Saturday, September 06, 2008

Saturday & Sunday Sundries, Bumper-Stickers and.."Porn fer Women-Folk"..

Well Sir...got a little bit of everything t'day....enjoy!




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Hmmm...must be a Seabee stationed in Iraq with no Marines around....


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Well Sir...Missy Susan Gertson frum Texas done sent me some really "R" rated material that is considered "Porn fer Women".

Men....These are really disgusting!

Photobucket...WARNING MEN...DO NOT LOOK AT THE BELOW PHOTYGRAFFS!

MAY BE DAMAGING TO YOUR EYES!



** Ladies...CLICK TO ENLARGE if'n ya need to**












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....and this just in frum The DNC....



H/T: "Subvet"....
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H/T: "Charlie The Chi-Town Cop", Missy Susan, Clint Griffin from San Diego, the Kentucky "fish", and "Nikki" frum upstate NY.

Friday, September 05, 2008

S'more Friday Funnies........

RED STATE UPDATE:


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Well Sir...we'll begin with some comparisons between Republican women-folk and Democrat women-folk....











































Hmmmm.....it's purdy darn sad when Democrat Janet Reno looks the best outta all the Dem's....
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Yupper....In the "Kids say the darnedest things" Department we have....

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered,' she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well,' she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... but before he could say 'Fuck!' the Rottweiler ate him!'

The teacher wet her pants laughing ...
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In the "In Case Ya Ever Wondered Department" as to where the term "The whole nine yards" came from, well now you know.



Here is where the saying "the whole nine yards" originated from.

The WWII P-51D mustang carried 27 feet of ammunition for it's six .50 caliber machine guns.

After returning from a mission a P-51 pilot was asked by his crew chief "did you let 'em have it."

" I let 'em have the whole nine yards" was the pilot's reply.
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Photobucket...There be some male nudity ahead!

To my friends and family.....

I am letting you know before you hear it from anyone in the family or in the paper {or through the rumor mill} that I have been contacted by a woman who alleges that I am the father of her child.

I do not know whether she wishes to substantiate this by means of a DNA test, however she has sent me a photograph of the child, which bears a very strong & undeniable resemblance to me. On the basis of this photographic evidence I have decided to begin paying child support.


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Recently, Michaelangelo's "David" paid a visit frum Italy to the States for a month. Still think we don't eat too much in the country....



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Well Sir...my new amiga, "Ms. Nikki" frum Upstate, New York did some research and discovered why Naked Men shouldn't skydive.....

Gives a whole new meanin to the term ...."Tally Ho"....




**Sigh** I was black and blue for a week after that, and I didn't know the camera was running......
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Gotta thank "Chicago Charlie", "Fish" frum Kentucky, Clint Griffin from San Diego and Susan Gertson fer some of the above submissions....

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Friday....

Just in case your one of those folks who don't believe that some of our media are "In The Tank" fer Obama.....

US Magazine covers. You decide.



















THEN THERE'S THIS LATEST COVER



Nice and fair from the left, huh?

BTW...on Fox News today, the Editor of the Magazine was interviewed and confronted regarding this blatant bias and admitted that the cover was indeed "accidentally misleading".
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Well Sir...we'll continue on with a 3 minute (unheard of nowadays) 1950 "Technicolor" TV commercial for Chevy...**Sigh**.. things were a lot simpler and different back then.....


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"Charlie The Cop shares with us about....

Things that make us say...WTF!









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...and Susan Gertson sends us this story regardin our favorite MAXINE...

DEAR MADAM:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS SHOP.

YOU ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY.

PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE THAT IS OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.



WELL, SHIT!
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Well Sir....my amiga Nikki passed along this real great advice fer both men and women....

How to treat a woman:

Wine her.
Dine her.
Call her.
Hold her.
Surprise her.
Compliment her.
Smile at her.
Listen to her.
Laugh with her.
Cry with her.
Romance her.
Encourage her.
Believe in her.
Pray with her.
Pray for her.
Cuddle with her.
Shop with her.
Give her jewelry.
Buy her flowers.
Hold her hand.
Write love letters to her.
Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.

How To Treat a Man:

Show up naked.
Bring chicken wings.
Don't block the TV
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$7.00 Sex....

A Florida couple, both well into their 60s, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.'

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye. The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row. The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139

We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Rememberin Ms. Fonda, T'is the Season, and...The Savior has arrived....

Well Sir...me buddy Patrick reminds us to....

Let us all pay our respects to Ms. Jane Fonda at the Fonda Memorial....


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Yupper....T'is the Season....





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The "Savior" has arrived.....



Oooooo....Cookie just got goosebumps all over.....
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Now here be a 5 second news broadcast blooper for the history books....


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I'm not quite sure who this guy is...BUT I LIKE HIM! He tells it like it is.....



Thanks Susan G. frum Eagle Lake fer sendin me that one....
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....and "Charlie The Cop" helps put things into perspective fer us regardin Obama and "Change"....

CHANGE???..HELL, FOLKS--WE GOT CHANGE!...YOU WANT MORE???

George Bush has been in office for 7 1/2 years. The first six the economy was fine.

A little over one year ago:

1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;

2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;

3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.

4) the DOW JONES hit a record high--14,000 +

5) American's were buying new cars, taking cruises, vacations o'seas, living large!...


But American's wanted 'CHANNGE'! So, in 2006 they voted in a Democratic Congress & yep--we got 'CHANGE' all right!......

1) Consumer confidence has plummeted ;

2) Gasoline is now over $4 a gallon & climbing!;

3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);

4) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $12 TRILLION DOLLARS & prices still dropping;

5) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

6) as I write, THE DOW is probing another low~~11,300--$2.5 TRILLION DOLLARS HAS EVAPORATED FROM THEIR STOCKS, BONDS & MUTUAL FUNDS INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS!

YEP , IN 2006 AMERICA VOTED FOR CHANGE!...AND WE SURE AS HELL GOT IT!!!....

NOW 'BO', the DEM'S CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT--AND THE POLLS SAY HE'S GONNA BE 'THE MAN'--CLAIMS HE'S GONNA REALLY GIVE US CHANGE!!....

JUST HOW MUCH MORE 'CHANGE' DO YA THINK YOU CAN STAND???.....

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