Cooler weather is a comin.... here's some great tastin hot goodies...

Well Sir...as much as I hates t'say it....the cooler/colder weather she's a comin folks...so here's a couple recipe's t'keep yur ass's warm on a chilly Fall day....

The first is frum my buddy Myron...and he knows a thing or two bout great Cajun cookin (BTW...I made this and it GREAT!!!), and the second recipe is frum Sue Gertson in Eagle Lake, Texas (haven't had a chance to try it yet Sue...but I will)....thank ya both mates.....

BTW folks...please send me some a yur recipe's with a short Bio about yurself so's I can give y'all credtit fer yur culinary achievements....Use my E-mail address in my "full profile"...or... thecookshack@aol.com .....thanks.....



Chicken and Smoked Sausage Gumbo

I'm tellin' ya ratt up front. Dis is some good eatin'. Fresh loaf of homemade French bread for soppin', oh yeah.An' you can put anytang you want in it. You lak ham? Dump him in dere. Shrimp? Put 'em in in da lass few minutes because it don't take long to turn shrimp into rubber. Fish? Oyster? Hell, you makin' it. Put what you want in it.

3 T cooking oil
3 T all-purpose flour1 onion, chopped
2 ribs celery, chopped
1 green bell pepper, chopped(dose las tree tings is da cajun Holy Trinity)
1 10 oz package frozen sliced okra
1 bay leaf
1 1/2 t dried thyme
1 t dried oregano
2 t salt
1/4 t freshly ground black pepper
1/4 t cayenne pepper (more if you gonna ax me over for supper)
1 3/4 cups canned crushed tomatoes in thisck puree (that be 1 15 ounce can)
1 quart canned low-sodium chicken broth (cut da salt if you don't use low sodium here)
1/2 pound smoked sausage cut into 1/4 inch or so slices (maybe a whole pound if you ax me over)
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 3/4 inch pieces
1 cup rice (dis make it kinda loose and soupy)

In a large pot, heat oil over moderate heat. Whisk in flour and cook, whisking until brown as you lak. Me, I'm lak a nice dark roux. Reduce heat and stir in the trinity (onion, celery, and bell pepper) and cook until starting to soften, maybe 6 or 8 minutes.

Add okra, bay leaf, thyme, oregano, salt, black pepper, cayene and tomatoes. Cover; cook 5 minutes.

Stir in broth and sausage. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes.

Add chicken and remove bay leaf. cook about another 20 minutes or so. Or till da rice is did.

You know how to do rice, yeah? 1 cup rice, 2 cups water and brought it to a boil. Cut heat to way low, cover and cook for 20 minutes. Don't matter if a little water is lef' dis tim on account you mixin' it wit da gumbo.

Serve how you lak it. Some folk put da rice in a bowl and ladel da gumbo on top. Me, I dump da rice in da pot. Hell, it all goin' da same place no how. Dis spose ta make 4 servin's. Yeah, if you don't ax me over it might.


Susan’s Mexican Chicken Soup

1 Chicken cooked and boned
Reserve broth

1 onion chopped
1 jalapeno seeded and chopped
4 tsp minced garlic
2 carrots diced
6 ribs celery diced
1 can Ro-tel tomatoes
2 cans Campbell’s Healthy Choice creamy chicken soup
1 tsp each of ground cumin, chili powder, salt and lemon pepper
1 cup noodles

Heat broth and add all veggies, noodles and spices – cook until almost done, then add soups and chicken (more water if needed). Heat until warm.
Serve with tortilla chips.

Yupper...those will warm up yur belly fer sure......

A Shitty Post... and a Senior Test...betcha fail it.... and Flag Desicration...

It was entertainment night at the senior center in the midst of Winter, and the
Amazing Claude was topping the bill. People came from
miles around to see the famed hypnotist do his stuff.

As Claude went to the front of the meeting room, he
announced, "Unlike most hypnotists who invite two or
three people up here to be put into a trance, I intend
to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew
a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want
you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
special watch. It's been in my family for six generations.

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while
quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch
the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch
swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.
Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until,
suddenly, ----- it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and
fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

"Shit!" said the hypnotist... .....

It took three weeks to clean up the senior center....

SENIOR TEST....Betcha Fail it......

Test for Dementia:

Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are....Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)

First Question:You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer:
If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question:If you overtake the last person, then you are...?

Answer:
If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.......Maybe.

Fourth Question:Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!

Okay, now the bonus round: A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

He just has to open his mouth and ask...It's really very simple.... Like you!

Hey...yet anuther Good Ol Cookshack Hat-Tip to Sue frum Eagle Lake, Texas...thanks Sue.....

...and finally...What I call desicration of the Stars & Bars.....



Cookie....

Now fer a little levity......

This got my attention the other day.....
so...I did....but I didn't get the attention I thought I would. Man those handcuff's were tight....






After the Union and TSA post...thought we'd had enuff a the in-depth shit fer a spell....so I'm just sorta puttin together a hodge-podge of various interestin things that folks have sent me frum time t'time......Now....here's a photygraph that will give y'all the willies.....

Good Sir...if'n that don't curdle yur mornin coffee....

...and if'n it turns ya on...Well Sir...y'all got some real strange taste in women folk.....







OK....well...this here bein upstate NY where we all got alot a deer...most folks decorate their home's with things that got somethin t'do with an outdoor "mottiff"....so...not wantin to break with tradition...I decided to add this real neat door bell to my humble abode......whatch y'all think?

The damn thing is though that most folks still knock....magine that!

Gotta give a good old Cookshack Hat-Tip to both The Doubting Thomas and my new found friend down in Eagle Lake, Texas...Sue Gertson fer sendin some a the photo's....

Y'all take care now hear....Cookie....

