Saturday, May 22, 2010

**Sigh**, they not only breed, BUT THEY VOTE!!

I've never listened to the Michael Savage show, but several folks, Sue Gertson being the most recent, sent me this short sound bite of a caller to his show. This caller is an excellent example of a perfectly good waste of oxygen and food. BTW, I didn't know that Obama (not the taxpayers) personally paid for everyone's welfare and food stamps out of "his own stash".

Ask any cop who's been employed in Law Enforcement for any length of time what long term Alcohol/Substance Abuse (both parental and offspring), untreated FAS and FAE ( Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Fetal Alcohol Effect) and generational in-breeding leads to and they'll use this woman as a fine example.

Can Y'all tell I have absolutely NO PATIENCE for STUPID people, not ignorant...STUPID!!!



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Here's one reason there was no looting in Nashville during the recent catastrophic flooding.









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The Quick-Thinking Old Man An old man in Louisiana had owned a large farm with a big pond in the back, and fixed up nice--with picnic tables, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He grabbed a 5-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he got closer, he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said,

"I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Quick-thinking old men can still think young.
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....ahhh yes, the "good ol days". How many of y'all can relate to this regard'n some period of yur life??

Friday, May 21, 2010

Ahhh, I wouldn't shake hands with this guy if'n I was you....

Have another beer sport!! Musta been an old Marine....


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Well, gotta get ready fer the upcome'n Memorial Day Weekend. Geeesh, how freaking big was this guy's BBQ???

590 pounds...WHOA!! Well Sir, Cookie's gonna have some old Seabees over fer a little cookout on Memorial Day and they've got quite an appetite.














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When Cookie was in college I had the opportunity to work as a waiter and summer-stock actor in the Pennsylvania resort area of the Pocono's and was fortunate enough (very fortunate) to have met, and actually be on stage with a couple of these old greats. Here are some of their great "One-Liners". Enjoy!!

**BTW, that asshole Woddy Allen was originally mentioned in the below list, but I took the liberty of ELIMINATING him and his assinine proposal that Obama be granted dictatorial powers for a few years. **

Those fabulous Jewish Comedians

You may remember the old Jewish

Catskill comics of Vaudeville days and beyond:


Shecky Greene, 64); font-size: 24pt;">,

Red Buttons,

Totie Fields 64); font-size: 24pt;">,

Joey Bishop,

Milton Berle,

Jan Murray,

Danny Kaye,

Henny Youngman,

Buddy Hackett,

Sid Caesar,

Groucho Marx,

Jackie Mason,

Victor Borge,

Joan Rivers,

George Burns,

Allan Sherman,

Jerry Lewis,

Peter Sellers,

Carl Reiner,

Shelley Berman,

Gene Wilder,

George Jessel,

Alan King,

Mel Brooks,

Phil Silvers,

Jack Carter,

Rodney Dangerfield,

Don Rickles,

Jack Benny

and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in
their comedy. Here are a few examples:


* I just got back from a pleasure
trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me!

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* What are three words a woman never wants to
hear when she's making love? "Honey, I'm home!"

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* Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
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* We always hold hands. If I let go,
she shops.

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* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night; only this time I stayed
in the bathroom and cried.

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* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

**************************************

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours.
That was only for the estimate.

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* She got a mudpack and
looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

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* I was just in London; there is a
6-hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to
dinner, I feel sexy. When I go to bed, I feel hungry.

**********************************

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill so the doctor gave him
another six months.

*********************************

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. " Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

************************************

* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"

Patient: "Iam 60!" Doctor:

"See! What did I tell you?"

***************************************

* A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?
" The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

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* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears."

Doctor: "Don't answer!"

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* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

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* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much?
They're worth it.

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*Why do Jewish men die before their wives?

They want to.

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The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese food so much.

The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward is Not Now.

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There is a big controversy on the
Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

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Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

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Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?

A: It's called, 'Debbie Does Dishes'.

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Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

A: They never let anyone finish a sentence!
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Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position?

A: Facing Bloomingdale's.
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A man called his mother in Florida,

"Mom, how are you?"

