OK.. the secret's out.. I was a "Pinko" fer a short spell.. the further Adventure's of Cookie..
No...not whatchur thinkin mates....
Well Sir... since its Sunday...and I likes t'make folks laugh on this here day...here's a true story that happened to this here Cookie a few weeks back. Kept it secret till now...but ah...what the hell...lifes about laughin at yurself when ya can...and givin other folks a laugh in the process...so here goes...
Now Sir...as most a y'all already know...several months back...just fer somethin differant t'do...I had my daughter Shellie...who's a new hair stylist...process my medium brown head hair and my gray beard...white. I recall tellin y'all this when I first posted the Santa Claus photygraph in my bio-profile....cause...that is what I look like...true...
Well Sir...havin naturally brown hair with a white coloration job don't last that long mister...the roots keep showin up like crazy after a couple a weeks...so..I have to keep havin the process done so's I can continue to look like Grizzly Adams, Moses or Santa Claus (yur choice)...so...two weeks or so ago I went in t'see my daughter and she began doing my beard and head again...
Now Sir...fer all a ya out there that ain't familiar with this makin yur hair white business...y'all gotta get blue...afore ya get white. Thats right...the beautician smears all a this here blue gunk all over yur head and face (beard) and that begins the process...hence...y'all wind up lookin like.....a fricken SMURF!
So there I sit...in a Hair Stylist shop...lookin like an honest to goodness, fer real Smurf...and every woman in the county (at least it seemed like it) comin in and out of the shop and gettin a good laugh outta the poor dumb bastard that's havin this done t'him....
...so...after ya sits fer quite a spell and lets the blue gunk do its stuff...then ya goes over to the sink...it's rinsed out...and Voila...White Hair. At least that's how its sposed t'work...but..not this time...sumthin went wrong...BIG TIME!
My first clue that somethin was amiss was when my daughter was rinsin my hair off...she got a strange look on her face and then got real quiet.....uh oh thought I. Then I looked in a mirror. I was absolutely incredulous....most of the hair on my head WAS FUCKIN BRIGHT PINK!!! Yupper...as pink as that first photygraf I got posted.....
So there I stood...pink hair on the top a my head....and a white beard on my puss. I looked like the freaken Energizer Bunny fer God's sake....
...Yupper...what a metamorphasis...frum a white haired old coot with brown roots...to a big old blue smurf...and endin up as the Energizer Bunny....
but WAIT! It's gets better....
After my daughter and the owner of the shop decided t'have a philosophical and scientific discusshun on just what mighta caused this here technicolor disaster fer what seemed like forever ...and every woman in the Syracuse area politely chucklin at the blue Smurf now turned pink Bunny...the owner of the shop told me "don't worry ....we won't let you leave with pink hair..."
Now Sir...she then told my daughter to use some sort of other chemical over at the sink and the pink would be gone. With much relief on my part...we proceeded to the sink where my daughter did what the owner had told her to do....cept'n... she musta did it just a might too long...
Uh Oh.....my next epiphany that sumthin else had also gone awry was when Shellie went very...VERY quiet this time...and in a quiverin voice called Susan, the owner, over to the sink. Oh Shit....what now thinks I?
The owner came over and after runnin her fingers through my wet hair...matter of factly says..."Well...it's fried." "What the fuck does "It's Fried" mean?" says I in a rather increasingly loud voice....
Neither one of em would say anything at first...then my daughter tentatively asks me to go back over to the styling chair. I look in a mirror...my hair is still a glowing pink. What's the problem thinks I? I reach up to feel it...and....MY FRICKIN HAIR COMES OUT IN MY HAND!!!
With a complete look of surprize and bewilderment...I look quizingly at my daughter...and she immediately breaks down in tears...the shop owner runs off to get a pen and liability release forms fer me t'sign...another woman bangs her head on her hair dryer frum laughin so hard...and two women who had just walked in and seen the commoshun and what was happenin...turn...and immediately walk back out without sayin a wurd...and I stand there holdin a handfull of pink fucking hair....
Well Sir....the Cookie man still has a pure white beard...however...the hair on my head is considerably shorter....much shorter....
and Oh...BTW...the shop owner was right...they didn't let me leave with pink hair...they done cut most of it all off....
Well Sir....its gonna be quite awhile afore this Cookie gets his full head of wavy hair back again....True story....but shhhh....don't tell no one ya hear....
posted by Cookie..... @ 2:13 PM
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