you??

Some of these "Executive Orders" have been in place for over 30 years, so they are not just Obama dictates, however, God forbid we have another major terrorist attack because with just one stroke of the pen declaring a "Federal State of Emergency", our INALIENABLE RIGHTS will be gone. GONE!!!

If your a student of history, y'all will recall that a certain little guy with a funny look'n mustache did exactly the same thing back in the 1930's, and the ramifications of that pen stroke, and his legacy still live on to this very day!

BTW, from some of the things I have read as of late, even the Internet could be shut down/taken over during a "State of Emergency". Now Sir, not being an engineer, I'm not even sure that this is possible, but if so, one of those E.O.'s allows for it.


A big old COOKSHACK THANKS to Glenn Maine fer send'n that t'Cookie.

"ISM" Sumthin t'think about!

A fellow compatriot of mine, Glenn Maine of "Oathkeepers" just sent me this here short 1948 cartoon, and, as I started to watch it, I found that things like "the kid at the malt shop" no longer held true, and I almost didn't watch the rest of it, but I'm glad I did, because ALL OF IT IS ESPECIALLY PERTINENT TODAY!

"ISM", in my book still stands for "I" "Self" and "Me".

As you watch, you can easily identify and put a face to the various characters.


Now Sir, I just learned that, even though my family is racially mixed, I'm a RACIST!!

It's the same old game, disagree with him or his administration and yur a racist, ** Sigh**. This constant admonition being leveled at folks is really gonna hurt the next African-American who tries to run for the office of President because folks will certainly remember this disgusting ploy and just NOT want to deal with this bullshit anymore.