" Not too good," said the
mother. "I've been very weak."

The son said, "Why are you so weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The son said, "That's terrible.

Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

The mother answered,

"Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

******************************************

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.

She asks, "What part is it?"

The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."

"The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part."

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Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?

A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

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Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: (Sigh) "Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody."

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Short summary of every Jewish
holiday:

They tried to kill us. We won.
Let's eat.

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Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said,

"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days"

"Force yourself," she replied.

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Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

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Q: Why are Jewish men circumcised?

A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that Isn't
20% off.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

I think these toons say it all regard'n immigration.

Gotta thank my old High School bud, Ken Blanchard fer send'n us these great toons.

...and I LOVE the one with Obama call'n them "undocumented Democrats", and THAT shipmates is what it is REALLY ALL ABOUT!!













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Ray Stevens duz it agin. "Come to the USA." and "Throw the Bums OUT!"




Thanks to Missy Susan Gertson who just happens to live in a border state and can relate to this song big time.

..and...."Throw The Bums Out!!" (Politicians that is.)



Yupper, you got it Ray! Whether yur a Republican, Democrat or Independent, makes no nevermind cause its NOT about Party affiliation. It's about your belief system and whether you support and defend the Constitution of The United States., "If yur an incumbent, YUR OUTTA THERE!!" We need to sweep Washington and other State and local governments with a big BROOM.
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A very informative one minute video. The government agencies Obama has created IN JUST THE HEALTH CARE BILL ALONE...in only one year in office!!!

BTW, if a person gets a job with one of the new federal agency's created by Obama, who do you think that person will be voting for in the next election so he/she can keep their job??? Yupper, he's creating jobs alright, and to keep those jobs it will be incumbant upon that civil service employee keeping him and his party in power. Think about it mates!!

video
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Tuesday, May 18, 2010

**Sigh**, what can I say....these people are truly mentally unstable!!

From my point of view, the most ignorant man in the world, Woody Allen just called Obama "brilliant", but wait till y'all read what he also said.

Woody Allen says President Obama should be granted dictatorial powers (seriously)



Woody Allen says President Obama should be granted dictatorial powers (seriously)
Woody Allen and wife Soon-Yi Previn. (AP)

Woody Allen has a strange take on the democracy that allowed him to become rich and famous.

The "Scoop" director said it would be a cool idea for President Barack Obama to be dictator for for a few years.

Why?

So he could get things done without all the hassle of opposing views getting in the way.

In an interview published by Spanish language newspaper La Vanguardia (that we translated), Allen says “I am pleased with Obama. I think he’s brilliant. The Republican Party should get out of his way and stop trying to hurt him.”

But wait - there's more!

The director said "it would be good…if he could be a dictator for a few years because he could do a lot of good things quickly."

Of course, Allen has a famously strange relationship with reality. The director took nude photos of his lover Mia Farrow's teen-age adopted daughter Soon-Yi Previn, and then ended up marrying her after separating from Farrow.

Farrow also said he molested their seven-year-old adopted daugther, Dylan. A judge refused to act on the charges, but called his relationship with Soon-Yi "grossly inappropriate."

Perhaps that judge has an opinion on Allen's "dictator" comments?


I gotta thank one of my fellow members of the CNY912, Rob, for sending this along to the Cookshack. Thanks Mate!!
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Monday, May 17, 2010

Ya cain't make this stuff up, and, can you pronounce "Corpsman" correctly?

Like my Seabee buddy "FishinMagician" (who sent me this) says, "ya cain't make this stuff up." It's a toss up who as to who is more ignorant/stupid, the person who the articles are about, or the "Lame-Stream" journalists who wrote the headlines and accompanying article.









































..BUT, this poster maker got it right on the nose!! Go get'em "R. Lee"!! Gotta Thank Loren Davies (a good old jarhead) fer passin this gem along!




















...and here's the "mis-pronounciation" that, if George Bush had said it, we'd still be reading and watching about it well into next month.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Ahhh, can you say PMS!!

Initially was going to attribute her tirade to PMS, but, upon further reveiw, I believe she is truly a PSHYCO....






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