Unions.. This bein Labor Day...this post seems appropriate...it'll piss some folks off...

Well Sir...two posts ago I wrote about my bad experience with the TSA and why I, and others, saw the need for some group protection against an abusive and FUBAR management. We turned to a Union for help.

Now Sir.....the main thrust on my article was not supposed to be about Unions, but was primarily regarding the fact that Veterans all across the country...who work in ANY Federal job...are now potentially unprotected against unlawfull terminations. Our Veterans rights protections have been stripped from us by a Federal Distrct Court ruling. Certain Government agencies DO NOT have to abide by laws set forth to protect Vets, and this case now sets a precident for all other Government agencies to follow suit and terminate Vets unjustly.

Okie-Dokie....Now I'm a gonna tell y'all a little more about the Cookster that y'all didn't know...has t'do with Unions......

My father and mother were staunch and extremely active Union folks. My father grew up in Pennsylvania/West Virginia mining country at a time when Unions were badly needed in this country. He knew John L Lewis (Pictured above-United Mine Workers of America) and Walter Ruther( United Auto Workers) personally...and fought side by side with them during the establishment of the UMWA, CIO (Congress of Industrial Organizations) and UAW....a time by the way when Labor/Management battles were often fought with baseball bats, knives, company goons/cops and guns. Later...my father went on to be a President of the United Auto Workers...and after that fought for Senior Citizens rights across our country. My mother was a Secretary for the UAW.

So Sir...now that y'all got the picture that I knew quite a bit about Unions, their infrastructure and operations...it might come as a surprise fer ya to learn that most of my life I personally believed that Unions had done more to hurt this great country than any other thing, aside from wars that is. No Sir...if ya'd have ever asked me about Unions... I woulda gone on fer hours about what a bane they were t'this here country and how they were THEE cause of out of control spiraling inflation and every other ill facin the United States....how they had the power to bring this nation to its knee's if they wanted to (and a Truckers strike by the Teamsters almost did). Yes Sir...I truly disliked Unions.... a course...ya should also know that through most a my life I was in Management!!!

So...when this here Cookie found hisself on the receivin end of continued and excessive management abuse...my perspective changed quite a bit...yes sir...quite a bit indeed. A wise person once said "people only care about, or get involved in a cause...when it begins to affect them."

I decided to write this article because several of the comments left in the previous post regardin the loss of Vets Rights were about Unions...and the views were...not surpisingly...split. After 62 years of life...here's the Cookie's view regardin Unions...any Union.....

The need fer em is comin back! Yes Sir...the proverbial pendulum is swingin back to a time when we're gonna need them agin mate's....at least in the Government sector. I witnessed first hand an attitude that permeated almost all of the TSA management people I had contact with...and that was that..."we can do any damn thing to you that we wanna do...cause we're Feds." Yupper...gotta admit that after all these years...I was wrong and my folks were right! We need Unions......

Now Sir...knowin a might more about people and life than some folks...I know that this attitude was filtering down from above. These nasty folks that were indiscriminately hurting good people wouldn't be doin things the way they was if'n they were fearin any negative consequenses from above them...No Sir....and by above...I'm talkin about our current Government administration. Now...before y'all jump on me...let it be known I'm a dyed in the wool conservative Republican and voted fer most a the folks that are now in office, something I rue to this very day....anyway...that's beside the point.

My understanding is...and I can be wrong about this, so someone correct me if'n I am...is that certain government workers no longer have "Whistle-blower" protection. I guess it's felt that pointing out corruption, eneptitude, wasteful and inefficient management people or practices will be counter productive to an agency's function. Somebody correct me if I'm wrong regardin this...cause I'm not completely sure.....but I believe I'm correct. So the question now becomes....WHERE THE HELL ARE THE CHECKS AND BALANCES???

So here we are....a loss of Vet's Rights, no Unions to protect certain Government workers...and no "Whistle-blower" protection fer those folks who might say...."Hey...this is wrong."

So...as Fox News would say....."You Decide."....but I guess this is just my way a thinkin....Cookie....

OK...nuff about SNAFU or FUBAR government agencies ...back to some chuckles stuff

...Just in case yur a wonderin what SNAFU and FUBAR mean...they are acronyms fer Situation Normal, All Fucked Up...and...Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition....


CHIEF TWO EAGLES

The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two U.S. government officials sent to interview him.

Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."

The chief nodded.

The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied….

When white man found the land, Indians were running it. No taxes. No debt. Plenty buffalo. Plenty beaver. Women did most of the work. Medicine man free. Indian men hunted and fished all the time."

The chief smiled, and added quietly, "Only White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that!"

___________________________________________

One Friday night, a policeman saw a car parked up at "makeout point." Shining his flashlight in the window, he saw a young man fidgeting in the front seat glancing at his watch and a young woman sitting in the back seat reading a magazine.
"Excuse me, son," said the cop, "but how old are the two of you?" "I'm 18, sir, and," (checking his watch another time) "in 10 more minutes, she'll be 18, too!"

___________________________________________


She's in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. He walks in. She turns and says, "You've got to make love to me this very moment."

His eyes light up and he thinks, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraces her and then gives it his all on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she says, "Thanks," and returns to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, he asks, "What was that all about?"

She explains, "The egg timer's broken."


___________________________________

Think before you speak...

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:


I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.


SECOND TESTIMONY:


I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."


THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.


FOURTH TESTIMONY:


While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a
voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped
what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when
the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.


FIFTH TESTIMONY:


Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an
accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?"
This time he jumped up,
yanked down his pants,
bent over,
spread his cheeks
and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!


LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:


This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!


Now, didn't that feel good?
Pass it on to someone you know who needs a laugh
and remember
we all say things we don't really mean,
so think before you speak...

Y'all have a good one now hear.....Cookie