Saturday, March 31, 2007

What do these two women have in common...???

Well Sir....we all know the traitorous, uncouth, ill mannered, boorish, hate-mongering fat slob of a malcontented miscreant, Rosie O'Donnell on the right....someone I will henceforth be referrin to in all future posts as "Tehran Rosie".....

...and the other woman is someone who was infamous in WWII and she was called "Tokyo Rose"......Google it!

Some Sunday Sundries...

Three guys are debating who has the best memory.

First guy says,
"I can remember the first day of my First Grade class."

Second guy says,
"I can remember my first day at Nursery School!"

Not to be outdone, the third guy says,
"That's nothing. I can remember going to the senior prom with my dad,
and coming home with my mom."

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The
teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.

She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she guessed
"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, "Champagne?.

"No" said the little boy....."It's a puppy!"

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping up and down for joy!

I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great! Tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said.... "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"


My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and commit my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping and cheering!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "we are very happy that you have passed our little test......we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car........!!

Well Sir....I'd like to thank both Sue Gertson frum Texas, and "Fish" frum Kentucky fer sendin the old Cookie these here jokes.....

I've had it with this boorish bitch...

Well Sir....the fat, loudmouthed, boorish bitch is at it again. She is now expounding about the perceived 9/11 conspiracy and how we murdered our own siding with Iran regardin the hostages...
She gives Lesbians a bad name....

I've had to make a small sacrifice in an area of my life...and that is that I will no longer will watch ANY PROGRAM on the ABC Network till this ugly, cancerous, hate spouting, obnoxious, oxygen wastin miscreant is removed from their payroll.....

Maybe someday I'll tell y'all how I really feel......

Anyone care t'join me.......?

Friday, March 30, 2007

I love this guy.....

Well Sir....I just gotta say that I'm truly disallusioned by what candidates have decided t'run thus fer....but I'd just love to see old Fred Thompson run....

He tells it like it is and don't mince words.....

Unfortunately YouTube cut off the very end of the audio. The last sentence is "This is not the time for the free world to neglect its own defense."

The Cookie man had his Crank Yanked....

NO!...not that way.

It seems that someone I recently met in the blogosphere managed to pull the old Cookie inta a pretty good practical joke.....and I...not knowin this feller blogger at all...fell hook, line and "symbol"....

A few post's back I requested any info regarding some glyphs and symbols that this here "not so nice" feller blogger had written (and posted) that he had found on his property.

Well Sir...havin an avid interest in Archaeology...and after spendin a goodly many hours researchin these various symbols....and comin up empty handed...I began to suspect that I...the great and powerful Cookie of Oz... had fallen fer a embarrassin....

I confronted this nere-do-well named "Rex" regardin my suspicions and he confirmed them....
OK Mr. Rex....the battlelines have been drawn! I'm askin all my feller bloggers readin this to get on over to The Deer Camp blog and tell Mr. Rex just what ya think of him pullin such a dirty trick on good old Cookie.....

....and just be a rememberin Rex...payback's a Bitch......

Hmmmm...can you hear the silence of the MSM...???

Well Sir....I discovered this little tidbit while perusin The Dread Pundit Bluto and The Jawa Report.....

It's old news......but this is the first I've heard of it...mainly cause the MSM has been to preoccupied going after anything other than 8 US Attorney's having been fired....

It seems Missy Feinstein was directing very lucrative Military contracts to her hubbies firms....

Ya know...when I was a cop...we used to arrest folks fer shit like this..... It comes under the heading(s) of Graft or Corruption....Can you say MALFEASENCE of OFFICE...

Y'all can read the entire story here at Metroactive......

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Rosie and the Cowboy... and Doctor has sex with patient..

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, Rosie O'Donnell sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women." The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."


Doctor Feels Guilty for Having Sex With A Patient

Doctor Jim had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming.

But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said: "Jim, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go.."

But invariably another voice would bring him back to reality, whispering.... "Jim you asshole, you're a veterinarian..."

Monday, March 26, 2007

I love a good mystery.....

Well new buddy Rex over at the Deer Camp posted some photygraffs of some ancient symbols he's located...and an article (key like object) he found while pokin around in the ground near the symbols.....
Now Sir....I did some cursory investigatin regardin the symbols (and possible language), but basically came up empty....

Anybody out there have a piece to this puzzle that me and Rex are missin.......???

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Some buttons I'd like t'have.....

Well Sir...T'is like most bloggers...I'll just put up sumthin simple....