The Republican Cowboy....
A Republican cowboy from Texas attends a social function where Hillary Clinton is attending, and trying gather more support for her nomination.
Once she discovers the cowboy is a Republican, she starts to belittle him
by talking in a southern drawl and single syllable words.
As she was doing that, she kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around her head. The cowboy says, "Y'all havin' some problem with them circle flies?"
She stopped talking and said, "Well yes, if that's what they're called. But I've never heard of circle flies."
"Well ma'am," the cowboy replies, "circle flies hang around ranches. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
"Oh," Hillary replies as she goes back to rambling. But, a moment later she stops and bluntly asks, "Are you calling me a horse's ass?"
"No, ma'am," the cowboy replies, "I have too much respect for citizens of New York to call their Senator a horse's ass."
"That's a good thing," she responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
Uncle Jay explains how hard Congress really wurks fer us...
Why men wear earrings
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an
earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow,
and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him
to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck."
I always wondered how this trend got started.
Betcha never knew this....I didn't....
I have been driving for over forty years. One would think I would have noticed the little secret on my dashboard that was staring me right in the face the whole time. I didn't and I bet you probably haven't either.
Quick question, which side of your car is your gas tank on? If you are anything like me, you probably can't remember right away. My solution is to uncomfortably stick my head out the window, strain my neck and look. If you don't do this in your own car you definitely have done it in a borrowed or rental car.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to share with you my little secret so you will no longer look like Ace Ventura on your way to the gas station or put your neck at risk of discomfort or injury.
If you look at your gas gauge, you will see a small icon of a gas pump. The handle of the gas pump will extend out on either the left or right side of the pump. If your tank is on the left, the handle will be on the left. If your tank is on the right, the handle will be on the right (see photo above). It is that simple!
I don't know how you feel right now but when I found out this morning I felt cheated!
Why don't the dealers share such important information with car buyers? I don't understand why this isn't in the driver's manual? I don't get why any mechanic I have ever been to or know has even thought of mentioning this to me? The only possible explanation can be that all these people probably don't even know!
Go out and share the world's best kept auto secret with your friends.
I gotta thank "Charlie the Cop" and 'Cinnabitch", both from Chicago fer sharin these with us....